To ask what it's like if you're very attractive?!

[ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner]

Is it amazing? Hard work? Annoying?

But if a weird question I know but I'm on holiday at the moment and surrounded by very attractive women (and men), seriously they are everywhere! Women with amazing bodies, beautiful faces and lovely suntans 😂 I'm a fat, pale 40 something in and out of the pool with the kids trying to hide my size under a baggy Tankini and a beach cover up dreaming of looking like these women. So me and dh were talking and I said I wonder what it's like to be beautiful, he reckons it must be quite powerful to know that everyone is looking at you and thinking "wow" but I'm not sure.. I reckon you must be judged unfairly by men and women but equally it must be amazing to pull something out of your wardrobe and just know that you're going to look good in it!

Is it harder or easier professionally?

There is one woman here who walks her baby round and round the pool every afternoon in the pushchair to get him to sleep and she has this tiny bikini on but just walks and looks so confident. I'm not sure I'd be that confident even if I did look like her!

Just sitting here wondering before I have squeeze into something for dinner that won't make me sweat 😂

@murmuratingstarling
It's a hard cross to bear, but I get by.

@Lalliella

Dammit @MurmuratingStarling I came on here to say almost those identical words! Beautiful minds think alike I guess!

LOL!

I was overweight until my late teens/early twenties and was completely invisible. I lost the weight and really noticed how much easier everything came to me. People want to help/please/be nice to beautiful women. I feel grateful to have had the experience of being bigger otherwise I might think I actually warranted the special treatment.

My sister is amazingly beautiful. We are mixed race and so we all kind of look a bit different but mixed but she took on the most beautiful traits of our parents. She has a look of being from anywhere but she's tall and thin. She takes it in her stride. She does get stared at a lot but she tends to ignore it. Dating for her has been a nightmare and she hasn't tended to gravitate towards equally gorgeous men. It's very interesting how she navigates life as people do respond to her differently so she doesn't see how life is different for people who aren't as good looking. She's generally a good egg and grounded but she knows objectively she's good looking.

@Puppylucky

Ah well you're experiencing the oddness of Dubai! Most of the women you are seeing are travelling wives or girlfriends who literally have nothing else to do but make themselves look gorgeous. There are usually a high proportion of Arab women as well who place a very high premium on looking perfect at all times. Don't bother to compete as they aren't the real world!

@Puppylucky can totally see that here, have no chance of competing though just spent the day daydreaming what it must be like to look that amazing!!

[quote VanLife]@ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner there's more to life than being attractive. Like traveling and going to places you havnt seen before. Don't waste it sitting there comparing yourself to other people, go and have an adventure in a country you've not been to before! Your experience is what's beautiful.[/quote]
@VanLife ahhh I know, was just having little daydream about how nice it would be to look that amazing!! We took the kids on a jeep safari today and they both said it was the best day ever so that's enough for me!

What it's like is totally dependent on how you are, and whether you live your life seeing yourself through others' eyes, or through your own.

It’s a great feeling to be able to grab basically any item of clothing and know it’ll look good on you - but that’s where the ‘powerful’ feeling ends. I echo what others have said... lots of ogling and groping from guys and bitchy behaviour from other women. Plus I’ve found over the years that there’s a pressure to maintain it - otherwise people like to revel in your change in looks no matter what the reasons (pregnancy, health etc.)

Also people judge you on who you date! They like to remind you that your bf etc is punching, or ask what you see in X.
DH was the only one no one questioned me over

The Police have me under house arrest because every time I step out I stop the traffic.

I’m not certain I’m qualified to answer as I’ve never felt beautiful, but in my teens and 20s I was largely alone and ignored. Later on, lots of people I either knew at the time or didn’t (but they say they knew who I was) have approached me over the years to say they used to watch me/ be in awe of me/ in the case of men be intimidated to approach me. In reality I never thought I’d be considered beautiful, but apparently I was, and it was a lonely place (barring a few bosses making passes at me and one good friend).
Now I’m older, fatter and largely invisible but do seem to be more approachable.

@MurmuratingStarling

It's a hard cross to bear, but I get by.

😂😂😂😂

@microbius

People look different fully clothed. By the pool, people confident of their bodies will hold themselves well; they might not necessarily look the same way when at work in some rainy place in GB

Beauty can be very different; some attracts, some makes people take a step back. Generally, there are studies that show that taller, slimmer and good looking people get more promotions at work and climb career ladders quicker

Do you really think that people who feel confident half naked around the pool actually feel less confident with their clothes on in a city?!

