Restaurant ordering etiquette

[McPancreas]

My DP when ordering at a restaurant tells the waiter her starter, mains and drinks in one hit. I find this odd as my experience has always been to go round the table doing everyone's starters and then all the mains etc.

TBH I find it slightly rude to go through your whole order whilst everyone waits and also it makes more sense (to me) from the servers perspective to get different parts of the order together but she is adamant that's how it should be done!

So AIBU to feel she is doing it wrong? Any thoughts from people in hospitality especially welcome!

Do it all in one go apart from pudding (generally decide / order that after I’ve eaten). I’ve never seen anyone do it your way.

I always order starters and main together. I often don't know if I will want desert until after I've had my main course.

What I find infuriating is the serving staff asking for the drinks order when I've barely had a chance to look at the menu. I obviously can't decide on the wine until I know what food I'm having as the two go together!

I think children were an exception though

Back to my example, dinner was for the grown ups at about 7 or 8pm. Children would have high tea at 5pm :)

Pre-dinner drinks and nibbles would be in the lounge, but water (and bottles of wine if ordered) would be on the table in the dining room. There was no need to finish your bottle of wine, it would reappear the following night after being looked after by the butler.

I order starter and main at the same time. Dessert separately just in case I'm too full to eat it (rare)

And earlier I referred to "dessert". I should, of course, have said "pudding".

Pudding being the sweet course. Desserts refer only to puddings made with fruit.

Say what?

@Febrier

Pudding being the sweet course. Desserts refer only to puddings made with fruit.

Whaaaat?

Only people in the UK call Dessert Pudding (unless it's an actual pudding)

Pudding is the correct term for the final course (they are generally served with the cheese board). Desserts are a fruit-based pudding (or how the middle classes refer to puddings). The lower classes would say something like "afters" or a more localised term.

Only people in the UK call Dessert Pudding (unless it's an actual pudding) Well yes, I'm referring to an archaic style.

Dessert is more widely understood as the sweet course at the end of the meal, and less colloquial. It doesn't have to contain fruit. Pudding can mean the same, but also means an actual pudding, such as those made from suet or rice, so there is more room for confusion.

Starter and main at the same time is fine, not pudding though. Also, if you're the only person who wants a starter, skip it or have it as a main or everyone has to wait for you.

Oh dear, I wrote my comment before I saw there was a discussion about the word pudding.
I chose it because I get mixed up with the spelling of the other one.

"What I find infuriating is the serving staff asking for the drinks order when I've barely had a chance to look at the menu. I obviously can't decide on the wine until I know what food I'm having as the two go together!"

They're asking about the aperitif or what you will have straight away before starting the meal, surely.

I do often refer to pudding rather than dessert, but only at home. If I were offered a 'pudding menu' I'd expect it to be full of steamed suety delights.

'Dessert menu' is the norm I would say.

I thought pudding/dessert was regional.

When I waitressed as a student, this generally depended on the size of the table. For a small group when you had everyone's attention , it was easier to take drinks, then starters then mains - keeps them all involved. For a bigger group - when there's often side conversations going on while you take the order, it's much easier to take a full order from each person, freeing them up to continue their conversation with the people beside them.

Whole order in one go. I used to waitress when I was younger and don't think I remember anyone ordering your way!

@MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake I agree.

Worked in hospitality and as other posters have said, this can be guided by the server. Unless they say starters for everyone first (usually it being a large group), I wouldn’t think to order parts of the meal separately. They still have to put it into the til regardless of the ways it’s ordered.

@Febrier

Pudding being the sweet course. Desserts refer only to puddings made with fruit.

Formally, and traditionally, dessert comes after pudding -- a separate course of fruit, dried fruit, nuts, dessert wine. At an Oxford High Table, for instance, you will eat pudding (tart, syllabub, actual pudding, whatever), then file out to another room for dessert, which will be spread out on a table, along with madeira, port, sometimes snuff. (My college had a snuff bequest. It is still a revolting habit.)

See also the art of eating fruit with a knife and fork.

Drinks orders should always be taken first in most restaurants. Desserts shouldn't be ordered until after the mains have been cleared.

anything else, I would go with how the wait staff wanted to take the order, or if they don't prompt order starter and main together.

Take your line from the waitperson. Some restaurants ask for the dessert orders at the start because they make them freshly. Some waitpersons have WiFi pads connected to the kitchen to get your order started quickly. (Sorry about 'waitperson' but I prefer it to 'waitron').

I sometimes have a pudding after my tea (northerner)

@iklboo I'm so common that it was a "What are you having for your sweet?" when I was little.