If a girl used the term wee wee...

[ldontWanna]

To refer to her vulva or vagina would you know what it means? Even if you didn't in the moment, would it click later?

YABU - no idea what she'd be on about.

YANBU - i would know/it's an easy connection to make.

Lol vulva is such a harsh, horrible word. I’m also amused at the idea of a small child saying crotch. Ew.

We find bottom has served us fine. My bottom is sore. Front or back? Easy.

@Frlrlrubert

'My wee wee hurts' I'd suspect UTI 'Bob touched my wee wee' It would click

DD (5) says vulva (I know, only on mumsnet, but that's what her cousin says because SIL is super woke, she also does drawings where 'this one is a girl, this one is a boy, and this one is non-binary', I honestly am not shitting you)

PPs have got me thinking though. We do use 'tummy' for the general area. Abdomen is quite tricky to say, though DD could manage that now I think, and stomach is too specific, what if it's actually her liver that hurts? We say bum/bottom for that general area as well, as in 'fell on my bottom' because 'gluteus maximum' is a bit much for a small child, and she didn't fall on her anus. Vulva covers the general area, and is no harder to say than fanny or mini or foofoo.

If a girl said "Bob touched my wee wee" I would to be honest think that bob somehow touched her urine but it would be odd enough for me to prove further and then it might click.

Maybe I'm dumb but if I am then I'm sure lots of other people might be too.

Why to have this confusion at all? Why not just use the correct word. I taught DD to say vagina because I thought that's the correct name. I now know it's not. I've told her now it's vulva but she still keeps referring to it as her vagina so I wish I'd got it correct the first time round.

This matters if a child is abused and it goes to court. A jury may let off a paedophile because they think what the child said is too confusing.

The problem is that it's ambiguous. A child telling you that their teacher saw their wee wee might be telling you that they forgot to flush the loo or they could be disclosing inappropriate behaviour. A child telling you that their teacher saw their vulva is immediately going to be easier to help because there is no chance they may be misinterpreted.

It is all very well to say that people should be able to extrapolate from context, but you never know who a child might disclose information to, so giving them clear language is surely the easiest way to avoid any chance of confusion and it mashed it easier for the recipient of that knowledge to act appropriately as well rather than second guessing or worrying that they've misunderstood.

Children only have a limited vocabulary for their body parts if you don't teach them the words they need to describe them. My boys have both been able to manage penis and testicles from an early age, and it's never raised an eyebrow, so why don't we think girls can say vulva without it being somehow shocking or unnecessary?

I do not think you have to use vulva. But it is safer to use a widely understood term.

@bellsbuss

I live in a very middle class area and I can honestly say I don't know one person who has taught their child to say vulva. I never knew it was a thing until I came on Mumsnet.

I live in a very middle class area and I've genuinely never discussed my genitalia with any of my neighbours. I have got no idea what they call it.

When I speak to my kids it's penis and vulva (I used to wrongly say vagina because that's what i grew up with). It never occurred to me to use a euphemism and I've never heard people use them either but as I said it rarely comes up in polite conversation with adults.

Why not just teach kids the correct names? Would you prefer if kids referred to their face as mug? or their head as nobbin? What's the point of that?

There is nothing sexualised about using the correct words. For kids these are body parts like any others. If we call them something else we teach kids that these parts are different. Something to be hidden or ashamed of. What's the advantage?

Why are you discussing this inappropriate very weird

@Monopolyiscrap

I do not think you have to use vulva. But it is safer to use a widely understood term.

Yes. The problem is apart from.tje correct names what is widely understood differs based on region, family, first language, etc. Except for fanny I've never heard any of the other terms that people use. The only other name I know for female genitalia is the c word and I'm guessing no one is teaching vtheir child that (I hope).

Even if you googled some of the other words it wouldn't be clear but you would understand if you looked up vulva.

If a girl said "Bob touched my flower" I'd totally think that she picked a real flower like a daisy or buttercup and he touched that. I might not even probe further because I'd never associate flower with genitals.

Yes I would assume a small child mentioning wee wee would indicate a uti and a visit to a GP would be more appropriate.

Apart from that the word vulva is the best choice to describe her private parts.

@Monopolyiscrap
"This matters if a child is abused and it goes to court. A jury may let off a paedophile because they think what the child said is too confusing."

Children are questioned by professionals using different tools. For the CPS to take it to court it has to be accepted that there's been inappropriate touching. Your scenario wouldn't happen.

"if a girl said "Bob touched my flower" I'd totally think that she picked a real flower like a daisy or buttercup and he touched that. I might not even probe further because I'd never associate flower with genitals."

