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MiL gave baby first ice cream
674

maloney123 · 06/04/2022 23:48

Please let me preface this post by acknowledging that my in laws look after our baby once a week and I’m hugely grateful to them for this. They were desperate to be grandparents (this is their first grandchild) so the arrangement suits us both as they get time with the baby and I get time to catch up on laundry, cleaning etc (I am still on mat leave).

Today my MIL gave our baby her first taste of ice cream (DD is 9 months). I’m not so bothered about the sweet aspect (although we’re not giving her sweets, juice etc as yet) but I feel upset that we didn’t get to give her her first ice cream. I feel like this is a cute milestone moment for a baby and instead of being there I had my MIL describing to me how my daughter reacted to the taste. Previously she has also tried BLW my baby one day after we started weaning her which I was livid about, so we’ve already spoken to her and asked her not to give her new foods without checking in first.

I don’t mind MIL giving “normal” foods but I do feel like something like baby’s first ice cream is a bit special and I feel annoyed and upset that she took this moment away unnecessarily. I don’t think I’m going to say anything about it as I don’t want to appear ungrateful so I guess I’m just venting, feel free to tell me YABU!!

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FreshLinen · 19/04/2022 23:00

I’m totally with you on this @maloney123. I want to be the first to see my children do certain things and I agree, having an ice cream is a cute moment to be shared. Most people won’t care and that’s ok, it’s also absolutely fine if you do want to witness these things. I couldn’t give a monkeys if all the other mums find me neurotic. My MIL is the same, treads on my toes constantly. I have to pick my battles otherwise I’d be having words with her every week Hmm

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Jackofallsorts · 13/04/2022 20:50

Why didn't you give your child their first ice cream? It's not like you didn't have the opportunity over the last 9 months

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Peaplant20 · 13/04/2022 20:46

Aww I totally understand and think (as usual) that lots of the replies are unnecessarily mean. I think like others have said this is inevitable though as they have her one day a week. Next sunny day get the ice cream out so you get to watch her enjoy too!

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Mummymyers21 · 13/04/2022 19:38

Get a grip!

You're being unreasonable. Your MIL is looking after your child for you whilst you're on maternity leave! If you want all the 'firsts' look after her yourself i.e. What maternity leave is for

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Iwantmyoldnameback · 13/04/2022 06:51

It's nothing special. Child will have happy face if they like any food. They will just eat and cry for more. What's the point to hire someone, then moan about it doing their job and trying to entertain the child. It makes people feel unworthy for something so petty

She doesn't hire anyone, she has a day off to herself while mother in-law looks after baby for free.
I dont understand the angst, I would have more sympathy if she was forced to leave baby but it's an absolute choice. Probably needs to make sure house is insta ready for her PFB pics.

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SYLWIA1982 · 13/04/2022 01:43

Cutting her is different, needs agreement. Any child's carer can give any food apart of stuff which may cause obvious allergy, but only with permission carer can cut child's hair.

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SYLWIA1982 · 13/04/2022 01:41

It's nothing special. Child will have happy face if they like any food. They will just eat and cry for more. What's the point to hire someone, then moan about it doing their job and trying to entertain the child. It makes people feel unworthy for something so petty.

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SYLWIA1982 · 13/04/2022 01:37

You are being overdramatic and petty about new stuff given to baby. Have you taken picture of first poo as well, hope not. Stop it. You are destroying people's mental health by picking on stuff like that.

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notjaneausten · 12/04/2022 22:41

I was looking after my grandson, in a park, whilst his parents were in the band playing on the bandstand.
Not really thinking we ( husband and I) bought an ice cream each. Grandson was under one year old, I can’t remember exactly how old, but I felt dreadful, his little face, watching me eat it, and not giving him some. But, yes OP, I agree with you, it was something special his parents should be sharing with him.

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poulicey · 12/04/2022 21:10

Overreacting pfb. You'll def cringe when you look back.

I remember thinking mil talked too loud near my dd and that'd damage her ears 😂 you'll soon realise there are much more important things than the "weaning journey". Try not to micromanage so much, it's impossible, and so exhausting for everyone involved. To feel better about this give the baby some chocolate and film it.

