To not understand this about pronouns?

[HaveringWavering]

When people state their pronouns they always say she/her, he/him or they/them.
Why the second part? Doesn’t everyone know that “her” goes with “she”, “him” goes with “he” etc?

Are there people who mix and match- she/him, they/her?

@Ionlydomassiveones

Thankfully I don’t know a single person in RL who would even humour this crap. I hope it fades away as the non-thinking woke dipshits that sign up to it grow up.

Right there with you! Lost for words 😂

@TheresSomebodyAtTheDoorNeil

Fuck knows.

Some blue haired friend of dds demanded to know mine a while ago (( well slowly becoming ex friend. Dd finally saw sense and started backing off when she kept trying to convince her she must have an issue with SOMETHING.)) ..... She got the Paddington bear stare. (( I barely know the girl)) Im considering investing in a pair of glasses to perch onto the end of my nose for added effect

My daughter has a friend like this too. She too is backing away from said friend. She said it’s exhausting being her friend.

YANBU! It's ridiculous.

As for the "what do you do if you can't tell if they're male/female or want to be recognised as male/female", you just do the best you can, probably avoid using any pronouns at all in their presence. At a pinch, I'd use "they". Tbh, if they're offended by someone not knowing their gender, they need to give clear cues (clothing, hair, etc). If it's important to someone, it's rarely that difficult to communicate nonverbally that they're a man or a woman (or want to be perceived as such). I'd never intentionally offend, but I can't read someone's mind (or DNA).

Does it mean we have to call them that?

Hello 'he'

Sounds a bit, un, odd?

Or is it so we know he's a man/woman? He's called Eric?!

What's the point in it?

@AutomaticMoon

I must only be addressed as Your Highnyness

My husband recently informed me that he identifies as a deity and his pronouns are God/Him. 😂

Personally I just put GreenWheat (I/You/He/She /It/You(pl) /We/They). Job done 😁.

They have started talking about people putting pronouns on ends of emails now. I will try to use preferred pronouns but cwill not remember people chop and change.

@Franca123

I've met a lot of people and this has never happened to me. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

I'd prepare yourself in advance, rehearse in front of the mirror and make sure you're word perfect.

Take it from me, when you encounter this pronoun Olympics stuff it can take you by surprise and you end up saying it wrong and get pounced on by the pronoun police. "Don't you know 'Ali' wants to be known as they/them/their when they aren't in the room and can't hear you anyway."

It's like the bloody thought police.

A massive power trip imo.

@giveyou2reasons

YANBU! It's ridiculous.

As for the "what do you do if you can't tell if they're male/female or want to be recognised as male/female", you just do the best you can, probably avoid using any pronouns at all in their presence. At a pinch, I'd use "they". Tbh, if they're offended by someone not knowing their gender, they need to give clear cues (clothing, hair, etc). If it's important to someone, it's rarely that difficult to communicate nonverbally that they're a man or a woman (or want to be perceived as such). I'd never intentionally offend, but I can't read someone's mind (or DNA).

I've had to drill it into myself to use they/them for everyone. It's a very unnatural way of thinking and speaking

I expect there's bound to be a time I'll get told that "they/them" won't do for so-and-so because they insist on being called she, just to keep everyone on high alert.

I think it's to pad it out, so it sounds more like some sort of official Thing.

I work with university students who love a good pronoun and like to announce them at the start of teams calls.

One guy always says his pronouns are he/them. That does not make sense to me.

God knows OP

When I was at uni at briefly lived with a girl whose partner was non binary. They flitted between he / they / she sometimes on an hourly basis, with absolutely no heads up either verbally or based on what they wore. My flatmate would become incandescent with rage if you ever used the wrong pronoun, even when 2 hours earlier it was the right one.

When I think of those pronouns added on thd end of emails I always imagine them spending all day repeatedly changing their email signature

It’s times like this that I’m glad I don’t really know anyone between the age of 15 and 35 because if someone told me how to refer to them behind their back, I would consider them an absolute fool and would simply refer to them as “that bloody blue haired twat”

Yes. It's something that only people with too much time on their hands do. It adds nothing to Trans inclusion and in my opinion just makes people care less about it all by diminishing it.
My 13 yo declared within 30 seconds of watching the most recent Queen eye that the presenter who is very obviously a gay male was an attention-seeker and she even said (and I must admit I was quite proud/realised I'd indoctrinated her well) that he was 'picking out the bits of woman he wanted while still being a man, and telling women what to wear and how to look'.
Isn't it enough you're a man without also now wanting to own 'she'? Bit grabby taking our pronouns too!
A 13 year old knew this.

