Restaurant ordering etiquette

[McPancreas]

My DP when ordering at a restaurant tells the waiter her starter, mains and drinks in one hit. I find this odd as my experience has always been to go round the table doing everyone's starters and then all the mains etc.

TBH I find it slightly rude to go through your whole order whilst everyone waits and also it makes more sense (to me) from the servers perspective to get different parts of the order together but she is adamant that's how it should be done!

So AIBU to feel she is doing it wrong? Any thoughts from people in hospitality especially welcome!

I don't think there is a wrong or right way TBH.

Agree with her, otherwise it’s three times round the table for the wait staff. Silly! Easier to say, I’ll have the soup, salmon and a glass of Chardonnay

I waitressed for many years through uni, it's a lot easier to get the whole order from each person then be doing 3 round Robins as it takes too long and people dither more.

It's each to their own but it's definitely not rude to do as your DP says and usually makes it quicker for waiting staff.

I take my lead from the waiting staff.

Generally I think it's drinks order first, then one or the other way you've described.

I don't think it's rude to do it her way unless she bullishly insisting her order is taken this way when no one else's is.

I would always do it your DP’s way. Except we would often order drinks while reading the menu.

I'm with your dp. If it's a large table the waiter/waitress has to go around the table twice instead of once. Much less efficient.

I think your way is weird! Ive never been out with a group who did that, always everyone orders everything when it is their go. And speaking as a former waitress your way would drive me insane.

We normally have a drinks order done first independently of the food order
Then we do starters and mains for each person
You dont go round the table twice to do starters and then the mains

I do it the way she does, all in one go. Why would they go round three times?
When I used to waitress that is how most people ordered. If such a small thing is irritating to you maybe look closer at your relationship

I usually do it how your DM does it. Normally the waiter might take a drinks order first while people are choosing. Then you give starter and main before they move to the next person.

Definitely order starter and mains at the same time, much more efficient.

Ordering drinks is a bit more variable, sometimes people are ordering for themselves, sometimes you’re getting bottles of wine for the table etc. so no clear rules on that.

I take my lead from the waiter. In some restaurants the drinks and food are ordered separately.

I've always ordered starters and main at the same time per person

Usually the waiting staff let you know. Depends on their system.

@McPancreas

My DP when ordering at a restaurant tells the waiter her starter, mains and drinks in one hit. I find this odd as my experience has always been to go round the table doing everyone's starters and then all the mains etc.

TBH I find it slightly rude to go through your whole order whilst everyone waits and also it makes more sense (to me) from the servers perspective to get different parts of the order together but she is adamant that's how it should be done!

So AIBU to feel she is doing it wrong? Any thoughts from people in hospitality especially welcome!

You are the one doing it wrong.

It’s not rude at all.

all in one go like your DH. Except when sharing a bottle and not ordering individual drinks, then would to this after everyone has ordered their food.

@Maunderingdrunkenly

Agree with her, otherwise it’s three times round the table for the wait staff. Silly! Easier to say, I’ll have the soup, salmon and a glass of Chardonnay

Exactly. The waiting staff don't want to have to go round everyone 3 times.

Most places ask if you want a drink while perusing the menu. Then usually we each give starter and main course in a 'one-er'. Menu is usually returned for dessert after main course as you might be full and not want a pudding (unlikely in my case!!) and order tea/coffee etc. So I'm with DP.

It certainly isn't a big or serious thing, just different from how I've done it growing up!

Thanks for the feedback, I shall get back in my box!

I can't vote as IME it seems to depend on the restaurant. Posher places seem to go round the table asking (women first) for starter orders,, then round again for mains, then take dessert orders after the main course.
Sometimes they take both starters and mains in one.
The exception to this, even in the posh eateries, is if your dessert needs longer preparation (a hot soufflé, for example. ) If you want that then you might be asked to order it with the main course. It generally states this on the menu
More casual places may take the whole order in one go. Or if that's how the customer wants to do it. I don't feel it's necessarily rude.

You're wrong. It's much easier to take everyone's full order. Otherwise you're going round the table multiple times.

Drinks order first then order my starter and main course unless the waiter/waitress has indicated for the next person to order their starter but it's usually order both together

Never really thought much about it, but I would day I generally take my cue from the staff. If they start with "What can I get you to drink?" or ""Are you having starters?" then I would just answer that question. If they ask "What would you like to order?" I'd give the whole order.
I would think if they want it in a specific way the server would say so. In fact I was in a restaurant recently where they used ipads to take the orders and when I asked for my drink with my main the waiter did say he'd prefer to take all the food orders first and do the drinks afterwards if we didn't mind. Presumably that just saved him from having to flip back and forth between screens and it was no problem for us. I don't think there is a right or wrong way - just as long as you're polite.

Ordering starter and main at once is standard, in my experience. Usually drinks would be done before looking at the menu unless ordering wine by the bottle, which you can't do until you know what food people are having.

Drinks reading the menu, then all starters, mains and deserts. Wine order if wanted.