I think there are a lot of benefits, no doubt, but also stress, especially in relation to looks fading. Look at people like Danielle Lloyd, clearly feels like she has to cling onto her looks at all costs, but past a certain age, there will always be someone who looks younger and fresher than you. Plus, while you’re looking good, you have literally no control over whose attention you attract. I spent a good part of my younger years avoiding creepy weirdos, and that’s without even being stunningly beautiful.

So, obviously there’s a lot of upside, but I think people forget the downsides. If there were none, good looking people would be the happiest of all, but you don’t have to look far to see that’s not the case. I bet bikini mum is putting in the hours to be in shape, and having to walk your kid round the pool to get them to go to sleep is a pain whether you’re gorgeous or not.

My mum is beautiful with an amazing figure. I look like my dad! But she takes care of herself too and dresses well and honestly, even in her 70s, still gets looks and men chatting to her animatedly. She actually got stopped by a gentleman of around the same age the other day as he wanted to tell her she looked beautiful.

She has had some snarky remarks from women over the years (I've witnessed some of them, inc from my own MIL) but she generally gets a good reaction from most people as she is so friendly and chatty.
I've always felt a bit invisible around her, even when I was supposed to be young and attractive so it's affected my confidence a bit.

Ask that baby in 16 years.

@tiddlywinks2

What it's like is totally dependent on how you are, and whether you live your life seeing yourself through others' eyes, or through your own.

^ I think so.

Vanlife’s comment is the real deal.

I’m sure it’s nice to be pretty/beautiful. We look at stars like Lana Turner Liz Taylor or Marilyn Monroe with wonder (though of course they were also “styled” by Hollywood). But personality really does count majorly I believe!! Looks and personality combined must be a killer!

I meant Laing and Vanlife’s comments.

I’m 45 with a pot belly and stretch marks, but I was a model in my youth. The perks of being attractive were very minor and mainly revolved around men giving you things - guest list/VIP for nightclubs, free drinks, priority treatment & attention. Stuff I only really gave a shit about for a brief period of time when very immature and green.

The negatives were being constantly hit on by blokes, including sleazy older men, and in all settings - at work and on the street and just fucking ALL the time, everywhere m.

Some women also hated me on sight before I’d even opened my mouth and thought I was ‘up myself’ or ‘thought I was so great’. Total bollocks, as I was shy and not very confident. I very obviously made some women feel intimidated and shit about themselves just by being good looking, and as a ‘woman’s woman’ I always found that really tough going and I developed a self deprecating sense of humour to try to put them at ease and make them see me as non-threatening.

Don’t confuse being pretty with confidence, either. I was more self conscious, anxious and negative about myself when I was a stunning young thing than I am now, as a wobbly middle aged woman but with much more self acceptance and confidence.

Men tripping over themselves to 'help' you, Men finding spurious reasons to talk to you. Getting beeped at by cars and vans, Getting chatted up or charmed a lot. Having a laugh with men i was engaging with.

I thought all of this was because i was interesting AND somewhat attractive.

Nope. Turns out it was purely based on my fuckability. I had no idea until I turned menopausal and became invisible!

It does open doors as sex is power it turns out.

It's so subjective though. Tom Hardy is a god to me but others don't find him remotely attractive, likewise Benedict Cumberbatch is not for me at all.

Admittedly it has its perks. I went through an awkward fat period in my 30's after children. I lost the baby weight in my late 30's and got back in shape and am better looking now than I've been since I was a teenager. I do find I get treated better by both men and women. I always receive compliments from men & women on my looks and clothing, but I'm very awkward at accepting them. I still don't have a lot of self confidence. I also have a lot of lose skin after weight loss and will never wear a swimsuit again despite being a size 8. I look much better with clothes on, so there is a lot of pressure to live up to other peoples expectations of the 'beauty standards' they see on me day to day which is why I refuse to go swimming, and have to find ways to get out of swimming invites with friends and their children. I've got ADHD and sadly although people are constantly telling me I'm clever and creative I've never succeeded in a successful career. All I feel I've got is my looks to stand on at the moment, but as I age they're starting to fade a bit, although they're still pretty good for the time being.

I used to do a bit of modelling back in the day (was shit at it). I'm tall & have good hair & would say I'm generically pretty (more catalogue than a striking catwalk model). I think people are genuinely nice to me but I'm also a positive person. Some men have thought I was amazing, others couldn't have been less interested. Never had much issue with other women & have loads of female friends.

Do you really think that people who feel confident half naked around the pool actually feel less confident with their clothes on in a city?!

I did! My figure has gone now, but in my 20s I had such an amazing figure. I don't have a pretty face though, so I was more confident when wearing skimpy clothes like crop tops and bikinis that showed my figure off.