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MiL gave baby first ice cream
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maloney123 · 06/04/2022 23:48

Please let me preface this post by acknowledging that my in laws look after our baby once a week and I’m hugely grateful to them for this. They were desperate to be grandparents (this is their first grandchild) so the arrangement suits us both as they get time with the baby and I get time to catch up on laundry, cleaning etc (I am still on mat leave).

Today my MIL gave our baby her first taste of ice cream (DD is 9 months). I’m not so bothered about the sweet aspect (although we’re not giving her sweets, juice etc as yet) but I feel upset that we didn’t get to give her her first ice cream. I feel like this is a cute milestone moment for a baby and instead of being there I had my MIL describing to me how my daughter reacted to the taste. Previously she has also tried BLW my baby one day after we started weaning her which I was livid about, so we’ve already spoken to her and asked her not to give her new foods without checking in first.

I don’t mind MIL giving “normal” foods but I do feel like something like baby’s first ice cream is a bit special and I feel annoyed and upset that she took this moment away unnecessarily. I don’t think I’m going to say anything about it as I don’t want to appear ungrateful so I guess I’m just venting, feel free to tell me YABU!!

OP's posts:
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Juniper68 · 07/04/2022 00:41

YABU but I said and did stupid shit when mine were little. Especially pfb. I cringe.

Take no notice of those bullying you. Just enjoy your maternity leave and be happy you have some support.

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Pixiedust1234 · 07/04/2022 00:44

If you are this sensitive over MIL giving ice cream you had better watch your baby 24/7 from now on. I can imagine the cosmic screams you are going to give when MIL describes the baby's first tottering steps to you Hmm

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Mamanyt · 07/04/2022 00:44

To put this in perspective, I understand that you are sad to miss this particular first, but...there will be thousands of other firsts that you get to watch, and her grandparents will miss. Let them have this one.

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RedRobin100 · 07/04/2022 00:47

YABVU

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ifyouturnonthelight · 07/04/2022 00:48

Get a grip

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Clymene · 07/04/2022 00:49

@Juniper68

YABU but I said and did stupid shit when mine were little. Especially pfb. I cringe.

Take no notice of those bullying you. Just enjoy your maternity leave and be happy you have some support.

It's not bullying to tell the OP she's being absurd. I know it can feel like a pile on when you're on the other end of it. But it's not bullying.

Let's not minimise and downplay bullying by using it to describe criticism.
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bellabelly · 07/04/2022 00:49

I still remember my twin boys having their first ever ice cream. It was a truly revolting spectacle and most of the ice cream ended up on them / on the buggy! Please don't sweat this - you might feel (briefly) wistful that you weren't there BUT honestly, being there is overrated in many cases. Are you due back at work soon? Could that be triggering your feelings of missing out - just a thought?

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steff13 · 07/04/2022 00:49

@Pixiedust1234

If you are this sensitive over MIL giving ice cream you had better watch your baby 24/7 from now on. I can imagine the cosmic screams you are going to give when MIL describes the baby's first tottering steps to you Hmm

If she starts to take a step, the mother-in-law should push her over, just in case. 😂
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Keepitonthedownlow · 07/04/2022 00:51

You'll need to give your MIL list of milestone foods LOL. Also what are milestone foods? Chips, burgers, chocolate, lollipop, how so you decide?

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SquirrelG · 07/04/2022 00:52

Oh for goodness sake!

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PyongyangKipperbang · 07/04/2022 00:52

And here it is again


"AIBU? Tell me, I can take it!"

"Yes, yes you are"

"NO I AM NOT!!!!!"

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RustyShackleford3 · 07/04/2022 00:53

Are you due back at work soon? Could that be triggering your feelings of missing out - just a thought?

I wondered this. It does funny things to you... I became extremely emotional at this time. So did many of my friends when they went through it. Then there were a few who were itching to get back to work and breezily waved their babies off with a sigh of relief. Funny how we all react so differently to this stuff.

