How much will you be willing to spend to attend a wedding.

[Tohaveandtohold]

This is inspired by BIL who has decided he’s having a destination wedding. The wedding itself is on Boxing Day but it’ll be a 4 day event, according to him, we’ll explore the location, etc. Flights and the wedding hotel cost for my family (4 of us) has come down to almost £8000. We’ll still pay for the activities, etc as well.

I’ve obviously said there’s no way Im spending that on a wedding but he still thinks we’re just not making an effort to save for it, he’s quite entitled!

So just curious, how much will you be willing to spend to attend someone’s wedding?
For voting,
Yabu- £8k is not a lot
Yanbu- he’s got to be kidding

Is it in Maui?

£20-30 excluding drinks

I’d expect to shell out for travel and one night’s hotel stay, plus some drinks at the bar and a wedding present. That’s it

If it was that much for 4 then I'm unsure. It depends on the relationship.
But if I really couldn't afford it then I would tell dh to go alone if it was his brother

He's nuts. At a push £800 but £8000? That's crazy money - unless he's offering to pay!

I've paid around £1500 for 2 but turned it into a holiday

We spent roughly £1k to attend my cousins wedding(2 of us) including gift, outfits, hair & make up but her mum is like a surrogate to me and her sister is like my wee sister so I tolerate her and make the effort where needed. It was actually a fabulous weekend. No way on earth I’d spend £2K per person. If I’m spending that I want more than 4 days and to chose what I’m doing

No way, unless it was to attend a genuine traditional cultural wedding in a far flung place that was my new in-law’s culture and home. Even then it would be a push to pay £2k a head.

YANBU!
I’ve been invited to a-wedding in Scotland in June and the flights are £250pp, plus it requires a two night stay. And I thought that was a lot(!) 😏

For our family of 5, I think a month's wages would be the maximum I would pay and it would need to be at least a week holiday, so it depends what your income is. I'm imagining 8k would be more than a month.

Cost us about £5k to go to an Italian wedding because we had to take family for childcare (that's not including their costs!) But some of that is our own holiday cost and I'd spend 4k on similar holidays usually .

DH did spend about £1500 going to his cousin's wedding (alone, it was during term time). But it was held where his cousin lives, and where his wife is from, so not a destination wedding, which certainly affected our decision.

We spent £8000 on our honeymoon, and we spent five weeks abroad.

I can't imagine valuing someone else's wedding that much.

8k?! No way 😂

Not a chance. It could be the queens second wedding hosted on the moon and I'd decline.

I've paid up to £500 to attend previously (not including drinks / outfit) but that was for a super important wedding. Anything in the multiple thousands is really entitled, unless he's offering to pay a chunk or all of it!

I can't afford to go to any wedding unless it is local.

For a family of 4 going away over Christmas, that sounds about right. Travel has gotten very expensive. And like you say, that doesn't include any activities, food and drink. Honestly if you were going away somewhere over Christmas, you may as well go for a week or 10 days to make the trip worthwhile. Can you tag on a week at a cheaper location and make it your vacation for the year?

If you really can't afford it, then just say no.

@StCharlotte 😂😂😂 it’s at St Thomas island. I think because it’s at Christmas time, it’s bumped up the price of everything. Plus he has a really expensive taste.
To add, I’m sure we’ll be expected to contribute something as well to help FIL and MIL for the trip though they’ve not said anything about that yet

I would expect that many of their family and friends also wont be able to attend. I always thought it was common when you have a destination wedding, to also have something back at home? Either a smaller wedding, gathering/BBQ/party, meal out etc

Boxing Day too so messes up Christmas?

If the wedding is on Boxing Day are you supposed to miss Christmas Day at home as well?

Are they planning anything back in the UK for those that cant attend the overseas wedding?

No way. I’d struggle to pay much more than £500 to attend a wedding, even then I’d have to be pretty close to them.

Pft

'Listen chap, you're being an entitled cunt. I wouldn't spend 10% of that to attend the wedding. Even if she was marrying a normal person and not a jumped up wee prick like you'.

Start as you mean to go on xD

A lot of people don’t spend that hosting their own wedding! He’s being ridiculous.
DH and I once spent about £900 between us on flights and a weeks accommodation for a destination wedding. I wouldn’t spend much more than that. We did it because it was in a lovely location and we could make it into a weeks holiday.