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Original poster

To not understand this about pronouns?

219 replies

HaveringWavering · 01/02/2022 22:11

When people state their pronouns they always say she/her, he/him or they/them.
Why the second part? Doesn’t everyone know that “her” goes with “she”, “him” goes with “he” etc?

Are there people who mix and match- she/him, they/her?

OP posts:
Original poster
HaveringWavering · 01/02/2022 23:12

I really didn’t mean this thread to turn into a discussion about whether people should state pronouns or not. It was a very specific question about HOW they are stated. It’s like the person who invented the idea was teaching English as a foreign language..

OP posts:
MoreSmoresthansnores · 01/02/2022 23:18

I think we mainly all think... yeah whatever....but in the scheme of things (e.g life) its quite a lot of fuss. I hear it a lot as I work in that world... but I bet every penny I have neither of my neighbours (70s and 80s) or my parents (80s) or the guy who repointed my porch have ever given it a moments thought or even heard of it. They would not make sense of the she/they/them at all. Its definitely not going to be a thing that makes it to the end of this decade. I guarantee it.
Its already looking tired on email signatures. Bit like 'be kind'

Franca123 · 01/02/2022 23:19

Am I the only person who doesn't really get what a pronoun is? And why she / her? Like I would have to think really hard how to use that in a sentence. I am dyslexic so maybe that's my get out when I inevitably get it wrong. I really had no idea how good other people are at grammar.

Christmasbird · 01/02/2022 23:20

Hopefully my opinion won't offend anybody but after living in a developing country for a good few years, this is such a first world problem..

MoreSmoresthansnores · 01/02/2022 23:21

This is why it won't gain any traction.

Thirtytimesround · 01/02/2022 23:25

It’s deliberately illogical. It’s to distinguish between “right-thinkers” who say exactly what they have been told to say word for word (like Emma Watson, Daniel Radcliff etc) and “wrong-thinkers” who attempt to introduce old fashioned things like facts and reason.

Facts and reason are unacceptable to trans activists.

It’s a handy email signature to indicate whether or not they should harrass you and attack your career.

HerRoyalNotness · 01/02/2022 23:45

Yes,
One of the presenters on Queer Eye goes by she/him/they and says they are Non binary. I would just use the persons name tbh in fear of getting it incorrect

LateOnTheBandwagon · 01/02/2022 23:51

On the first day of a job I introduced myself to my new boss. The response was that they thought I looked like a Jane so that's what they would call me. Everyone else in that place of work also decided to call me Jane. I have never felt so small and insignificant in my life. I am still not sure why they thought they had the right to treat me like that. How much would it have cost them to use the name with which I introduced myself?

SunshineArtist · 01/02/2022 23:53

One of the presenters on Queer Eye goes by she/him/they and says they are Non binary. I would just use the persons name tbh in fear of getting it incorrect

🙄 I just wouldn’t bother with him. Ridiculous.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 01/02/2022 23:55

I haven't got time for this shit. I refuse to engage. Fair enough if someone is transgender, has had the op and now wants to be known as she or whatever but this he/she/they nonsense. Bugger off.

EBearhug · 01/02/2022 23:56

No one's insisted on my stating pronouns so far, but if they did, I'd be tempted to pur, "my pronouns are grammatically correct."

My pronouns are I/me/mine. I assume that when people refer to me in the third person, they'll use she, which is better than something like "that fucking bitch," but if I'm not there, who really cares? I don't think I've upset anyone that much, but if I have, and they need to blow off steam, so be it.

We have had some people at work put she/ella, and a part of me is tempted to put pronouns in a long, long list of languages, but I haven't given I to it yet. However, we do have a lot of colleagues for whom English is not their first language, and I don't think weird, grammatically wrong pronouns will help them, empathise who aren't fluent.

EBearhug · 01/02/2022 23:59

For "empathise", read "especially those". God knows what would happen to autocorrect if I started using random pronouns. Maybe it'd start making sense...

WheresYourSnickers · 02/02/2022 00:00

@SkiingIsHeaven

I want a badge saying she/we but I think only I will think it's funny and I work on my own anyway, so a bit pointless.
I think it's funny😆 I've always thought if forced to declare I'd say We/ Us, but actually prefer yours!
Ohpulltheotherone · 02/02/2022 00:02

Oh shit I always assumed it meant the person was fine with either when it said
She/they
Him/they

I didn’t think it meant a purposeful combination of both?

Surely not? Surely it means use either?

Oh honestly what????

Lalliella · 02/02/2022 00:12

I know someone who is female with an obvious female first name with surname He. Confusing on emails now!

AutomaticMoon · 02/02/2022 00:29

I must only be addressed as Your Highnyness

HoneyFlowers · 02/02/2022 00:43

I seriously just don't understand it, it makes me nervous now to use any gender related words.

Marmarind · 02/02/2022 00:53

I've told people my pronouns are she/they before when asked.

It doesn't mean you want to be called "she" and "they" alternately, or at least doesn't in my case. It means I don't mind being referred to as "she/her/hers" or "they/them/theirs", both are acceptable to me.

Perhaps "she or they" or "she/her or they/them" would be better, I just thought "she/they" was easier.

Marmarind · 02/02/2022 01:00

Am I the only person who doesn't really get what a pronoun is? And why she / her? Like I would have to think really hard how to use that in a sentence.

A pronoun is a word you use to talk about somebody without using their name. "This is my friend Sophie, she is French" (she is the pronoun). "Her aunt is a chef" (her is the pronoun).

For yourself, you use "I, my, myself, mine".

I/me/mine
She/her/hers
He/him/his
They/them/theirs
We/us/ours

All pronouns

You will be using them all the time without noticing.

Aprilx · 02/02/2022 01:04

@Ionlydomassiveones

Thankfully I don’t know a single person in RL who would even humour this crap. I hope it fades away as the non-thinking woke dipshits that sign up to it grow up.
@Ionlydomassiveones

I have unfortunately started to see people do it on my LinkedIn, “real”people that I have worked with in the past, not random connections.

Only women though, I haven’t seen any men do it yet.

Jacaranda75 · 02/02/2022 01:09

Load/of/attention/seeking/bollocks.

Eightiesfan · 02/02/2022 01:22

I work in a boys secondary school where the use is rife amongst students to the degree that when speaking to the class collectively it has become uncomfortable to use the term boys or gentlemen as we have several students transitioning. One of them although registered with our school attends all his lessons at the girls school across the road. Schools are also dropping the term Head Boy/Girl and replacing it with Head Student which I am all in favour for.

However, hadn’t really thought about why it’s necessary to use both he.him etc but I am going to ask one of my students tomorrow!

Littlesnail · 02/02/2022 01:28

Personally, I think they're lacking ambition with only 2 pronouns.

If I have to start declaring pronouns, I'll use Latin - ea/eius/ei/eam/ea.
Then I can be offended both by the use of the wrong pronoun and by the shabby grammar of the offender.
Once they get the hang of dative/ablative etc, I might switch to Russian/other languages in cyrillic script.

Kinneddar · 02/02/2022 01:53

I know someone who uses Mx/they. 🙄

Its a minefield!!!

TheresSomebodyAtTheDoorNeil · 02/02/2022 02:04

Fuck knows.

Some blue haired friend of dds demanded to know mine a while ago (( well slowly becoming ex friend. Dd finally saw sense and started backing off when she kept trying to convince her she must have an issue with SOMETHING.)) ..... She got the Paddington bear stare. (( I barely know the girl)) Im considering investing in a pair of glasses to perch onto the end of my nose for added effect Biscuit