If a girl used the term wee wee...

[ldontWanna]

To refer to her vulva or vagina would you know what it means? Even if you didn't in the moment, would it click later?

YABU - no idea what she'd be on about.

YANBU - i would know/it's an easy connection to make.

No I’d think the person saying it needed a wee. I’ve never heard a vagina referred to as a wee wee

my children used it as toddlers,

@HelloFrostyMorning

You don't say the age of the girl, I am assuming little/very young. Calling it her wee-wee is fine.

What else should she call it? Her fanny?

Calling it her vulva is batshit. Why the F would a little girl call it her vulva?! PMSL!!!

Why are you laughing at the thought of people protecting the children around them from sexual abuse?

As an aside I work with kids. It's irrelevant what I think or do in my personal life about this as kids at work will use what they were taught to use. In my area most kids use privates (both girls and boys) which I suppose leaves a lot less room for ambiguity.

I do find it frustrating though that boys have a generally accepted and understood term like willy but there isn't one for girls.

Ahh you are talking about the lady who called her dd's vagina a MINi
Haha
I dont understand why people are so prude when it comes to genitalia. An eye is an eye. A foot a foot. A penis is a penis

And wee wee sounds like you need to go urinate .

I would work it out from some contexts, but it's not a term I've ever heard used that way. In the context OP gave "My wee wee hurts", I'd think it hurt her to do a wee and she had a UTI.

@MilkTwoSugarsThanks

I'm sure most people are intelligent enough to realise what she was referring to fairly quickly.

Ah but this is MN, unless you write Vulva or Penis they ‘pretend’ they have no idea what the Op is meaning so they can appear superior.

You're right and I go one step further and refer to all body parts by cutesy names.

DD brushes her chondies, bites her fonolibranks and I'm always telling her off for scratching her amtee. It gets confusing but least she won't be sullied by the true nature of the human body.

I don’t understand why folk would need to assume anything - you’d just ask the child what they meant if you really didn’t understand. Regardless of what word the child uses, you’d ask them and check out your understanding.

Ah but this is MN, unless you write Vulva or Penis they ‘pretend’ they have no idea what the Op is meaning so they can appear superior.

Indeed @maddiemookins16mum! All the posters on here professing they only ever name body parts anatomically correctly - how many of them do you reckon have taught their child "belly button".

@Jellycatspyjamas

I don’t understand why folk would need to assume anything - you’d just ask the child what they meant if you really didn’t understand. Regardless of what word the child uses, you’d ask them and check out your understanding.

Seems a bit too much like common sense to me....

"if a girl said "Bob touched my flower" I'd totally think that she picked a real flower like a daisy or buttercup and he touched that. I might not even probe further because I'd never associate flower with genitals."

I was 3 when I went home and told my Mum that Bob hurt my flower. She assumed that he damaged a flower that I had picked from the ground. Bob continued to hurt my flower for 5 more years and even then, my Mum cringed when I told her using the correct words and couldn't bring herself to use them reporting to the police.

To answer the op I would assume urine but only because I've never heard a vulva being referred to as a wee wee.

Both my DD's were taught the correct names for all of their body parts from the beginning. If you think there is something wrong with this or that it's somehow shameful, give your head a wobble because you are the one with the problem.

If a girl said "Bob touched my flower" I'd totally think that she picked a real flower like a daisy or buttercup and he touched that. I might not even probe further because I'd never associate flower with genitals.

I'm sorry but I find this very worrying.

@Teachthemright

I'm so sorry

If a child said to me "Bob touched my flower", particularly a very young child, it would instantly sound alarm bells for me. I'd definitely be asking follow up questions to establish the context. It might well be an innocent reference to an actual flower, yes. But it's such an odd and worrying comment out of context that it at least requires some follow up. I find it genuinely concerning that an adult wouldn't follow this up and explore it further.

@Sofiegiraffe

If a child said to me "Bob touched my flower", particularly a very young child, it would instantly sound alarm bells for me. I'd definitely be asking follow up questions to establish the context. It might well be an innocent reference to an actual flower, yes. But it's such an odd and worrying comment out of context that it at least requires some follow up. I find it genuinely concerning that an adult wouldn't follow this up and explore it further.

I totally agree. Surely any sensible adult just asks “what do you mean” and establishes what the child is talking about.

"If a child said to me "Bob touched my flower", particularly a very young child, it would instantly sound alarm bells for me. I'd definitely be asking follow up questions to establish the context. It might well be an innocent reference to an actual flower, yes. But it's such an odd and worrying comment out of context that it at least requires some follow up. I find it genuinely concerning that an adult wouldn't follow this up and explore it further."

Would you have had the same concerns if this was 30 years ago and 'Bob' was a sibling? No, you would probably have assumed that it was child's play like most parents would. But thanks for making me feel like shit for my Mums shitty parenting skills.

I am glad that child safeguarding has come a long way since then. Hopefully incidents like this are few and far between.

Having read the other thread, it gives me a lot of comfort knowing that a lot of people are changing their views on body part names and are normalising using the correct terminology.

Would you have had the same concerns if this was 30 years ago and 'Bob' was a sibling?

I was only 5 years old 30 years ago, so I can't comment on that. But now, in the current day (which it sounded like you were referring to - you didn't say 30 years ago), I would absolutely 100% have major alarm bells ringing if I heard a child say this.

*But thanks for making me feel like shit for my Mums shitty parenting skills.

I didn't mention your mother or her parenting skills though did I. My comment is in no way a personal attack on you or anyone else. I said I find it concerning that that sort of comment from a child wouldn't be followed up, which I do. I'm entitled to that opinion.

If a child said to me "Bob touched my flower", particularly a very young child, it would instantly sound alarm bells for me. I'd definitely be asking follow up questions to establish the context. It might well be an innocent reference to an actual flower, yes. But it's such an odd and worrying comment out of context that it at least requires some follow up. I find it genuinely concerning that an adult wouldn't follow this up and explore it further.

I’d ask more about it any context, not necessarily because I was worried but because I’d want to listen to the child. You’d think that kids go around baking statements and don’t get a response or have a conversation with the person they spoke to, which is much more worrying to be than what they call their genitalia.

The mist effective protection against abuse of having open communication with kids who know that whatever they say, and however they say it, they have interested, caring, protective adults who will properly listen to them. We should rely on kids telling us in a language that makes it easy for us, it helps if they can but it’s only a small part of the picture. Engaging and listening to kids with curiosity and interest is key.

Sorry, shouldn’t rely on kids telling us in language that makes it easy for us.

@Jellycatspyjamas

I completely agree. We have similar approaches it seems.

I think we do @Sofiegiraffe, common sense and open communication.

I do find it frustrating though that boys have a generally accepted and understood term like willy but there isn't one for girls.
But vulva and vagina are accepted and understood?

If a child talks about their wee wee hurting I would assume a UTI, and of course ask more questions to establish what’s going on, but it would be a less confusing and more accurate conversation if they had and used the specific words for each part. It’s not difficult.

I live in a very middle class area and I can honestly say I don't know one person who has taught their child to say vulva. I never knew it was a thing until I came on Mumsnet

Because it's not a thing. In all my years of working with children I have never heard a child say vulva. We all know why we should teach them the correct terminology but, in real life at least, very few children if any, actually use those words whether they know them or not.