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MiL gave baby first ice cream
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maloney123 · 06/04/2022 23:48

Please let me preface this post by acknowledging that my in laws look after our baby once a week and I’m hugely grateful to them for this. They were desperate to be grandparents (this is their first grandchild) so the arrangement suits us both as they get time with the baby and I get time to catch up on laundry, cleaning etc (I am still on mat leave).

Today my MIL gave our baby her first taste of ice cream (DD is 9 months). I’m not so bothered about the sweet aspect (although we’re not giving her sweets, juice etc as yet) but I feel upset that we didn’t get to give her her first ice cream. I feel like this is a cute milestone moment for a baby and instead of being there I had my MIL describing to me how my daughter reacted to the taste. Previously she has also tried BLW my baby one day after we started weaning her which I was livid about, so we’ve already spoken to her and asked her not to give her new foods without checking in first.

I don’t mind MIL giving “normal” foods but I do feel like something like baby’s first ice cream is a bit special and I feel annoyed and upset that she took this moment away unnecessarily. I don’t think I’m going to say anything about it as I don’t want to appear ungrateful so I guess I’m just venting, feel free to tell me YABU!!

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RustyShackleford3 · 06/04/2022 23:51

If she's spending one whole day every week with her grandparents then there are going to be more things like this. It's inevitable. I'd try and relax about it all. You can't control everything that they do with her.

Maybe try a different "nice" food with baby today? So you get that special feeling of seeing her try something for the first time.

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MissMaple82 · 06/04/2022 23:53

Whoever thought ice cream would be a special milestone Hmm

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worriedatthistime · 06/04/2022 23:55

Its only ice cream not one of the firsts i would be hugely bothered by

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YoYoYoYoSup · 06/04/2022 23:56

YABU PFB

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Qwill · 06/04/2022 23:57

You’re being unreasonable. It sounds like you’re after a ‘insta’ of the event rather than the actual event. Just give them some ice cream later and take a photo. At that age they have no idea, love something one minute, hate it the next. Why would ice cream be any different that giving them an avocado as an example? Don’t make ‘sweet treats’ such an event, or any food for that matter! Sounds like you have a lovely relationship with your in-laws, just say thanks and carry on!

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WithANameLikeDaniCalifornia · 06/04/2022 23:57

You really want to risk a good relationship over an ice cream? YABU. It doesn't matter.

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discodannie · 06/04/2022 23:57

You're being PFB

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VyeBrator · 06/04/2022 23:58

I feel upset that we didn’t get to give her her first ice cream. I feel like this is a cute milestone moment for a baby and instead of being there I had my MIL describing to me how my daughter reacted to the taste.

Oh come on now, read that back and think about it. Plus your arrangement might 'suit you both' but it suits you way more and there'll be tonnes of 'firsts' you won't be there for unless you want to spend every minute 24/7 with your child.

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KELLOGSspeck · 06/04/2022 23:58

I think your way of thinking is not practical how long do you want the food you pack to be exclusive? Or to have identical food for your DD.

It's unreasonable and if you want these rules you would need to specify but I would be put right off.

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maloney123 · 06/04/2022 23:59

@Qwill

You’re being unreasonable. It sounds like you’re after a ‘insta’ of the event rather than the actual event. Just give them some ice cream later and take a photo. At that age they have no idea, love something one minute, hate it the next. Why would ice cream be any different that giving them an avocado as an example? Don’t make ‘sweet treats’ such an event, or any food for that matter! Sounds like you have a lovely relationship with your in-laws, just say thanks and carry on!

I haven’t even got Instagram. What a bizarre post
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TurningUpMyStereotype · 06/04/2022 23:59

I thought you were going to say your baby is only 3 months old and she gave her ice cream or something. Eating ice cream isn’t a milestone. YABU.

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ferntwist · 06/04/2022 23:59

YABU. Very unfair on your MIL. If you want to have all the first experiences with your baby, look after her yourself all the time

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ManateeFair · 07/04/2022 00:01

I feel upset that we didn’t get to give her her first ice cream. I feel like this is a cute milestone moment for a baby

Er… really? And here I was thinking it was just some ice cream.