Even after this thread? It shows that it's important to take notice of our children and not be too busy.

Some children are delayed in their speech/understanding and would use wee wee. We should always be aware of safeguarding.

@TheWaterNokk

"We find bottom has served us fine. My bottom is sore. Front or back? Easy"

I don't like that because bums are dirty and shouldn't be touched. What comes out if them is disgustingly smelly. It's important to give girls body confidence.

Think that’s your own hang up tbh

[quote Ponoka7]@Monopolyiscrap
"This matters if a child is abused and it goes to court. A jury may let off a paedophile because they think what the child said is too confusing."

Children are questioned by professionals using different tools. For the CPS to take it to court it has to be accepted that there's been inappropriate touching. Your scenario wouldn't happen.

"if a girl said "Bob touched my flower" I'd totally think that she picked a real flower like a daisy or buttercup and he touched that. I might not even probe further because I'd never associate flower with genitals."

Even after this thread? It shows that it's important to take notice of our children and not be too busy.

Some children are delayed in their speech/understanding and would use wee wee. We should always be aware of safeguarding.[/quote]
this is the rudest thing I've ever read on MN. "Even after this thread? It shows that it's important to take notice of our children and not be too busy".

So you are excusing your inability to use the correct term by thinking it shows more care for a child? Isn't it more caring to get over your own hangups with the word vulva and teach your kids the correct term? I gave an example of how it can be confusing if someone had never heard flower in this context. If a child told you that "Bob touched my plate" would you think of sexual abuse immediately? Flower is a completely random word to many people. Obviously not now after reading this thread but do you think everyone spends so much time on MN to educate themselves about the batshitness of other people?

Honestly to think that being confused by a wrong word is a sign that you are too busy to listen to your kids is the most arrogant and idiotic thing I've read today.

Even if this is a totally genuine thread, given the weirdos on here it's just not a good topic to bring up.

It’s pretty obvious she means her vagina ( after you put it in context) but I think children should know the real name of their body parts. It’s only taboo because of us adults.

UtI's are quite common in children, yes. Poor hygiene when they're first toilet trained is a common cause, as is not drinking enough.

Perfectly normal term for a young child. My dd will say she needs to do a wee if she needs to go or she will say my wee wee hurts if she needs cream.

Why on earth are some posters saying this topic is inappropriate? The mind baffles 🙄

@HelloFrostyMorning
Why would using the correct terms be batshit? It's no different to using any other body part name.
Why does anybody give unnecessary names or nickname their child's genitalia? That's batshit!

I think there are some obnoxiously inflexible people around. If you can't put context clues together to figure out what a child is saying to you it's quite embarrassing. Sometimes you need to ask more questions to clarify what a child means.
If a little girl said to me her "wee wee was sore" I'd ask her more about it. I wouldn't just make presumptions because she didn't use the anatomically specific word. And I at all the women who profess they couldn't possibly ever understand what meaning the child is attempting to convey.

It is all very well to say that people should be able to extrapolate from context, but you never know who a child might disclose information to, so giving them clear language is surely the easiest way to avoid any chance of confusion and it mashed it easier for the recipient of that knowledge to act appropriately as well rather than second guessing or worrying that they've misunderstood.

This is not a thread about people being opposed to giving children the biological vocabulary of their bodies. It's a thread asking if you (as an adult) would understand what a child is telling you, even if they dont use the right words.

I will join you in that @DropYourSword.

digitalcommons.fiu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1121&context=sferc

Furthermore, children who lack sexual knowledge may be more vulnerable to sexual abuse. Some sexual offenders avoid children who know the correct names for their genitals because this suggests these children have been educated about body safety and sexuality (Elliot, Browne, & Kilcoyne, 1995). One convicted offender (who had assaulted 75 children by the time he was stopped) reported that when children knew the correct terms for their different body parts, he would leave them alone (Sprengelmeyer & Vaughan, 2000)

From the posted article - a segue from the original question but teaching your children the correct names is important.

Probably some girl or woman, who's parent/ parents used that term for her bits when she was young., so the person still uses that term.

It’s a reasonable question. I’m sure I would understand in context.

@DropYourSword

I think there are some obnoxiously inflexible people around. If you can't put context clues together to figure out what a child is saying to you it's quite embarrassing. Sometimes you need to ask more questions to clarify what a child means. If a little girl said to me her "wee wee was sore" I'd ask her more about it. I wouldn't just make presumptions because she didn't use the anatomically specific word. And I at all the women who profess they couldn't possibly ever understand what meaning the child is attempting to convey.

Entirely agree.