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Bumblefuzz · 12/04/2022 20:56

My DD is almost 12. If it's any consolation, I have absolutely no recollection of her first ice cream or who gave it to her. I do remember her first baby rice, first fruit pot and the fact that she refused to eat anything that wasn't sponsored by heinz or cow and gate (apart from nanny's cooking, she'd eat that!). At 9 months her favourite foods were sprouts and pasta. Ice cream mad her gag.

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FF85 · 12/04/2022 20:14

I totally get it, you've held off giving her anything unhealthy because you know it's the right thing to do and you were so looking forward to that first experience. I remember giving my son cake, his first sweet treat, on his first birthday and it was a special moment.
However, as others have said you do have a great arrangement and that family support will be worth it's weight in gold when you return to work so probably best to let it go. To avoid it happening again I'd make a list of foods you don't want her to have just to be safe and present it in a really tactful way.

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Stocking2821 · 12/04/2022 17:30

Some people are being needlessly harsh on this thread. I completely understand where you’re coming from OP. We’re all guilty of getting a bit annoyed at seemingly ‘petty’ things, it’s normal to want to witness every single first, big or small, with your child. I’d probably feel a bit disappointed too. It sounds like they’re a great help to you and I’m sure you have a good relationship so not worth bringing up with them, but your feelings are valid.

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sassymum67 · 12/04/2022 16:48

My Mum cut my daughters hair! Went ballistic as said never cut it. That was 32 urars ago. Am over it now but I can see where you're coming from

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LBFseBrom · 12/04/2022 09:45

Being a little bit disappointed is one thing but to be upset is way over the top. I wonder how many people on here remember their child's or their own 'first ice cream'; I certainly don't.

However the op did say she wasn't going to mention her upset to grandma so that's all right. Over now.

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Blev2022 · 12/04/2022 09:06

Jesus, I had to stop reading the comments after page two. Some people are so mean!!! Regardless of your opinion there’s a nice way to share. Sorry if I’m repeating after not reading the full thread.

OP, my MIL looks after my daughter and now son for me one day a week (hallelujah! I’d be lost without her). The list of firsts I’ve missed has gone out the window!!! You do get used to it and I really don’t think it would have been anything malicious. Mine have an AMAZING relationship and to be honest my MIL has taught my daughter so many new things too. It was hard in the beginning and I sometimes got jealous (which I also fully accepted as being my issue no one else’s!) And yes most of the sweet stuff was given by her first and trust me now that I have a constantly constipated picky eater toddler who demands chocolate all the time I wish she’d never seen ice cream/chocolate/biscuits 😂

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Strangeways19 · 12/04/2022 08:03

I'd be hugely grateful to your in-laws & honestly "what happens at granny's stays at granny's" that's what I used to say!

This is also their time with their grandchild, you can't expect them to treat her the exact same as you, the relationship will be different & special in its own right.
I sort of get where you're coming from - but they might also get her first tantrum, her first teething problem, they know as well as you do that it's not all sweetness & good times they've done it before - I'd just see it as a small part of a whole

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YouTubeRabbitHole · 11/04/2022 22:57

@Hawkins001 🍦

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Raizin · 11/04/2022 13:07

You're overreacting. It's not that deep.

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Ticksallboxes · 11/04/2022 00:47

What???

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Susysue10 · 11/04/2022 00:12

FFS op, really???? If that is all you have to worry about??? YABU. You have a kindly loving MIL who looks after your baby and you are miffed with her for this....absolutely ridiculous...

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charlottecruz · 10/04/2022 23:33

you ARE NOT bring unreasonable. this would really annoy me too. it's not the concept of "stealing" your milestone, it's more so, it's something new YOU wanted to try giving. they didn't have to take that away from you, even if unintentional. some of these comments really are horrendous. it's normal to want to be present for you babies first moments even if it's something you believe is "small".

i would throw a storm if my ILs or parents gave my little one something like a treat or new without my permission. it's your child and you're not being unreasonable.

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DockOTheBay · 10/04/2022 21:49

@Tilliegirl

What a fuss..It's ice cream not arsenic..ridiculous.

If this was a thread about missing "babys first arsenic" that would be quite different 🤣
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Tilliegirl · 10/04/2022 20:51

What a fuss..It's ice cream not arsenic..ridiculous.

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lashesandflashes · 10/04/2022 18:45

I completely understand where you’re coming from. It’s ok to feel this way but you do have to let it go. Babies at this age live in the moment so you’ll get to enjoy it as a first too!

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