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MiL gave baby first ice cream
674

maloney123 · 06/04/2022 23:48

Please let me preface this post by acknowledging that my in laws look after our baby once a week and I’m hugely grateful to them for this. They were desperate to be grandparents (this is their first grandchild) so the arrangement suits us both as they get time with the baby and I get time to catch up on laundry, cleaning etc (I am still on mat leave).

Today my MIL gave our baby her first taste of ice cream (DD is 9 months). I’m not so bothered about the sweet aspect (although we’re not giving her sweets, juice etc as yet) but I feel upset that we didn’t get to give her her first ice cream. I feel like this is a cute milestone moment for a baby and instead of being there I had my MIL describing to me how my daughter reacted to the taste. Previously she has also tried BLW my baby one day after we started weaning her which I was livid about, so we’ve already spoken to her and asked her not to give her new foods without checking in first.

I don’t mind MIL giving “normal” foods but I do feel like something like baby’s first ice cream is a bit special and I feel annoyed and upset that she took this moment away unnecessarily. I don’t think I’m going to say anything about it as I don’t want to appear ungrateful so I guess I’m just venting, feel free to tell me YABU!!

OP's posts:
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L0stinCyberspace · 07/04/2022 04:45

YABU. Accept that you don't have total control, be appreciative of their support and that they are a positive part of your baby's life.

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tcjotm · 07/04/2022 04:47

Baby’s first taste of really tangy Greek yoghurt is a great milestone. My baby sister was absolutely horrified when I gave her a spoonful. The faces she made I remember with joy 30ish years later 😂😂😂

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echt · 07/04/2022 04:48

@Hollywolly1

The issue here is you are putting your baby into their care once a week for a full day😱not a great idea because if it was your own mum its different as you can tell her your concerns and she will listen or most of them do.This arrangement is going to cause nothing but problems for you going forward.

How can you assume that the relationship with her own mother, who the OP hasn't mentioned, would be any different?
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Pebble55 · 07/04/2022 04:54

Geez, what I'd give for in-laws that take DD once a week! Ours aren't interested, MIL won't even touch her.

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Thehundredthnamechange · 07/04/2022 05:07

Ice cream isn't a milestone. You're being precious but I'd have been the same with my first. Baby will be just as happy with her second taste as she was with her first!

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PheonixGlitterRepublic · 07/04/2022 05:09

With my PFB this would have also annoyed me to be honest, but not with my second and now I can see that it’s ridiculous. Sometimes we obsess about things with babies and lose context. As others have said, be grateful you have childcare one day a week, you have already said you won’t say anything to MIL which is the correct approach in this instance. I think you’re getting a bit of a hard time here as every experienced mother and grandma was a bit PFB at one point.

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twinsetandpearl · 07/04/2022 05:11

Oh my god OP grow up

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Allaboutyou222 · 07/04/2022 05:18

Yes lots of people can be a bit PFB at first. You realise if you have another just how unreasonable you are!

Only ice cream. Not really a milestone. My DM made sure on Xmas day that she gave my DD her first Xmas present. ‘I wanted to be the person who gave her her first present’. Whisked DD off to her to her room first thing Xmas morning to do it. Astonishing really that she did that. But that’s a whole other thread…….!

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PrincessNutella · 07/04/2022 05:19

My baby-sitter gave my son his first ice cream. I think back to that memory fondly. Let grandmother have that little moment. Besides, babies aren't that bright. Your child can have another first taste of ice cream next week, and won't mind at all!!

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YukoandHiro · 07/04/2022 05:22

I genuinely thought this was going to be about CMPA.

You're being completely unreasonable OP. Just be grateful you have a child who can eat anything with caring relatives who want to look after them and you don't constantly have to worry that a mistake will land them in hospital or worse

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ittakes2 · 07/04/2022 05:26

Consequence of childcare I am afraid. The same would have happened if she was in nursery. If you have lots of 'firsts' you want to do write them down and get them done.
If it makes you feel any better my m'n'law held my baby before me because I was in the ICU and my baby was in the special baby unit - my husband was so excited about the baby he handed him to his mum without it occurring to him that after carrying him my belly for 8 months that maybe I might like to hold him in person before all the relatives did!
And then there was the time she gave my twins their first bikes.
I was very upset at the time about both these things but honestly you get over them after a while.

