Restaurant ordering etiquette

[McPancreas]

My DP when ordering at a restaurant tells the waiter her starter, mains and drinks in one hit. I find this odd as my experience has always been to go round the table doing everyone's starters and then all the mains etc.

TBH I find it slightly rude to go through your whole order whilst everyone waits and also it makes more sense (to me) from the servers perspective to get different parts of the order together but she is adamant that's how it should be done!

So AIBU to feel she is doing it wrong? Any thoughts from people in hospitality especially welcome!

Starters and mains ordered together here. Most friends I've gone out for lunch / dinner with have done the same. Drinks are usually asked about earlier, but if I hadn't already ordered drinks would do that at the same time.

I do it your DP's way. I've no idea why anyone would find that rude.

I don't think there is really a right or a wrong way, but surely it is less confusing to take one person's entire order all at once!? Going round and round the table multiple times would get muddling, surely.

The only time all starters, then all mains would be ordered is I think when there's a big group, perhaps with one of those limited menu deals. So it's sort of "right, how many of the pates and how many of the mussels?" then "who's chicken, whose beef?" etc.

I also think you are over egging it by saying you think it's "rude". It's quite a strong word for something that might be done slightly different to you.

Huh?

Often drinks are ordered early so you can sip while deciding. First couple of courses are ordered together, person by person. Then you decide later if you need another course.

I have literally never heard of anyone ordering the way you suggest, in any kind of restaurant or dining. It sounds laborious and must take 5 times as long. Getting your order in before someone else doesn't change timings so why would this be useful?

Have you ever seen what you describe?

You’re the one being the oddity, OP. Only usual variables are about ordering drinks, depending on whether everyone is sharing a bottle or bottles of wine, and/or ordering separately by the glass, and/or having an aperitif before ordering or while waiting for another diner.

Your dp is right. And I answer both as a customer and as a former waitress.

I obviously haven't been anywhere really posh! Never in my many, many years on this planet have I ordered one course at a time. What a waste of everyone's time!!!
The only exception is dessert, which is usually ordered after mains - I guess the reason being that you don't know if you are still hungry enough for dessert before you start eating. I very rarely have it.

Usually starters and main and move on to the next person. Drinks normally separately unless asked. But the server might indicate they want a different method.

My pet cringe is in a large party when someone almost inevitably orders their dessert at the same time!! Just not the done thing!!!

@WheresYourSnickers

I obviously haven't been anywhere really posh! Never in my many, many years on this planet have I ordered one course at a time. What a waste of everyone's time!!! The only exception is dessert, which is usually ordered after mains - I guess the reason being that you don't know if you are still hungry enough for dessert before you start eating. I very rarely have it.

I mean dessert is usually ordered after you have eaten your mains!

We order drinks and then I usually say to the server would they like just starters first or prefer everyone’s order at once?

Starter and main together. I've waitressaed a lot and never have I taken mains seperate to starters. Bit odd if someone orders pudding though at the same time unless its souffle

@WheresYourSnickers

I obviously haven't been anywhere really posh! Never in my many, many years on this planet have I ordered one course at a time. What a waste of everyone's time!!! The only exception is dessert, which is usually ordered after mains - I guess the reason being that you don't know if you are still hungry enough for dessert before you start eating. I very rarely have it.

I’ve eaten at my fair share of high-end starred, hyper-formal places, and the norm is still to say ‘The soup, then the soufflé’’ or whatever.

Generally drinks are ordered first, while still deciding on food I think.

But then when starters and mains are ordered, I think it makes sense for each person to say “I’ll have x to start, and then y, please.” That’s how I’ve always done it.

Never known it done your way OP, having eaten out in many places over the years and worked as a waitress.

Initial drinks.

Starter/main

Wine list wine when you know what people’s mains are in case they want a particular wine

Dessert and or coffee

Sometimes you order drinks and a starter and the server gets those going and comes back for the mains later once you have a chance to look over the menu. That would be the only time to separate them.

Depending on the speed of the service I’d say drinks first, then starters/mains/desserts in one go. Unless they’ve taken their time getting to your table in which I’d order the drinks and all the food in one go as id have had time to decide the lot

as a ex waitress 1 person orders at a time whether main or starter. otherwise we would have to go round the table multiple times.

@McPancreas

My DP when ordering at a restaurant tells the waiter her starter, mains and drinks in one hit. I find this odd as my experience has always been to go round the table doing everyone's starters and then all the mains etc.

TBH I find it slightly rude to go through your whole order whilst everyone waits and also it makes more sense (to me) from the servers perspective to get different parts of the order together but she is adamant that's how it should be done!

So AIBU to feel she is doing it wrong? Any thoughts from people in hospitality especially welcome!

Yabu. Very unreasonable

Doesn't it go:

Drinks when seated
Waiter: "are you ready for food?"
"Yes, I'll have x starter and then the x for main, and another glass of x"
Then add any shared sides etc for the table when everyone has given their orders.

I order in one hit

I was a waitress for 15 years. I always took orders this way.

YABU, sounds too faffy.

We tend to order drinks shortly after being seated and we'll look through the menu. When the drinks arrive, we'll place our orders "I'll have scallops to start, and the steak for main please".

Whenever I’ve been to a restaurant, we tend to order drinks as soon as we sit at the table, and then when the waiter comes over, we each order our starter and main course at the same time. So, for example, I would say, ‘I’ll have the soup to start and then the chicken’.

@TheSoapyFrog same!