To not understand this about pronouns?

[HaveringWavering]

When people state their pronouns they always say she/her, he/him or they/them.
Why the second part? Doesn’t everyone know that “her” goes with “she”, “him” goes with “he” etc?

Are there people who mix and match- she/him, they/her?

I saw a tiktok recently where the person was flouncing out of a shop shouting a woman calling them a bitch because the woman's child misgendered them.

A child.

I'm sorry, my 5 year old will say what he sees. If you present and look like a man he'll say "that man". Kids arent trying to be offensive and before I tackle teaching DS about pronouns I'm going to finish trying to teach him more basic stuff like bum wiping and reading.

It’s a luxury belief, and in many cases an effort-free way for a company to tick an Equality & Diversity box rather than having to spend time and resources on real inclusion, eg for disabled people in the workplace.

If you think “well it’s harmless, I want to be kind so I’ll use/share preferred pronouns”, you need to think a little more carefully about it. It’s not kind to allow someone else to compel your speech, it’s not kind to parrot part of an ideology that actively harms women, it’s not kind to indulge a delusion, and it’s not kind to put pressure on those questioning their own ‘gender identity’ to out themselves before they’re ready.

@Yuckypretty

I've often wondered this. I've never come across anyone.mixing and matching so I think it's just for clarity.

No, it’s got nothing to do with ‘clarity’. It’s virtue-signalling gone bonkers.

@MoreSmoresthansnores

I would love to know if this is a thing in European countries (a broad range of countries) ... I'm guessing it absolutely isn't in most of the world (because they have more pressing issues). In Iran they're regularly executing gay men for being gay. Another reason why I have no time for people who get upset if they're accidentally addressed incorrectly. For some reason I look like a Sue. I get called it a lot. I'm not called Sue. It genuinely doesn't bother me. Its hardly done with malice. Get a grip pronoun people.

In Finnish there's only gender neutral pronouns (hän) but there's some blue haired types who put their pronouns in English, which is just ridiculous and pointless because of course no one will be using them as they will be talking Finnish and using hän.

@NecessaryScene

I would love to know if this is a thing in European countries (a broad range of countries)

In Finland the local TGNB crowd gets upset because Finnish already has sex-neutral pronouns, so they can't make a fuss about trying to get people to use the right one. And custom pronouns have made no traction whatsoever.

So they settle for telling people what pronouns to use for them when speaking English, but that just makes the whole thing even more lame and ridiculous. (Finnish people often get "he/she" wrong speaking English anyway, because they're mentally translating from sex-neutral).

And on the original question, three parts was common a few years ago, and it was because of the made-up pronoun crowd - they had to try to explain all three cases "xe/xim/xis" or whatever. This seems to have got confused and some people now seem to think it's alternatives, like the 'she/they' lot.

(Lucky English only has 3 cases. If someone wanted custom ones in Finnish, they'd need to list out all 14).

Ah I see someone else already said this about Finland. Its ridiculous

I get misgendered regularly by Finns when they speak English, sometimes using both he and she in the same sentence. Amazingly I haven't died from this literal violence

I had someone announce it on a work zoom call (they/them). Took every ounce of strength to not say "thats nice dear"

Oh this is spreading like wildfire in my workplace. Not one person who's decided to include their pronouns in their email signature has surprised me yet as they match their gender. I've not seen a they yet.
I do roll my eyes when I see it. We're not at the announcing them on teams calls yet but then we don't tend to introduce ourselves as we've all worked together for a while. Our internal directory actually lists our titles Anyway so I'm Miss Storm Inabuttercup
There's been no directive from the powers that be on this.
We do have a lot of colleagues in India and on the odd occasion ive not actually spoken to them I've checked if they were mr/mrs/miss as it was a name I wasn't familiar with but as others say if you use he instead of she when referring to someone they won't know anyway

It annoys me every time I see it as it isn’t grammatically correct. Surely it should be she/he or it. Like in German with der, die and das. ‘They’ is a plural word and they are only one person so should use the singular ‘it’.

