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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MiL gave baby first ice cream

703 replies

maloney123 · 06/04/2022 23:48

Please let me preface this post by acknowledging that my in laws look after our baby once a week and I’m hugely grateful to them for this. They were desperate to be grandparents (this is their first grandchild) so the arrangement suits us both as they get time with the baby and I get time to catch up on laundry, cleaning etc (I am still on mat leave).

Today my MIL gave our baby her first taste of ice cream (DD is 9 months). I’m not so bothered about the sweet aspect (although we’re not giving her sweets, juice etc as yet) but I feel upset that we didn’t get to give her her first ice cream. I feel like this is a cute milestone moment for a baby and instead of being there I had my MIL describing to me how my daughter reacted to the taste. Previously she has also tried BLW my baby one day after we started weaning her which I was livid about, so we’ve already spoken to her and asked her not to give her new foods without checking in first.

I don’t mind MIL giving “normal” foods but I do feel like something like baby’s first ice cream is a bit special and I feel annoyed and upset that she took this moment away unnecessarily. I don’t think I’m going to say anything about it as I don’t want to appear ungrateful so I guess I’m just venting, feel free to tell me YABU!!

OP posts:
Didimum · 09/07/2024 15:18

To try BLW fair enough to get annoyed about. I think you are unreasonable to expect your MIL to know what you think are 'special foods'.

vodkaredbullgirl · 09/07/2024 15:20

Zombie post 2022

godmum56 · 09/07/2024 15:21

this was 2022, the child is in college now!

ForeveraBluebird · 09/07/2024 15:34

It sounds like you have a lovely relationship with your mother in law, nice that you’re all enjoying your first baby.
Dont worry too much about the icecream, I came home once to see my son covered from head to toe in sticky bright pink candy floss. Now that was a first to miss. My mil looked so happy and it’s a memory I treasure .

godmum56 · 09/07/2024 15:37

ForeveraBluebird · 09/07/2024 15:34

It sounds like you have a lovely relationship with your mother in law, nice that you’re all enjoying your first baby.
Dont worry too much about the icecream, I came home once to see my son covered from head to toe in sticky bright pink candy floss. Now that was a first to miss. My mil looked so happy and it’s a memory I treasure .

check the date.....

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/07/2024 15:37

ZOMBIE THREAD

Posted in 2022 - the child is 3 now.

ForeveraBluebird · 09/07/2024 15:38

Probably sick of icecream now then, onto the zoom lollies

godmum56 · 09/07/2024 15:39
i like turtles GIF

omg a zombie child

andthat · 09/07/2024 15:44

maloney123 · 07/04/2022 00:01

Let me rephrase I guess…she’s only had plain / sensible foods so far on her weaning journey. The sweetest thing she’s had is fruit. For me ice cream is different to avocado or or broccoli or something like that…I don’t know I just wanted to give her her first “treat” food I guess. If anyones seen Place Beyond the Pines there’s a really cute bit where the parents give the baby his first taste of ice cream. Thanks for responses anyway!

Did you expressly tell your MIL this? Does she know that you have a list of ‘normal’ foods she’s allowed to give your child?

Kindly OP, you are being a bit batshit and will hopefully look back on this and realise that!

vodkaredbullgirl · 09/07/2024 15:45

ZOMBIE POST

andthat · 09/07/2024 16:04

vodkaredbullgirl · 09/07/2024 15:45

ZOMBIE POST

Aggghhhh!!

Ethylred · 09/07/2024 16:19

Get a life.

Lunificent · 09/07/2024 17:32

People need to read between the lines. This is not just about ice cream. This MIL has form for making decisions without consulting the child’s parents e.g. doing baby les weaning. In the whole context the OP is right to be upset about the ice cream thing. MIL knew it was the first time as she described the child’s reaction. She knew what she was playing at.
OP - I agree with your concerns but as you’re getting free child care, you’ll need to suck some of this up.

vodkaredbullgirl · 09/07/2024 17:54

As this is over 2 years ago, we will never know.

Lizzy53 · 09/07/2024 18:53

Jackofallsorts · 13/04/2022 20:50

Why didn't you give your child their first ice cream? It's not like you didn't have the opportunity over the last 9 months

So agree she's being silly in my opinion

Bmh54 · 09/07/2024 19:26

Your overreacting !! ..!! Loads of milestones...lots of firsts...!!! My mum helped me with childminding and I remember collecting baby son , and being told about her & dad feeding him strawberries and ice-cream...and the face he made. I thought it was funny . I was just grateful they helped me out with childcare, and at the end of the day, it's their grandchild as much as its my son.
How posessive are you? & Controlling. ? Bet you like the free childcare but give away nothing for free yourself.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/07/2024 19:33

@Lunificent , @Bmh54 and @Lizzy53 - this thread was started in 2022!

The baby is three years old now.

Zombie thread.

Piggiesarecute · 09/07/2024 19:38

ferntwist · 06/04/2022 23:59

YABU. Very unfair on your MIL. If you want to have all the first experiences with your baby, look after her yourself all the time

This.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/07/2024 19:41

@Piggiesarecute - the comment you are replying to is, like the start of this thread, from 2022.

LostittoBostik · 09/07/2024 19:46

Yeah, you have to let go. Sorry. It's part of the deal when you hand them over. My parents do one day a fortnight and give my toddler chocolate than I'm happy with. I just try to handle it by reducing sugars the rest of the time

LostittoBostik · 09/07/2024 19:47

Oh ZOMBIE 🧟‍♀️

cazba26 · 10/07/2024 03:58

Who cares if it's a zombie thread? Just move on and forget about it if you're not interested.

wibblywobblywoo · 10/07/2024 04:16

maloney123 · 07/04/2022 00:01

Let me rephrase I guess…she’s only had plain / sensible foods so far on her weaning journey. The sweetest thing she’s had is fruit. For me ice cream is different to avocado or or broccoli or something like that…I don’t know I just wanted to give her her first “treat” food I guess. If anyones seen Place Beyond the Pines there’s a really cute bit where the parents give the baby his first taste of ice cream. Thanks for responses anyway!

"Let me rephrase it" in the hope that someone will agree with me......😂😂

FarmGirl78 · 10/07/2024 05:37

maloney123 · 07/04/2022 00:09

@Qwill

But you said “ I’m not so bothered about the sweet aspect”, that’s why we all have said you’re being silly.
Babe you can just apologise for making up a scenario about me it’s fine don’t worry x

From this reply your in-laws have my sympathy. It's going to be a long road.

godmum56 · 10/07/2024 09:15

FarmGirl78 · 10/07/2024 05:37

From this reply your in-laws have my sympathy. It's going to be a long road.

oh I wouldn't agonise, the child is at uni by now