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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not understand this about pronouns?

219 replies

HaveringWavering · 01/02/2022 22:11

When people state their pronouns they always say she/her, he/him or they/them.
Why the second part? Doesn’t everyone know that “her” goes with “she”, “him” goes with “he” etc?

Are there people who mix and match- she/him, they/her?

OP posts:
Chickychoccyegg · 01/02/2022 22:12

Absolutely no idea 😂

RoyKentsChestHair · 01/02/2022 22:14

Yup, some of them like to mix it up just to totally confuse you. Or even want you to use she/they alternately because ya know, one pronoun isn’t enough.

HeyGirlHeyBoy · 01/02/2022 22:14

Yes! Grin I saw a she/they recently Confused

Yuckypretty · 01/02/2022 22:14

I've often wondered this. I've never come across anyone.mixing and matching so I think it's just for clarity.

Hapoydayz · 01/02/2022 22:14

Really good point, it's all bonkers

SantaClawsServiette · 01/02/2022 22:15

@HeyGirlHeyBoy

Yes! Grin I saw a she/they recently Confused
I've seen this a fair bit. I think it is kind of bizarre.
bishophaha · 01/02/2022 22:17

I guess writing e.g. Mary (she) or Mary (her) might look a bit odd so they have to have the "/" format to signal that it's a label thing.

RAOK · 01/02/2022 22:17

I’ve seen he/they too.

Furbulousnous · 01/02/2022 22:18

Had one student who is she/her they/them AND He him… I just use the students name. And as the student is rarely there when I am referring to the student in the 3rd person I use she or her as she looks, presents etc as a teenage girl.

Franca123 · 01/02/2022 22:18

The whole thing is beyond me. If I ever actually encountered anyone in real life who 'declared their pronouns', I'd give them a wide berth.

StoneofDestiny · 01/02/2022 22:19

Groan - talk about complicating life

Furbulousnous · 01/02/2022 22:19

I presume it’s because she hasn’t figured out which to go with out of the options but feels she/her isn’t going to cover it but as she hasn’t volunteered that info I quite frankly cannot be arsed to ask.

SunshineArtist · 01/02/2022 22:19

I just use sex based pronouns for people, I don’t pander.

Whatwouldscullydo · 01/02/2022 22:22

And then there's neo Pronouns

Like

Mew/mewself.

Zi/zir

And yes I've seen a she/they that has to be used together in the sentence/conversation just one used isn't enough.

I/dont/care

PurgatoryOfPotholes · 01/02/2022 22:23

Are there people who mix and match- she/him, they/her?

Yes

Ionlydomassiveones · 01/02/2022 22:23

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

HeyGirlHeyBoy · 01/02/2022 22:24

A mew?!

Original poster
HaveringWavering · 01/02/2022 22:24

@Whatwouldscullydo

And then there's neo Pronouns

Like

Mew/mewself.

Zi/zir

And yes I've seen a she/they that has to be used together in the sentence/conversation just one used isn't enough.

I/dont/care

That’s a joke right? Is it for cats?
OP posts:
Original poster
HaveringWavering · 01/02/2022 22:25

@PurgatoryOfPotholes

Are there people who mix and match- she/him, they/her?

Yes

Are they just not good at grammar? Or hedging their bets?
OP posts:
Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 01/02/2022 22:26

@HeyGirlHeyBoy

A mew?!
Like the pokémon??
PurgatoryOfPotholes · 01/02/2022 22:30

I believe they think that none of the default subject/object/possessive combinations (e.g. she/her/hers or he/him/his) fully capture their identities.

Funnily enough, the last person who tried to sell neopronouns to me on MN couldn't use your and you're appropriately.

Linguini · 01/02/2022 22:30

Yeah I vaguely remember a non binary female singer having a hissy fit on Twitter because a magazine used "they/them' pronouns as requested but didn't once use "she" as requested.
Apparently the article was supposed to use "they/them and she".

This was a few months ago mind you. The veh special non binary female has probably changed theyr pronouns to something far more uneeque and veh special by now.

Anna10309 · 01/02/2022 22:31

@Ionlydomassiveones

Thankfully I don’t know a single person in RL who would even humour this crap. I hope it fades away as the non-thinking woke dipshits that sign up to it grow up.
This.
thevassal · 01/02/2022 22:31

@Franca123

The whole thing is beyond me. If I ever actually encountered anyone in real life who 'declared their pronouns', I'd give them a wide berth.
Don't work for the Civil service or bbc then - its rife.

It's an interesting point op - also if you are using she/they to indicate you are happy to be addressed as either (I'm not sure if this means because you identify as both female and non binary or you just dont mind which pronouns are used for you) then why drop the second part (which I assume is a shortening of a reflexive pronoun???) - shouldn't it be "she/her or they/them" not half of each?

And also if you are going to bother listing personal and reflexive pronouns then why not also include the possessive pronoun - so
"He/him/his, they/them/theirs". If you are assuming your audience doesn't know basic grammar and just saying "Jenny (she)" isn't enough why not include everything?

Natty13 · 01/02/2022 22:31

@Franca123

The whole thing is beyond me. If I ever actually encountered anyone in real life who 'declared their pronouns', I'd give them a wide berth.
Can I just ask though- what if you met someone where you genuinely couldn't tell what they were? I had this recently where someone asked me a question where I had to refer to someone whose name I didn't know in my answer and I 100% could not tell you what gender they were at all. I asked a friend what I should have done because if I'd said "he has one" or "she has one" I wouldn't have had any idea if I was calling them by the wrong thing. I wouldn't like if it I was a masculin looking woman ans referred to as "he" nor I guess if I was feminine looking man and called "he". I don't want to make people sad so I'm happy to use pronouns wherever people have stated them 🤷‍♀️