Restaurant ordering etiquette

[McPancreas]

My DP when ordering at a restaurant tells the waiter her starter, mains and drinks in one hit. I find this odd as my experience has always been to go round the table doing everyone's starters and then all the mains etc.

TBH I find it slightly rude to go through your whole order whilst everyone waits and also it makes more sense (to me) from the servers perspective to get different parts of the order together but she is adamant that's how it should be done!

So AIBU to feel she is doing it wrong? Any thoughts from people in hospitality especially welcome!

Never in my life have I ever been for a meal with anyone who does it your way. Each person orders their food in turn, and traditional etiquette is ladies first, starting with the oldest (if that’s evident).

Of course it’s pudding.

The description given of Oxford High tables is pretty much the ultra-correct order, structure and name of the courses for a formal dinner in a private home as well.

No every restaurant I go to takes them starter, main and drink in one go, what’s the point going around the table 3 times

@LaChanticleer

Of course it’s pudding.

The description given of Oxford High tables is pretty much the ultra-correct order, structure and name of the courses for a formal dinner in a private home as well.

What a rigid way to live one's life. Adhering to a supposed 'ultra-correct order'.

What do you mean, @Classica — no Latin grace, no procession of dons, no turning to your other neighbour when the courses change, no snuff bequest? Tsk.

@BloodyForeland

What do you mean, *@Classica* — no Latin grace, no procession of dons, no turning to your other neighbour when the courses change, no snuff bequest? Tsk.

Just a casual Friday night at my house!

On special occasions I arrange for there to be a good murder too, a body flung from a great height into the quad, for that extra bit of ambience.

That reminds me, I saw snuff for sale recently in a newsagents. Didn't think anyone had taken any snuff since the early days of the 20th century.

I can't believe this is even a subject for discussion on Mumsnet..

@Classica

That reminds me, I saw snuff for sale recently in a newsagents. Didn't think anyone had taken any snuff since the early days of the 20th century.

I thought it only existed in some nebulous world of High Tables. Would Peter Wimsey approve, though?

@Classica

In America pudding refers to a specific custardy chocolate type dessert.

It doesn't have to be chocolate.

Seneca Falls -- I am Scots as well and we always said pudding. According to Nancy Mitford, I think,. It was incorrect to call the pudding, "dessert" thus betraying your non U origins. I think restaurants brought this habit in by circulating " dessert trollies". There were a lot of non U pitfalls to avoid. Unless you were raised in the Upper Classes, you would be bound to get something wrong. Everyone knows that dinner is eaten in the middle of the day by the lower, working classes, who started very early on strenuous Labour and need a main meal by then. The U class moved dinner from early afternoon to mid evening over the nineteenth century. This invented afternoon tea for Upper people who got too hungry to wait until 20.00.
In parts of England ( non U) tea became high tea, ith a main cooked dish followed by baked goods such as scones and cake. This was known as normal in Scotland and Northern Ireland eaten around 18.00 hours when the men came home from work. As getting home at midday for dinner became les and less common, packed meals became the norm.

But the best "pudding" is a dessert specific to the Southern US, called banana pudding. It's actually a type of trifle: vanilla wafers or sometimes shortbread cookies, layered with bananas and soft vanilla custard, topped with whipped cream or meringue. Highly recommended.

I haven’t had one in years. My grandparents were from the South before they moved North and that was a staple in the spring and summertime. Just waiting for it to be ready was torture because if you weren’t quick enough or there, you weren’t likely to get any. We have a family recipe for it that I will now need to locate. Thanks for reminding me. :-)

I do it in one hit

Drinks then do starter and main together but take lead from waiter.

This thread is very funny, I mean, who cares? Just follow the lead of the server taking the order and all will be well.
As for arguing about what pudding... dessert etc are - really? For example -

Pudding is NOT dessert. dessert is usually fruit eaten after the pudding to refresh your mouth. Served before coffee and Port (for men) and petit fours.

I think that's called a palate cleanser. The dictionary definition of dessert makes no mention of this.

I would say:
Normally- each order a drink, get your drinks.
Then order food - each person orders starter and main course.
I think if everyone ordered drinks, then everyone ordered starter, then everyone ordered main c, waiter would get confused.

Drinks usually while reading the menu. Then one person starter and main around the table. Dessert menu after mains are finished. That's the way it should be done. So you are wrong.

So I worked in pubs and restaurants and generally I prefer if the customers tells me everything at the same time (as your DP does). It saves so much time for everyone - for me, I don’t have to ask every single person at the table separately 3x and trying to get their attention several times (especially if bigger group and everyone chatting and ignoring the waitress) and it also disturbs the customers less as they want to chat and catch up, not to be asked several times various questions when it could’ve been done at once.
If it only a couple for dinner, then it doesn’t really matter but still, I like customers who order everything at the same time the first time I go to the table as it is really difficult to judge when they are ready to order later.. and it’s really annoying having to go there several time and them still not being ready the fourth time i go there…

She's right. Your way is odd! Never seen this before.

Why on earth would you do one course at a time? Its meal ordering, not a team bonding session

I have never in my whole life ordered a meal in the way you describe, or want, and I am 72!
Usually one orders drinks first, and then peruses the menu. The waiter takes the order of the starter and the mains course from each person.
Some waiters say "ladies first" and others go around the table.

Wow what a response! Only just come back to this after a few days away.

A little update, DW and I went out for dinner and she brought up the ordering thing, I duly informed her I had been throughly schooled on the matter by mumsnet, she looked the post up and thought it was hilarious.

The post was intended to be more light hearted than it came across and for all the pious who assumed I was a terrible person for judging or daring to think about something else other than Ukraine I'm deeply sorry.

To everyone else cheers for giving my wife a good laugh!