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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Received perfume I didn't pay for ..aibu to keep it?

223 replies

rryyg · 01/03/2022 13:49

I ordered 2 make up bits from eBay.
They arrived and the next day a bottle of perfume came from the same seller (worth £100)
A week has passed and the seller has been messaging me asking me if I'm going to send the perfume back.
Then saying I can see you have it as it's been signed for (I didn't sign for it)
I paid by debit card
Can she do anything ?
Would you return it?

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 01/03/2022 14:57

She made a stupid and costly mistake, and it apparently took her a week to realize it.

No, OP has been ignoring her for a week.

LetHimHaveIt · 01/03/2022 14:59

I know what the law says, thanks (LLB Hons 2001; LLM 2004; College of Law (Bloomsbury).

AT THIS TIME, OP is not a thief - she has simply yet to return an item sent to her in error. If the seller thinks otherwise, she's welcome to call the police, and pass on OPs details. See how that works out for her.

Clearly, OP needs to send it back/allow it to be picked up. But people also need to stop wringing their hands over a hypothetical plucky small business owner who needs that £100 to put food in the table. She fucked up and yet appears not to have accepted it as her mistake. Still; there's a lot of it about.

ExcuseeeeMe · 01/03/2022 15:01

If you are needing to stand at the post office to return make sure she pays you for your time as well .

1forAll74 · 01/03/2022 15:01

I wouldn't want to pay postage to send it back, I would probably keep it, You wouldn't be stealing it as such, the person should be more careful when sending goods if she is running a business, and not make mistakes.

LetHimHaveIt · 01/03/2022 15:03

@girlmom21

She made a stupid and costly mistake, and it apparently took her a week to realize it.

No, OP has been ignoring her for a week.

Actually, it doesn't say that either. It says a week has passed. It doesn't say she's been messaging her all that time, or indeed that OP has been ignoring her all that time. If she has, then I'd agree that's a bit shitty.
girlmom21 · 01/03/2022 15:04

@LetHimHaveIt she said a week has passed and the sender has been messaging.

She said the sender started sending nasty messages before OP had responded.

It doesn't take a genius.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 01/03/2022 15:05

@Georgeskitchen

Tell them you want postage paying in advance. Then you will return it . Its not up to you to incur extra costs. It was the sellers mistake
This and it would be done at my convenience. I wouldn't be making a special journey to the Post Office.
DazedandConfused3 · 01/03/2022 15:06

@LetHimHaveIt

I know what the law says, thanks (LLB Hons 2001; LLM 2004; College of Law (Bloomsbury).

AT THIS TIME, OP is not a thief - she has simply yet to return an item sent to her in error. If the seller thinks otherwise, she's welcome to call the police, and pass on OPs details. See how that works out for her.

Clearly, OP needs to send it back/allow it to be picked up. But people also need to stop wringing their hands over a hypothetical plucky small business owner who needs that £100 to put food in the table. She fucked up and yet appears not to have accepted it as her mistake. Still; there's a lot of it about.

Are you suggesting that she was not ‘intending to permanently deprive’ ……. If you re-read my second post you will note the use of the word IF

And while I am of course very impressed with your legal education, I would like to point out that you are not unique in that.

LetHimHaveIt · 01/03/2022 15:06

'She said the sender started sending nasty messages before OP had responded.'

Again - no. She said the sender has sent nasty messages before she had had the chance to respond.

girlmom21 · 01/03/2022 15:08

@LetHimHaveIt

'She said the sender started sending nasty messages before OP had responded.'

Again - no. She said the sender has sent nasty messages before she had had the chance to respond.

Oh come on - you know exactly what that means. Stop pretending that you believe the OP is completely innocent here.

Any honest person would have messaged the sender straight away. OP has had long enough to research the cost of the perfume and long enough to post on Mumsnet but is far too busy to respond to the sender? Nonsense.

JellybabyGina87 · 01/03/2022 15:09

As a business seller she should accept the loss as it's her mistake. Morally you should return it but she needs to pay the return and realise you're being inconvenienced for her mistake. I'd ask her to send a courier to collect.

luckylavender · 01/03/2022 15:09

YABU. Send it back. It's theft.

MintyFreshBreath · 01/03/2022 15:10

Are you on here expecting people to tell you to keep the perfume just so you can justify it to yourself? If so then, don’t bother as I think you’re being a twat. Just ask them to pay postage 🤷‍♀️ How gutted would you be if things were reversed?

DidymusAmbrosius · 01/03/2022 15:11

It is ridiculously easy process to buy postage online and arrange royal mail to collect it from you - the collection itself costing about 60p.

Ask the seller to do that, for collection on X day.

Hand back parcel.

Job done and absolutely minimum disruption to you.

Yioeo · 01/03/2022 15:11

@LetHimHaveIt

I know what the law says, thanks (LLB Hons 2001; LLM 2004; College of Law (Bloomsbury).

AT THIS TIME, OP is not a thief - she has simply yet to return an item sent to her in error. If the seller thinks otherwise, she's welcome to call the police, and pass on OPs details. See how that works out for her.

Clearly, OP needs to send it back/allow it to be picked up. But people also need to stop wringing their hands over a hypothetical plucky small business owner who needs that £100 to put food in the table. She fucked up and yet appears not to have accepted it as her mistake. Still; there's a lot of it about.

There are literally hundreds of women who are lawyers on MN and I have never seen anyone posting their thanks to whatever school they went to. So weird Confused
YforWanky · 01/03/2022 15:11

Tell the seller to email you a prepaid return label, and then when that comes, print it out and return it. Simple.

If you don't have a printer the seller should be able to arrange a paperless return via Royal Mail, where you just take a QR code on your phone to the post office for them to scan and they print the label for you.

UKRAINEwearewithyou · 01/03/2022 15:12

You are stealing from another person. She knows you have the perfume. Why wouldn't you return it?

Odd.

Drinkingallthewine · 01/03/2022 15:12

You better return it op, I don't think you are cut out for a life of crime given your fibs are all over the place.

nearlyspringyay · 01/03/2022 15:13

I'd return but they need to sort a courier / P&P. Going to the post office can take an hour out of my day at lunch time. Their mistake they need to fix it.

LetHimHaveIt · 01/03/2022 15:13

'Are you suggesting that she was not ‘intending to permanently deprive’ …….
If you re-read my second post you will note the use of the word IF

And while I am of course very impressed with your legal education, I would like to point out that you are not unique in that.'

  1. I am indeed suggesting the 'intention to permanently deprive' element hasn't been met. I'm frankly not really sure 'unlawful appropriation' has been met as I wouldn't have said OP has assumed the behaviours of/conducted herself as, the owner.

  2. I wouldn't be impressed by it. It's not all that impressive.

  3. Yes - I didn't think I was alone in having a law degree and going to law school.

Mrsmadevans · 01/03/2022 15:13

Won't you feel guilty if you keep it? .

Mrsmadevans · 01/03/2022 15:15

Ask them to send you a prepaid parcel envelope.

bubblesbubbles11 · 01/03/2022 15:16

you should return it but they should pay the p&p and at least apologise for your inconvenience.
It may be that behind the scenes she has got into trouble at work for making this mistake and that is why she is being prickly

WiddlinDiddlin · 01/03/2022 15:16

Why be an arse about it - she's looked for the signature ( you haven't signed but if it was sent signed for, the delivery person has, thats been a thing all through the pandemic) and seen it has been delivered, and had to ask you about it...

Ask for a returns label and to cover the cost of postal pick up. Send it back. Simple.

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