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LBFseBrom · 07/04/2022 00:54

@worriedatthistime

Its only ice cream not one of the firsts i would be hugely bothered by

Yes, it's odd to think of it like that.

Ice cream is nice and soft, a baby would almost certainly like it. I think it is excellent that the op's daughter has had some and don't see that it matters who gave it to her.
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Juniper68 · 07/04/2022 00:54

Clymene some of these posters are taking the piss. That's bullying. She's a first time mother (presumably?). I think people on here forget what they were like when they had newborns. Although it's an internet forum so could be hairy arsed men posting for all we know. Anyone can post and poke fun.

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Juniper68 · 07/04/2022 00:56

OP probably best not to post on AIBU about such stuff?

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Newdad19 · 07/04/2022 01:02

@Juniper68

OP probably best not to post on AIBU about such stuff?

Why? Because people are incapable of telling the OP she is BU without being absolute dicks and piling on?

OP - I get why you feel the way you do and it does feel like a big deal, but YABU as you have probably gathered. Smile There will be loads of other first reactions you will get to experience (even if they aren't traditional "firsts" or important to others on here). I actually think you can try and look at it in a way that it was a nice thing for your MIL to get to experience and as she obviously dotes on your DC it is probably something she will really fondly remember.
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HiJenny35 · 07/04/2022 01:03

I can see why you are upset, I went back to work and felt gutted by everything I was missing, but yes yabu, you are going to miss lots of firsts that's just the crap of a working mum, you can't cover everything, I remember being gutted that I'd missed the first library song time and pretty sure I missed the first steps, my mother refused to give baby the food I sent and re cut it and swapped it for other things, bloody annoying but hey you just have to realise thats part of having someone else look after your child, they won't do it exactly as you want, family won't, childminders won't, a nursery won't, you have to realise that whoever you have you are going to be out of control with your own child to some degree and you will miss out on some things because what is important to one isn't to another.

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Kanaloa · 07/04/2022 01:09

I guess that’s the trade off for getting free childcare - sometimes your child will do special things with them. MIL took my youngest for her first haircut and bought her her first shoes. Well her first ‘proper’ shoes.

I really think if you trust someone enough to care for your child like this then you accept they’re not your nanny or ‘helper,’ they’re an involved person in the child’s life.

Also, it’s ice cream. It’s not really a milestone - you won’t be sitting when your kid is 15 and saying ‘I remember the first ever taste of ice cream you had.’ I know all mine like ice cream, but the only one I remember having it first was my oldest, because I was so religiously following the weaning and healthy eating plan week by week that my HV gave me. He was about one and I gave him a shard of wafer from my ice cream cone with a scrape of ice cream on it.

DD6 is the fourth child and probably scavenged half a sundae from a McDonald’s bin somewhere for her first ice cream.

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CJsGoldfish · 07/04/2022 01:12

Whoever thought ice cream would be a special milestone hmm

But..but... It was in a movie! 🤣

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Newdad19 · 07/04/2022 01:15

@CJsGoldfish

Whoever thought ice cream would be a special milestone hmm

But..but... It was in a movie! 🤣

@CJsGoldfish why are you so horrible? Is there really any need to mock people?
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Luredbyapomegranate · 07/04/2022 01:19

You are being a bit precious

It’s kind of granny’s job to give kids sweets

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Clymene · 07/04/2022 01:20

@Juniper68

Clymene some of these posters are taking the piss. That's bullying. She's a first time mother (presumably?). I think people on here forget what they were like when they had newborns. Although it's an internet forum so could be hairy arsed men posting for all we know. Anyone can post and poke fun.

No, it's being unkind. That's not bullying.
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LetHimHaveIt · 07/04/2022 01:21

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

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CaraherEIL · 07/04/2022 01:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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Doodar · 07/04/2022 01:37

'weaning journey'Grin[grinGrin

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