To ask what it's like if you're very attractive?!

[ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner]

Is it amazing? Hard work? Annoying?

But if a weird question I know but I'm on holiday at the moment and surrounded by very attractive women (and men), seriously they are everywhere! Women with amazing bodies, beautiful faces and lovely suntans 😂 I'm a fat, pale 40 something in and out of the pool with the kids trying to hide my size under a baggy Tankini and a beach cover up dreaming of looking like these women. So me and dh were talking and I said I wonder what it's like to be beautiful, he reckons it must be quite powerful to know that everyone is looking at you and thinking "wow" but I'm not sure.. I reckon you must be judged unfairly by men and women but equally it must be amazing to pull something out of your wardrobe and just know that you're going to look good in it!

Is it harder or easier professionally?

There is one woman here who walks her baby round and round the pool every afternoon in the pushchair to get him to sleep and she has this tiny bikini on but just walks and looks so confident. I'm not sure I'd be that confident even if I did look like her!

Just sitting here wondering before I have squeeze into something for dinner that won't make me sweat 😂

I am a bit far now but earlier in my life I was indeed one of those women who gets looked at a lot, admired by men, etc. I actually found it slightly oppressive (whilst occasionally missing it, IYSWIM, as I didn’t have to do things like carry a heavy shopping bag before my 30s, random men would automatically do all that stuff for me with great enthusiasm, very helpful!)

Fat

In my twenties I was probably pretty. Size 8, 5'6, long hair, good skin. I never felt pretty, still don't but I'm fat now.
I used to get told I as pretty and hit on my unpleasant men who varied from annoying to dangerous and I spent a lot of time pretending to have a boyfriend in nightclubs.
I was shy and awkward but felt fine in a bikini. Now I'm still awkward and there is not a chance I would be seen in a bikini. If I went on a pool holiday I would wear a T-shirt and sarong.
We are socialised to hate ourselves and our bodies whatever we look like.

I do think people don't take you seriously, at work for example. You have to work harder to be taken seriously. You get treated like a girl and not a woman. People can be more patronising.

I'm quite attractive and have always been quite vain up until a few years ago. I became a committed Christian and a lot of the obsession with my appearance fell away as I started to value the deeper things. I still like to look nice and polished, and don't see anything wrong with looking attractive. However I really don't like getting attention from men anymore (I used to thrive on it before and it defined my self worth). Now I have a more demure style and prefer to fly under the radar, as opposed to really dolling myself up in an attention seeking way. I know that I can turn heads if I present myself in a certain way and that feeling can be thrilling and quite overwhelming and addictive. Now I wear subtle makeup and don't style myself in a way that draws attention. It feels so liberating! I was raised in a household of attractive parents and siblings and there was a huge emphasis on our looks growing up. We were really taught to value what other people thought of how we looked and that the goal was always to get a compliment. I still have a 'feminine' style and I still enjoy using make up etc but I'm far happier keeping it all very low key.

My best friend at uni was the class beauty, she did get treated very differently, but interestingly when we would go out "on the pull" she always attracted different men from me but not more of them (and not necessarily nicer ones). (She was tall and thin with a nearly flat chest, I was short with very big boobs).

In my late teens to my early thirties I would get horrible attention, cat calls, assaulted on the street, bullied by family members. My sister would call me fat (I was a size 8) Endlessly told my flaws by men, especially the ones I went out with.
It's so sad really - looking at photos I was beautiful.
Most of the girls you are looking at will have been made to feel insecure and ugly by the people around them. I see it now with my stunning niece. I've never seen a physically more perfect looking girl and yet she's treated like shit by the men around her.

They do it because it makes them feel better to hurt something they envy and their sense of entitlement means they see her as not being human.

Just relax and enjoy your holiday. Youth and beauty are fun and fleeting.

Beautiful for me is someone who has great, healthy hair, flawless skin, symmetrical features, and doesn’t need any make up to achieve this. They can literally wake up, dress and look immaculate.

One of the most beautiful women imo is Raquel Welch, in her prime she was absolutely perfect, she didn’t need make up to accentuate her beautiful face.

I was told I was pretty/stunning/good looking (never beautiful) in my 20’s and 30’s but this was mostly when I’d achieved the look after a couple of hours getting ready. I certainly didn’t wake up like that!! Therefore I didn’t really have the confidence to pull it off, when I had attention I felt that they were looking at a mask! Although I did have a great figure, long legs and a great stomach, olive skin.

These days in my 50’s I am a couple of stone heavier and areas have sagged, although I do get comments off people saying they thought I was 10 years younger, but I think they’re just been kind. I do feel more confident however, I don’t get any attention and don’t feel like I’m wearing a mask.

Beautiful for me is someone who has great, healthy hair, flawless skin, symmetrical features, and doesn’t need any make up to achieve this. They can literally wake up, dress and look immaculate.

"At 7am with no makeup, even I don't look like Cindy Crawford."

Bollocks, I'm sure, but I always liked her for that.