I knew a guy who used we/us pronouns. His colleague was given a disciplinary for implicating himself in wrongdoing by using them. "We admitted that we used the money fraudulently" instead of "You admitted". Crazy.

Is he Prince Charles?

@EishetChayil

I knew a guy who used we/us pronouns. His colleague was given a disciplinary for implicating himself in wrongdoing by using them. "We admitted that we used the money fraudulently" instead of "You admitted". Crazy.

Was he Boris Johnson?

It’s all a load of nonsense. Pandering to narcissistic attention seeking folk (mainly men). I work with a they/them. Changed his name as well to something non binary, wears ridiculous dresses that a 10 year old would wear and questions what toilets he’d use if he come in the office…

I don't waste my time trying to understand it - it's a pile of nonsense that deserves no place inside my mind.

The more people cooperate with it and tolerate it the worst it will be come. So I'm not.

*become!

Again I wish companies would get their priorities straight.

We spend large periods of time at work single manning.

If someone is off sick it can be difficult to cover. Staffing is often split around multiple branches at these time.

There are things like clean staffrooms that are often lacking.

Grubby chairs ir broken chairs. Damp manky carpet. Rotting back door etc

Why is there money fir Stone Wall training but not to ensure staff have a clean sanitary area to eat to eat lunch

Just bonkers

The whole thing is ludicrous, grammatically incorrect and compelling speech on the part of another person.

I don’t pay any attention - if you’re a man I’ll call you he, if you’re a woman I’ll call you she.

I use "they" for everybody who doesn't want to use the pronoun corresponding to their biological sex.

@Furbulousnous

Had one student who is she/her they/them AND He him… I just use the students name. And as the student is rarely there when I am referring to the student in the 3rd person I use she or her as she looks, presents etc as a teenage girl.

I would interpret this to mean you can use whatever pronoun you see fit.

If my work ever made me declare pronouns (very unlikely), I would be tempted to go for a bit of a wind up eg he/it.

Does anyone know which of the genders xir/xey signifies? I don't want to misgender and look like a dick, I think it may be pangender but Google didn't help.

shouldn't it be "she/her or they/them" not half of each?

Lots of she/they/their or similar in my workplace and meetings related to work.

People are supposed to remember them forms and use them appropriately, not to consider them swappable. Although some people just want both used and get irritated when it's mostly the singular and not the plural form.

I don't need the drama. It's making me very unwilling to talk in groups or write emails for some purposes because I don't want to look up the pronouns of up to 80 people. ANd, putting them in your Zoom or Teams chyron doesn't help because:
i) they're too small to read
ii) most of the time the meeting is so large I can't see the full gallery
iii) it would introduce gaps in the discussion well beyond, "You're on 'mute'".

That was Halsey.

The article that covered the furore ended up alternating she/her and they/them through the entire piece.

Surely there is a risk of readers not understanding whether the article is about a single person or more than one person?

I saw something just recently where somebody had been pulled up for not using "they/them" pronouns for another person and responded to say that in the context (which was medical) it needed to be absolutely clear that there was only one person and not several people, and using "they/them" could have confused things.

I wish I could remember what it was.

@EmbarrassingHadrosaurus

shouldn't it be "she/her or they/them" not half of each?

Lots of she/they/their or similar in my workplace and meetings related to work.

People are supposed to remember them forms and use them appropriately, not to consider them swappable. Although some people just want both used and get irritated when it's mostly the singular and not the plural form.

I don't need the drama. It's making me very unwilling to talk in groups or write emails for some purposes because I don't want to look up the pronouns of up to 80 people. ANd, putting them in your Zoom or Teams chyron doesn't help because:
i) they're too small to read
ii) most of the time the meeting is so large I can't see the full gallery
iii) it would introduce gaps in the discussion well beyond, "You're on 'mute'".

What field do you work in, out of interest?

Is this actually a widespread problem, in adult workplaces?