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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If a girl used the term wee wee...

215 replies

ldontWanna · 03/02/2022 22:12

To refer to her vulva or vagina would you know what it means? Even if you didn't in the moment, would it click later?

YABU - no idea what she'd be on about.

YANBU - i would know/it's an easy connection to make.

OP posts:
Frlrlrubert · 03/02/2022 23:35

'My wee wee hurts' I'd suspect UTI
'Bob touched my wee wee' It would click

DD (5) says vulva (I know, only on mumsnet, but that's what her cousin says because SIL is super woke, she also does drawings where 'this one is a girl, this one is a boy, and this one is non-binary', I honestly am not shitting you)

PPs have got me thinking though. We do use 'tummy' for the general area. Abdomen is quite tricky to say, though DD could manage that now I think, and stomach is too specific, what if it's actually her liver that hurts? We say bum/bottom for that general area as well, as in 'fell on my bottom' because 'gluteus maximum' is a bit much for a small child, and she didn't fall on her anus. Vulva covers the general area, and is no harder to say than fanny or mini or foofoo.

Frlrlrubert · 03/02/2022 23:40

@PurpleDaisies

I agree 'tummy button' is awful. We do say 'belly button', would you prefer 'navel' or go straight to 'unbilicus'?

Monopolyiscrap · 03/02/2022 23:42

I too would assume that my wee wee hurts means a uti.

Ionlydomassiveones · 03/02/2022 23:42

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Ionlydomassiveones · 03/02/2022 23:43

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

NoJaffaCakesAreKeptInThisVan · 03/02/2022 23:48

To avoid any confusion, why not just use the correct words in the first place? 🤷🏻‍♀️

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 03/02/2022 23:54

This is so intensely annoying, if a little boy refers to his 'willy' no-one is in any doubt about what he means.

What's the female equivalent?

There isn't one so we are left with pussy/fanny/ daisy/minnie etc all of which are either unnacceptable or unclear.

So, it's a bit clinical, but it has to be vulva.

It's the same for adult women.

What's the equivalent of bloke/chap/guy?

BeatieBourke · 04/02/2022 00:05

As an adult woman it's pretty important in, for example, the menopause clinic, for me to distinguish vulva pain, vagina pain and urethra pain. I'd rather I learned this as a kid than in my mid 30s, when medical, birth and sexual trauma made the differential important.

I see no reason why it's not this simple. It's just naming body parts. The only complicating factor is the social construction of shame.

OfstedOffred · 04/02/2022 00:07

I'd associate it with urine.

I know its currently fashionable to teach children "vulva" but I think you children arent specific enough about where something hurts etc and are more likely to say "between my legs" or "my bum" for the general area. As an adult crotch/groin covers it. I don't use the latin terms for my other body parts either.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 04/02/2022 00:07

There isn't one so we are left with pussy/fanny/ daisy/minnie etc all of which are either unnacceptable or unclear.

No less clear than willy.

And I'm sorry, but anyone who can't work out what a child is referring to in a conversation is bloody stupid.

Meatshake · 04/02/2022 00:09

[quote esloquehay]@HelloFrostyMorning, my 4 year old daughters call their vulvas their vulva.
You know why?
Because as a child I was subjected to sexual abuse, didn't have the vocabulary to say what had been done to me (because anything 'down there' was somehow dirty and shameful in the house I was dragged up in).
So my daughters know the words to all their body parts.[/quote]
This so much, and exactly words due to exactly vthe same reason in my house. Penis, vagina, vulva. Easily understood, impossible to misinterpret.

margegunderson · 04/02/2022 00:11

Ok perhaps we can work out what Minnie means - but why is that preferable to vulva? The kids don't care but it's much clearer and IT'S NOT A RUDE WORD. Where is the problem with using the unambiguous clear terminology here?

OfstedOffred · 04/02/2022 00:11

I live in a very middle class area and I can honestly say I don't know one person who has taught their child to say vulva. I never knew it was a thing until I came on Mumsnet.

Same. I think maybe people do it betwixt the commons.

OfstedOffred · 04/02/2022 00:14

It's not clearer. I'm 36 and I dont really know what vulva refers to!

Vagina/birth canal - clear on this.
Urethra - got it.
Labia & clit, fine.
Not sure I've got any other bits needing a name? Confused

NewtoHolland · 04/02/2022 00:16

UTIs are fairly common, buy it's not because of that it's because it would be using the usual kids name for urine. Just like if a kid said my poo pop Herts I would think they were constipated or had the runs, not really that they were talking about their anus.
My girls call their front parts Yoni, it isn't widely used but it isn't as ambiguous as some terms as it is a real word that does mean what it is. My eldest does know the word Vulva but my youngest doesnt.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 04/02/2022 00:25

Ok perhaps we can work out what Minnie means - but why is that preferable to vulva?

It's not. But this horror that some MNers seem to have is unnecessary.

Some kids are just not taught any word for it, they make up a word themselves. Then they pick up other words from school.

People use slang for loads of shit and probably don't even realise it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Cherryblossoms85 · 04/02/2022 00:31

I just call them my bits. I'm terrible, yes.

merrymelodies · 04/02/2022 00:34

This is a common expression in Canada for very little girls to describe their vulvas.

fallfallfall · 04/02/2022 00:38

@OfstedOffred, i think labia majora and minora together form the vulva??
even labia sounds better than vulva.

Frlrlrubert · 04/02/2022 00:45

Wikipedia is your friend. Vulva refers to all the external parts, labia, vaginal opening, clitoris, urethral opening, even the mins pubis. Labia is much more specific.

TooBigForMyBoots · 04/02/2022 00:52

@NoJaffaCakesAreKeptInThisVan

To avoid any confusion, why not just use the correct words in the first place? 🤷🏻‍♀️
Because they are children with limited knowledge and vocabulary.
fallfallfall · 04/02/2022 01:01

@merrymelodies :) fellow canadian with lots of little girls needing to go wee wee and complaints with winter clothing bunching up in the wee wee.

MiddleClassProblem · 04/02/2022 01:02

I’ve never heard anyone say “Easter rabbit” instead or “Easter bunny”. Although we didn’t do that in my house anyway so it all went over my head…

I wonder what other thinks we use the “kiddy” version of?

I should also point out, I am one of those people who often uses silly words in everyday life, frequently made up on the spot…

KitchenTowel · 04/02/2022 01:03

@ldontWanna

To refer to her vulva or vagina would you know what it means? Even if you didn't in the moment, would it click later?

YABU - no idea what she'd be on about.

YANBU - i would know/it's an easy connection to make.

Unless it's very clear from the context I'd think she is talking about pee, ie urine.
betwixtlives · 04/02/2022 01:06

@HelloFrostyMorning

You don't say the age of the girl, I am assuming little/very young. Calling it her wee-wee is fine.

What else should she call it? Her fanny?

Calling it her vulva is batshit. Why the F would a little girl call it her vulva?! PMSL!!!

grow up