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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If a girl used the term wee wee...

215 replies

ldontWanna · 03/02/2022 22:12

To refer to her vulva or vagina would you know what it means? Even if you didn't in the moment, would it click later?

YABU - no idea what she'd be on about.

YANBU - i would know/it's an easy connection to make.

OP posts:
MajesticallyAwkward · 04/02/2022 16:03

@CaMePlaitPas

My two daughters 3 and 4 call it their vulva. Why on earth would I as their Mum teach them to use a euphemism about a body part?

It is a bit awkward though when my four year old declares in the supermarket that "her vulva hurts" but that's the price you pay. I'd die if she referred to it as her fanny or worse her minnie.

I had similar when my 4yo announced loudly her knickers were all up in her vulva (then naturally started rearranging the offending garment!) in the supermarket...
Hankunamatata · 04/02/2022 16:08

No idea that a wee wee would be a body part. If kid said me wee wee hurt I'd assume they have a urine infection

bobisbored · 04/02/2022 17:50

I work with small children. I've heard a lot of words used for female and male genitalia. This week a child told me her wee wee hurt and I did assume she meant it hurt to urinate but I asked questions until I realised she meant her vulva was sore. I have never, in 18 years, heard a child use the word vulva.

OfstedOffred · 04/02/2022 18:08

Language used to describe abuse would never be the only factor in abuse going unnoticed.

What would be more relevant would be the child's general level of communication and attention from adults.

If my child told my "uncle x touched my bottom/flower/wee wee", there would always be follow up questions. Always. It really doesn't matter what they would call it.

Ionlydomassiveones · 04/02/2022 18:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Wallywobbles · 04/02/2022 18:39

In France she would mean Noddy AKA as Oui Oui.

MiddleClassProblem · 04/02/2022 18:55

@Wallywobbles

In France she would mean Noddy AKA as Oui Oui.
Maybe that’s why people say wee wee is common in Canada? Maybe it’s actually oui oui or derives from there.
Original poster
ldontWanna · 04/02/2022 19:35

@OfstedOffred

Language used to describe abuse would never be the only factor in abuse going unnoticed.

What would be more relevant would be the child's general level of communication and attention from adults.

If my child told my "uncle x touched my bottom/flower/wee wee", there would always be follow up questions. Always. It really doesn't matter what they would call it.

This is a very good point.

One of the things that make me feel uncomfortable with the vulva or nothing opinion is that it completely forgets about children that have SAL difficulties, EAL children, children from different cultures etc. It then becomes a superficial "defence" - especially if it becomes the norm and expectation , leaving a whole cohort of children even more vulnerable than they already are.

OP posts:
bobisbored · 04/02/2022 21:48

@Ionlydomassiveones the names of body parts is actually now part of the curriculum and is taught to key stage 1 children.

MyNameIsAngelicaSchuyler · 04/02/2022 21:50

I would assume urine infection

user1473878824 · 04/02/2022 22:02

@ldontWanna

Crap. Obviously I meant in context. Not just a girl randomly shouting "wee wee".

So something like my wee wee hurts/is sore . Or if they were disclosing something.

I would assume she meant when she wees.
PugInTheHouse · 05/02/2022 09:56

Its really concerning the number of people on here who wouldn't investigate anything kids say further, most the scenarios given warrant further questioning, eg Bob hurt my flower. It's a really random thing to say so whatever is meant by it would need a further question.

Also to those saying the police wouldn't charge someone if a young child used incorrect terminology as it wouldn't be clear what happened, that is a pile of crap. The children would be asked to explain in an age appropriate way, more likely to be showing where they were touched/hurt possibly on a diagram, doll etc.

There's a massive lack of common sense on here. The OP is correct, we need to ensure we recognise that child will explain things in different ways so bleating on about having to use the word vulva is ridiculous.

PugInTheHouse · 05/02/2022 09:57

For all those saying you would assume they meant a UTI then surely you would question this further so essentially you would know it is something to do with their vulva or vagina.

Sofiegiraffe · 05/02/2022 11:08

@PugInTheHouse

I entirely agree. There's so many "I would assume....." comments. Why assume at all??For the sake of a few follow up questions you can be clear on the child's meaning instead of assuming. It's really not difficult.

twoladsnow · 05/02/2022 16:29

@HelloFrostyMorning

You don't say the age of the girl, I am assuming little/very young. Calling it her wee-wee is fine.

What else should she call it? Her fanny?

Calling it her vulva is batshit. Why the F would a little girl call it her vulva?! PMSL!!!

But, why not?
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