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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Received perfume I didn't pay for ..aibu to keep it?

223 replies

rryyg · 01/03/2022 13:49

I ordered 2 make up bits from eBay.
They arrived and the next day a bottle of perfume came from the same seller (worth £100)
A week has passed and the seller has been messaging me asking me if I'm going to send the perfume back.
Then saying I can see you have it as it's been signed for (I didn't sign for it)
I paid by debit card
Can she do anything ?
Would you return it?

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 01/03/2022 16:19

@rryyg

I was planning on returning it It's just her attitude stank and she didn't even give me a chance to respond before she got nasty
Is that why you asked "Can she do anything ?" in your OP?
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 01/03/2022 16:20

@DidymusAmbrosius

It is ridiculously easy process to buy postage online and arrange royal mail to collect it from you - the collection itself costing about 60p.

Ask the seller to do that, for collection on X day.

Hand back parcel.

Job done and absolutely minimum disruption to you.

Exactly what I was going to say, @DidymusAmbrosius.

Please do this, @rryyg.

ExcuseeeeMe · 01/03/2022 16:21

@ifIwerenotanandroid

Seller may have difficulty sending you a return label because there won't be a record on ebay of a transaction involving you & this perfume, because you didn't buy it from her.

Remember that there's a real person on the other end of this. Message her via ebay, be nice & ask her how she's going to refund the postage. Perhaps she could do a PayPal payment once she's got the perfume back. Then don't mess about. Just send her back her £100 item.

And yes, you would be totally unreasonable to keep it. I don't know why you haven't sent it back already. It's a mistake. It's not yours to keep.

Why should OP be a penny out of pocket paying for postage upfront when she doesn’t know if the seller will send her a PayPal payment . The seller needs to pay upfront not refund OP after.
HW1989 · 01/03/2022 16:23

Her mistake and she should be nice about it, but you should send it back. I wouldn’t go out of my way to do so though or send it back without payment for the delivery. Get her to arrange a courier at her expense at a time which suits you.

BadgerStripes · 01/03/2022 16:23

@Yioeo

you are a thief
Hardly Hmm
alreadytaken · 01/03/2022 16:24

Not from ebay but I've had to return something recently after I received the same order twice. The vendor didnt realise until I notified them that they needed to either collect or send a reply paid label. They supplied a label, I sent it back.

Legally the sender has 28 days to collect or pay for it's return. If they are being nasty I would want a reply paid label or bank payment before sending back. If you dont send it back they could contact the police.

Original poster
rryyg · 01/03/2022 16:25

I haven't used it.
I haven't opened the seal.
It's a Chanel perfume
She sent me arsey messages straight away and she didn't message me for a week.
I replied straight away to her message

OP posts:
ifIwerenotanandroid · 01/03/2022 16:26

Excuse - it was only a suggestion. I was expecting the OP to get her act together & talk to the seller properly & work something out between them.

JeremyBeadlesTinyHand · 01/03/2022 16:27

Why didn't you message her when it arrived? Just message her saying you are happy to send it back and ask her for a prepaid label for the company of your choice (eg let her know if the Hermes office isn't within dropping off distance).

catscatscatseverywhere · 01/03/2022 16:28

@rryyg

I was planning on returning it It's just her attitude stank and she didn't even give me a chance to respond before she got nasty
Well, she kept messaging you as you said, so with no response from you, she was totally right to get nasty.
ifIwerenotanandroid · 01/03/2022 16:28

@rryyg

I haven't used it. I haven't opened the seal. It's a Chanel perfume She sent me arsey messages straight away and she didn't message me for a week. I replied straight away to her message
You mean after a week she sent you 'arsey messages'?

What did you reply?

slimshady18 · 01/03/2022 16:29

@Jvg33

People are obsessed with saying the op is a thief. Op took in another parcel, it was addressed to them and opened it. That's called opening the mail. Op wouldn't have known what it was. Not quite being a thief is it?
But she has kept it for a week, so they are being unreasonable.
RestingMurderousFace · 01/03/2022 16:30

People like you are the reason I no longer sell on eBay.

Sapphireskies · 01/03/2022 16:33

I would be quite annoyed. It's not that easy to package a perfume and send it out, why did it happen ? It's super odd. She should also have some manners and organise the return. It's not your fault OP.

Ilostit · 01/03/2022 16:33

What!!! Yes you return it!! Thief

skyeisthelimit · 01/03/2022 16:33

You should return it, but obviously they should pay for it as it was their mistake and nothing to do with you. So they should send you a postage label or paypal you the money so that you can send it back to them.

GatoradeMeBitch · 01/03/2022 16:34

Ask her to send a courier, they can take it on to the right address. I'd tell her she can have it back but at minimal inconvenience to you, seeing as it was her mistake. You shouldn't have to go to the post office. And if she wants you to pay her postage she's ridiculous.

mugoftea456 · 01/03/2022 16:34

Seller should provide you with postage. Don't be a dick - send it back.

RosiePosieDozy · 01/03/2022 16:35

You definitely need to return it. The seller needs to send you the money for the postage and ideally arrange for the collection as a pp mentioned. Tell her once she has sent the postage money or arranged for the royal mail collection, you will send it back to her.

You probably should have responded to her sooner but life happens. Just because she made a mistake and sent you the wrong parcel doesn't mean that your whole life stops. To her, maybe your phone had broken, maybe you were on holiday with no WiFi. It's really out of order IMO for her to get arsey. It's her mistake and you can send it back.

affairsofdragons · 01/03/2022 16:36

@rryyg

What if she won't pay the postage costs of me sending it back ?
Then tell her she can collect in person or send a courier; it's her mistake, she'll need to pay the shipping costs up front.
jytdtysrht · 01/03/2022 16:38

Of course you should return it. Would you want someone to keep something belonging to you that they received in error?

WisherWood · 01/03/2022 16:38

She sent me arsey messages straight away and she didn't message me for a week.

So she sent the perfume out, presumably thinking she'd sent it to the right address. Buyer contacted her to say it hadn't arrived. She'd have had to wait a week to give the delivery service time to get it to the buyer. Alternatively, assuming something sold for £100 was tracked, she looked up where it had gone. Found out it had gone to you and that for an entire week you'd kept quiet.

I mean at that stage, getting the hump with you isn't helpful, but I can see where she's coming from. It's an expensive mistake to make and stressful if you realise your mistake is compounded by someone being a bit of an arsehole and keeping hold of something that isn't theirs.

I'd just send it back at her cost and her inconvenience. I don't want a £100 bottle of perfume and my conscience wouldn't really allow me to enjoy it.

AnnesBrokenSlate · 01/03/2022 16:39

She sent you lots of arsey messages.
She didn't reply.

One of these things is not like the other. It can't be both.

Send back the perfume. Otherwise you're a thief. And just pay the bloody postage since you've let this drag on for a week and had the seller worrying about where it is.

violet232 · 01/03/2022 16:40

I feel more for the intended recipient. Poor person has been waiting a long time for what they purchased because of this faff. It could of been a birthday present or some sorts. It sucks the seller is arsey OP but please send it back! Shock

GatoradeMeBitch · 01/03/2022 16:41

One of these things is not like the other. It can't be both.

She probably offloaded on the OP when she discovered her mistake, then decided OP would just gloat about keeping it so is ignoring her. She doesn't sound very bright.

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