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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If a girl used the term wee wee...

215 replies

ldontWanna · 03/02/2022 22:12

To refer to her vulva or vagina would you know what it means? Even if you didn't in the moment, would it click later?

YABU - no idea what she'd be on about.

YANBU - i would know/it's an easy connection to make.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 03/02/2022 22:47

@BeardieWeirdie

Using coy euphemisms isn’t cute, it covers abuse. “Miss, Uncle Jim touched/kissed/hurt my flower.” “Oh really? That’s nice. Right, how are you getting on with your sums?” This wouldn’t happen if your daughter used an appropriate word.
You are bonkers if you think that wouldn’t be raising alarm bells with teachers
Original poster
ldontWanna · 03/02/2022 22:48

@Wineat5isfine

No, this wouldn’t click with me at all. If a young girl said wee wee, I would assume that they needed a wee! This term shouldn’t be used for a vulva / vagina / etc etc 🙄
I'm not asking if it should be used or not. I'm definitely not advocating for it or debating what should be the right terminology.

I was just wondering if people would know what it was meant by it. It's interesting reading all the opinions and the assumptions /associations made.Despite being very obvious and quite intuitive to me(definitely a lot more than flower,cookie,minnie etc) it's not the same for the majority of posters.

OP posts:
fallfallfall · 03/02/2022 22:49

Crotch covers the area well. In the spring when I get back into biking it’s my crotch that’s sore. Really my vulva has never been called upon. My midwife did vaginal exams, Dr checks my cervix. Poor vulva totally bypassed and ignored. I’ll leave it to Gwenith Paltrow.

esloquehay · 03/02/2022 22:52

@HelloFrostyMorning, my 4 year old daughters call their vulvas their vulva.
You know why?
Because as a child I was subjected to sexual abuse, didn't have the vocabulary to say what had been done to me (because anything 'down there' was somehow dirty and shameful in the house I was dragged up in).
So my daughters know the words to all their body parts.

EmmaH2022 · 03/02/2022 22:53

Some strange threads tonight,

Lou98 · 03/02/2022 22:53

@ldontWanna

Crap. Obviously I meant in context. Not just a girl randomly shouting "wee wee".

So something like my wee wee hurts/is sore . Or if they were disclosing something.

If she said her "wee wee hurt/was sore" I would think urine and think she maybe had a UTI.

If she said something along the lines of "my uncle touched my wee wee last night" then I would question whether she meant her vagina

Shiteshow100 · 03/02/2022 22:53

My son called his willy his 'wee wee'. My daughter's called their vaginas 'minnies'.

WeeM · 03/02/2022 22:57

A wee wee to me is urinating as in the childhood song Stop the Bus I Need a Wee Wee! So if someone said it hurt my first instinct would be that they meant it hurt to pee.

Wilkolampshade · 03/02/2022 22:58

YABU

cherryonthecakes · 03/02/2022 22:58

If a child said that their wee wee hurts then I'd assume that they were in pain when urinating because they had a UTI.

TrashyPanda · 03/02/2022 22:59

If a child said wee wee I’d think they needed to pee.

Calling it her vulva is batshit. Why the F would a little girl call it her vulva?!

Why the hell wouldn’t she?
Vulva is the correct word to use.
It is not rude
It is not funny
It is the correct, anatomical term.
And it’s bloody stupid not to use it.

MiddleClassProblem · 03/02/2022 23:03

I find it funny that people insist girls should call it a vulva from day dot but don’t seem to have an issue with tummy or bottom.

No kid is talking about having a sore rectum or colon pain (“No, Toby, you mean your jejunum. Please use the correct terminology”).

PurpleDaisies · 03/02/2022 23:04

I find it funny that people insist girls should call it a vulva from day dot but don’t seem to have an issue with tummy or bottom.

I hate the word tummy. Belly is even worse.

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/02/2022 23:05

Wee wee - urine?

BottleOfSun · 03/02/2022 23:06

I’d think they would have a uti and would cart them off to the doctors tbh

EishetChayil · 03/02/2022 23:06

@HelloFrostyMorning

You don't say the age of the girl, I am assuming little/very young. Calling it her wee-wee is fine.

What else should she call it? Her fanny?

Calling it her vulva is batshit. Why the F would a little girl call it her vulva?! PMSL!!!

Why is accurately naming a body part batshit? You wouldn't call your arm your bingbong or some other made up term. So why do we need twee words for the vulva?

PurpleDaisies · 03/02/2022 23:07

@BottleOfSun

I’d think they would have a uti and would cart them off to the doctors tbh
Wouldn’t you just have a conversation clarifying exactly what the child meant by their “wee wee”?
herpainsceased · 03/02/2022 23:09

Sorry to read of people's experience of sexual abuse.

I also suffered from it as a child and the shame and control I was subjected to stopped me disclosing it without ever getting as far as language.
I use childish terms for body parts with my small children but I have taught them from a very young age that no-one is allowed to touch their private parts no matter who they are.

Back to the OP, never heard of "wee wee" for girl's bits, but I could work it out in context.

MiddleClassProblem · 03/02/2022 23:09

@PurpleDaisies

I find it funny that people insist girls should call it a vulva from day dot but don’t seem to have an issue with tummy or bottom.

I hate the word tummy. Belly is even worse.

And what would you have kids call it?
cafenoirbiscuit · 03/02/2022 23:10

It’s all going on over here this evening 🙄

PurpleDaisies · 03/02/2022 23:11

And what would you have kids call it?

Stomach seems to work fine.

Original poster
ldontWanna · 03/02/2022 23:11

Daft question.. are UTI's that common in children that some many posters would jump straight to this?

OP posts:
Wanderingowl · 03/02/2022 23:11

You are bonkers if you think that wouldn’t be raising alarm bells with teachers

It might raise alarm bells with teachers. But it would absolutely certainly give Uncle Jim's legal defence reasonable grounds to argue against conviction and ensure Uncle Jim spent zero days in jail. A child that can definitively state the correct body parts makes convicting an abuser a lot easier.

Abusers also tend to be careful about their victims and are far less likely to abuse a child who uses the correct terminology for intimate body parts. In part because they can properly describe what happens to them to the police. But also because a child who knows the correct words for intimate body parts very obviously is being raised by parents who discuss anatomy and sexual health with them. These children are not likely to be convinced to stay quiet and keep secrets about being abused.

MiddleClassProblem · 03/02/2022 23:12

@PurpleDaisies

And what would you have kids call it?

Stomach seems to work fine.

And also completely wrong. Your stomach is in your rib cage.
TooBigForMyBoots · 03/02/2022 23:13

YANBU @ldontWanna.

Small children have limited vocabulary and knowledge, context is everything, so if a child complained about "my wee wee", I would check if it was a urination problem or pain in the genitals.

Mumsnet has always had Vulva Pedants who act all disingenuous when people say "vagina", fair enough. But to misunderstand a child because they use a euphemism or the wrong word is just nasty.