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RiojaRose · 07/04/2022 05:32

@Thursa

I remember my eldests face when he first tasted ice cream, and he’s 23 this year.

Same here. And that’s why I think the OP is not being unreasonable.
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LadyPenelope68 · 07/04/2022 05:36

@maloney123
Sorry but what a ridiculous post, first time ever I’ve laughed out lite at such a PFB. Think you need to give your head a wobble.

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Hesma · 07/04/2022 05:38

You’re being ridiculous and super precious

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Suzi888 · 07/04/2022 05:42

“I didn’t say that it is a thing? I just explained that it’s a thing to me? Why are people on here so needlessly aggressive grin I’m just saying I wanted to see my first baby’s little face when she had her first “treat” food, im not inventing ice cream as a thing! Give your own head a wobble”.

Then you really need to look after your child yourself. Or pay someone else to do so and give them a list of what you consider to be milestones… YABVU

DD went to nursery 1 half day a week where she grabbed another child’s bottle of orange juice and had a good old glug…. Probably consumed other foods/beverages too.

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DayToNight · 07/04/2022 05:44

I think the issue here is more your MIL doing things without your consent/asking. I would hope that if it was a first I would have been asked beforehand, then I wouldn't feel so bothered about it.

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Sleepeatrepeat · 07/04/2022 05:46

For someone saying you arr ok to being told yabu you are seriously not taking on board what is being said to you @maloney123.

1- if you trust you mil to look after your dd one day every week even though you are on mat leave then stop micromanaging it. She has successfully raised your dp/dh so am fairly sure she has been through the weaning process before.
2 - BLW is not a crime it is actually far more healthy for baby than puree
3 - puree releases all the sugars from fruit and veg which is why most diet plans ban smooties as it makes thing ridiculously sweet and bad for you
3 - give it a few months and dd will be eating mud and christ knows what else.

Honestly I get the pub firsts thing but you need to get a grip or the next 18 years are gonna be hell for you

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phishy · 07/04/2022 05:48

her weaning journey

Do people actually talk like this in real life?

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KELLOGSspeck · 07/04/2022 05:56

Consequence of childcare I am afraid. The same would have happened if she was in nursery.

Excellent pont

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RoserParks · 07/04/2022 05:57

You have got to be kidding Grin

Op, trust me when I say... relaxxxxx.... as a parent of three dc, eating ice cream really isn't that cute. It's sticky, it gets everywhere (even when they're as old as nine), the one on the cone usually falls off cue the ice cream falling drama followed by having to trail alllll the way back to the ice cream stand, it's literally just frozen milk so technically you've already given her that, and if she takes a shine to it then it really is bloody expensive every time you're out Grin

Also, this arrangement with your mil might 'suit you both' now but as your dd grows and you add to your family , it will most certainly suit you more.

Keep the mil on board. Try a different flavour ice cream with dd at home. In fact, get four small bowls with four different flavoured ice cream and see which flavour ice cream she loves the most. This way you've had a cute moment with her too. Problem solved. Smile

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RoserParks · 07/04/2022 06:00

P.S huge supporter of BLW here also. All three of my dc will try anything and they have a wide range of preferences of foods because of this.

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KatherineJaneway · 07/04/2022 06:00

My advice to you would be don't post on AIBU if you clearly think you are not.

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Yellownightmare · 07/04/2022 06:01

You're being completely ridiculous, obviously. I hope your DH has made that clear.

I get the preference for no sweet things, but the first ice cream. Really?

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RedRobin100 · 07/04/2022 06:03

@phishy

her weaning journey

Do people actually talk like this in real life?

Yes 😞
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Justyouwaitandseeagain · 07/04/2022 06:13

OP - I get you. I have a picture of my eldest eating their 'first' ice cream with us. It was a special moment (on a lovely sunny day out) but knowing all four grandparents it is possible she'd had some before without my knowledge. As others say, try to let this one go. Let your in laws know specifically if there are anything other things you want to save to do with you. Otherwise just try to focus on the benefits of this relationship for you, your child and the grandparents. They want to 'make memories' too and whatever they do, doesn't make firsts with you any less special Flowers

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