I really think you’re overreacting to this. Your MIL couldn’t have known that you view ice cream as some kind of special food. If she’s looking after your baby every week for you, she can’t really be expected to check with you every time she does something new or different with her, just in case you think it’s a milestone. If someone told me they were fine with me giving their baby ‘normal food’ I really wouldn’t guess that this excluded ice cream. To me it’s just another thing we have in the freezer, nothing special.

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czycoup · 07/04/2022 00:01

Did they know it was her first? Something similar happened with my DM but she thought/assumed we had already done it. I was a bit gutted but there are so many other firsts in a child's life I couldn't get too wound up about it.

Pick your battles.

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Qwill · 07/04/2022 00:01

I say this because a friend gave my pfb birthday cake right in front of me. I was always going to be a ‘no refined sugar/processed food etc.’. At that moment, I realised it was such a small amount, I was being an idiot, they couldn’t really distinguish it from the smoked mackerel they still had on their high chair. Babies don’t give a crap at all!!!

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PoodleJ · 07/04/2022 00:01

YABU to you it might be a special thing but to others not do much. Let the grandparents have some firsts too. Stop micromanaging everything to do with your baby. If they are good enough to look after them then they will do somethings that you might not have done next.
I would suggest that you have the first steps conversion with them though. Are you going to be gutted if your baby walks at their house first?
If there’s any other ‘firsts’ list you have then let them know or they will continue breaking rules that they didn’t know existed!

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maloney123 · 07/04/2022 00:01

Let me rephrase I guess…she’s only had plain / sensible foods so far on her weaning journey. The sweetest thing she’s had is fruit. For me ice cream is different to avocado or or broccoli or something like that…I don’t know I just wanted to give her her first “treat” food I guess. If anyones seen Place Beyond the Pines there’s a really cute bit where the parents give the baby his first taste of ice cream. Thanks for responses anyway!

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BlackAndPinkNose · 07/04/2022 00:01

When I think of milestones, it's first smile... tooth...steps...haircut...shoes...day at school etc etc not first ice cream. Honestly I think you're being a bit precious about this and risking a good relationship and child care over something very minor.

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Corcory · 07/04/2022 00:02

I've never ever heard that a baby's 'first ice cream' is a special moment. Give yourself a wobble for goodness sake! As they look after her so often there may be many firsts she does when with them, better get used to it or look after her 24/7 and watch her for each 'mile stone'!

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maloney123 · 07/04/2022 00:04

I guess also I’ve got one eye on them possibly giving her juice and things like that, which we definitely want to avoid. I’d never expect her to have given baby ice cream so it’s not occurred to me to say oh don’t give her juice. I don’t want to be giving out orders but also if I don’t know what they’re planning to do then I can’t say oh actually we’d prefer baby not to have that.

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Qwill · 07/04/2022 00:04

@maloney123

Not bizarre at all! Just can’t work out why you think ice cream is the ‘creme de la creme’ (pun intended) of all the food stuffs you’d give your baby to think it was a first that would be worth making a fuss over.

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maloney123 · 07/04/2022 00:05

@Corcory

I've never ever heard that a baby's 'first ice cream' is a special moment. Give yourself a wobble for goodness sake! As they look after her so often there may be many firsts she does when with them, better get used to it or look after her 24/7 and watch her for each 'mile stone'!

…I didn’t say that it is a thing? I just explained that it’s a thing to me? Why are people on here so needlessly aggressive Grin I’m just saying I wanted to see my first baby’s little face when she had her first “treat” food, im not inventing ice cream as a thing! Give your own head a wobble
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maloney123 · 07/04/2022 00:07

[quote Qwill]@maloney123

Not bizarre at all! Just can’t work out why you think ice cream is the ‘creme de la creme’ (pun intended) of all the food stuffs you’d give your baby to think it was a first that would be worth making a fuss over.[/quote]
You’ve projected a whole scenario about me posting photos of my baby eating food on Instagram… based on one post. Strange behaviour!

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Qwill · 07/04/2022 00:07

But you said “ I’m not so bothered about the sweet aspect”, that’s why we all have said you’re being silly.

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maloney123 · 07/04/2022 00:08

For those who’ve given polite and reasonable responses, thank you so much! As I said initially I’m not going to raise it so no need for anyone to be concerned in that front! For the rest of you I hope you are nicer in person than you are on here x

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