@Ozgirl75

It’s times like this that I’m glad I don’t really know anyone between the age of 15 and 35 because if someone told me how to refer to them behind their back, I would consider them an absolute fool and would simply refer to them as “that bloody blue haired twat”

I hope it’s a fad that will soon die out. I find it boring and infuriating in equal measure.

I started watching a YouTube video about a topic I was interested in. Nothing to do with feminism or gender etc. The host specified her pronouns as She/her/hers with pauses between each one. I wonder if there’s anyone who wants their possessive pronoun different from the others 😂.
Her name was something like Lucy or Sarah and was clearly female so not like anyone would have thought differently. I stopped watching.

I CBA with any PC nonsense. Never have and never will subscribe to it.

Can I just ask though- what if you met someone where you genuinely couldn't tell what they were? I had this recently where someone asked me a question where I had to refer to someone whose name I didn't know in my answer and I 100% could not tell you what gender they were at all. I asked a friend what I should have done because if I'd said "he has one" or "she has one" I wouldn't have had any idea if I was calling them by the wrong thing. I wouldn't like if it I was a masculin looking woman ans referred to as "he" nor I guess if I was feminine looking man and called "he". I don't want to make people sad so I'm happy to use pronouns wherever people have stated them 🤷‍♀️

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Then surely referring to that person as they/them would suffice if you genuinely didn't know if male or female?!

Whenever I’m on a Teams call and someone says ‘Hi, I’m John, he/him pronouns’ I nod along but inside I’m 🙄 🙄 and can’t stop thinking how much of a moron they sound. I can rarely take them seriously after that (as I’m trying not to snigger)

@BigYellowHat

Whenever I’m on a Teams call and someone says ‘Hi, I’m John, he/him pronouns’ I nod along but inside I’m 🙄 🙄 and can’t stop thinking how much of a moron they sound. I can rarely take them seriously after that (as I’m trying not to snigger)

I'm exactly the same!

I can understand someone who wants to use different pronouns to what you'd typically expect to say.

But a man, called John, who identifies as a man, really doesn't need to declare their preferred pronouns 😂

I would love to know if this is a thing in European countries (a broad range of countries) ... I'm guessing it absolutely isn't in most of the world (because they have more pressing issues). In Iran they're regularly executing gay men for being gay. Another reason why I have no time for people who get upset if they're accidentally addressed incorrectly. For some reason I look like a Sue. I get called it a lot. I'm not called Sue. It genuinely doesn't bother me. Its hardly done with malice.
Get a grip pronoun people.

People who make their entire being about ensuring they are addressed correctly are fucking exhausting. Why do we have to put so much effort in ensuring that a small group of people aren't upset. It's use of the English language that has been widely accepted for much longer than using different pronouns. Thankfully my nhs trust don't use the terms 'chest feeding' and 'birthing people' yet. If anybody had called me a birthing person I would have imploded.

@SkiingIsHeaven

I want a badge saying she/we but I think only I will think it's funny and I work on my own anyway, so a bit pointless.

🤣

I would love to know if this is a thing in European countries (a broad range of countries)

In Finland the local TGNB crowd gets upset because Finnish already has sex-neutral pronouns, so they can't make a fuss about trying to get people to use the right one. And custom pronouns have made no traction whatsoever.

So they settle for telling people what pronouns to use for them when speaking English, but that just makes the whole thing even more lame and ridiculous. (Finnish people often get "he/she" wrong speaking English anyway, because they're mentally translating from sex-neutral).

And on the original question, three parts was common a few years ago, and it was because of the made-up pronoun crowd - they had to try to explain all three cases "xe/xim/xis" or whatever. This seems to have got confused and some people now seem to think it's alternatives, like the 'she/they' lot.

(Lucky English only has 3 cases. If someone wanted custom ones in Finnish, they'd need to list out all 14).