@DrSbaitso I’m sure it was bollocks

My daughter is stunning and has an amazing figure, people the come into her work always find her on social media and don’t leave her alone, doesn’t matter the age can range from teens to old men, constant msgs being inappropriate also.
Then when she makes excuses up rather than being rude, they call her a slut or some other weird shit.

The thing about these girls now, people see a stunning person with great body, but they don’t think it and very insecure, so while you’re feeling insecure just know that most of them are too thanks to social media and comparing themselves.

I’m in my 30’s and always been chatted up stared at even when I put on weight I don’t think I am stunning like my daughter is, but she’s like me
When I was younger, but prettier.

I don’t think it’s a hard life, I think people just say that cos they feel guilty when people say you’re so pretty I wish I was and things like that.
The only real issue is pervy males and bitchy women who presume that you’re a bitch or that you’re automatically gonna steal their man cos every stunning woman wants some weirdo fella 😂

I certainly don't see myself in this way now but think I did turn some heads in my younger days and honestly in makes life easier except that men always want to sleep with you and it's hard to have male drives even if they're attached.

make friends

I was a porn star. Well known, worked for playboy etc size 6 with massive implants, platinum complete sex/barbie doll. Whether you find that attractive yourself is neither here nor there but women look at me like I am evil or gossip with snide comments and men follow me which can be terrifying. I have a custom pink car and pink Vespa and get followed on that which scares the shit out of me when it’s a van or car full of blokes. As it happens I am gay and have a partner but even though I couldn’t give a shit if people like the way I look or not, it can be vile.

It's annoying, TBH. I have been at both ends of the attractivness spectrum (usually based on my weight). When I'm at the thinner end, I get male friends suddenly taking an interest, random strangers making comments about my bum, over attentive waiters in restaurants and unsolicited conversations on public transport.
Give me invisibility any day.

Lots of harassment, Men would fall over themselves to assist and people overall were always nice to me. Very occasionally a woman would take umbrage with me.

I’m older now but people still seek conversation with me, it’s always happened. One of my sisters is the same. If I’m a queue people always talk to me. I have been told I give out very positive vibes from a bit of a woo friend of mine and have a good aura.

@Charlize43

The Police have me under house arrest because every time I step out I stop the traffic.

Snorted my coffee!

I'm going to Dubai in a June. I'll be the old fatty around the pool.

I must try to shift some weight before then and up the grooming

I was a porn star. Well known, worked for playboy etc size 6 with massive implants, platinum complete sex/barbie doll. Whether you find that attractive yourself is neither here nor there but women look at me like I am evil or gossip with snide comments and men follow me which can be terrifying.

right or wrong I do think some versions of very attractive get judged a lot more.

I enjoyed it when I was a student. And my looks were the right look for the time and I did some part time modelling.

Girls I'd known for years were fine but new girls I met could be quite hostile before we even spoke. Nasty looks across the seminar room.

A certain type of man would always try it on but that was who they were. I did attract a lot of male attention for a while but most of it was not invasive.

I think it did help get my first job and with interviews.

The next big thing look came along when I was pregnant and I faded into the background. Quite happily and age has faded me more. :) One of my students once said she wished she looked as good as me when she was my age. That's when I knew my time had passed.

I don't think I was really that aware of my looks at the time. I felt lucky.

People are nice to you. I’m not Beyoncé, or anything, but I’m quite attractive. And, as a result, my everyday interactions with the world tend to be pleasant. People give me things, they insist I go first, they smile at me.

I never realised this wasn’t just how people behave until one day, years ago, I was out with a friend who isn’t at all conventionally attractive. The difference in how we were treated - by men and women - was pretty startling. It was a bit like the beginning of Truth about Cats and Dogs (dates reference, but if you’ve watched it, you know what I mean).

Some beautiful women don't know how pretty they are so do not see themselves in that way. Others are seen as beautiful by some but others would not agree. At work, everyone would say how beautiful this particular woman was but I didn't agree. Yet there were others who I felt were beautiful but others felt different. We all have different perceptions of beauty.

I think that women who look really good but show off aren’t really that confident. Their partners are with them for their looks and they need to look perfect all the time because if your partner is only with you for your looks you’re very vulnerable because there will always be someone who’s better looking. So you’re always looking for more and more revealing outfits and if some one better looking enters your friendship group, people are watching your reaction.

That sort of snooty hair-flick beauty tends to get bad reactions from other women.

I’m nearly fifty now and I still look good but I’m not that bothered about my looks. I make an effort but if someone says I’m pretty I’m not interested and would prefer to be intelligent or funny. But looking attractive, groomed and nicely (but not provocatively dressed) is useful because people are far more friendly. I wore a hat once in Sainsbury’s and was treated like the Queen😆.

One of my old school friends was and still is beautiful, in fact she looks even more beautiful without make up imo.

She has a Marilyn Monroe look about her, just stunning, perfect features and looks at least 20 years younger than she actually is.

I’m not sure how this has affected her life, she must still get lots of attention wherever she goes as she’s a real head turner but she’s lovely too and has a warmth about her.

You are in Dubai? My son is currently on a beach in Dubai with his wife and daughter. The weather looks glorious. I am in bed with horrible side effects from spring booster vaccination.