How much will you be willing to spend to attend a wedding.

[Tohaveandtohold]

This is inspired by BIL who has decided he’s having a destination wedding. The wedding itself is on Boxing Day but it’ll be a 4 day event, according to him, we’ll explore the location, etc. Flights and the wedding hotel cost for my family (4 of us) has come down to almost £8000. We’ll still pay for the activities, etc as well.

I’ve obviously said there’s no way Im spending that on a wedding but he still thinks we’re just not making an effort to save for it, he’s quite entitled!

So just curious, how much will you be willing to spend to attend someone’s wedding?
For voting,
Yabu- £8k is not a lot
Yanbu- he’s got to be kidding

@LeQuern

Plus UK weddings can cost a similar price;

£500 hotel for 2 nights
£100 present
£300-£500 outfit / hair etc
£50 travel
£100 cash for bar etc.

I have never in my life spent anywhere near that on attending a wedding in the uk.

8k for 4 days!

That's a no from me. We are having 10 days holiday for half that in the summer!

LeQuern

Plus UK weddings can cost a similar price;

£500 hotel for 2 nights
£100 present
£300-£500 outfit / hair etc
£50 travel
£100 cash for bar etc”

Wouldn’t be going to that, either

(Seriously, if you want such a pricey do, pay for it yourself.)

I'm planning to spend less than that by far on my own wedding!

I would decline. X

In principle I don't mind saving and spending money to attend a wedding abroad, combined with a holiday. A few of my friends suggested it while planning their weddings, and we'd have done it, but they all ended up changing their minds and staying at home. But eight THOUSAND pounds?! I mean, really?! What the hell is costing that much? No chance.

Nope. That's mental.

Depends if I wanted to go there anyway and could combine it with a family holiday, stay for longer than a few days etc, then whatever our holiday budget was. I'd pay £8000 for 4 on that basis but not for 4 days!

MrsSkyler and PurpleDaisies, you’re cool - I think the standard MN reply is ‘it’s an invitation, not a summons’s’!

Fairly standard coatings in my circles though. Don’t get me wrong, there’s been a few that have been in my home town (London) and it’s bloody great to go for the day from home and then get a cab back!

Most I did was £600 and I was annoyed about it.

£150 max and that would only be if we had to stay overnight. I would never stay longer. There is no one in my family or circle of friends I care about enough to pay £8K.

We're searching for a venue and I have been stresssssssed about costs for guests (partners family and some friends will have to travel (if they want)) and just turned down the dream venue as they need minimum 15 rooms booking and we felt it was too much to demand people to stay there when they could stay at a premier inn nearby for so much less if they prefer and we couldn't absorb the cost into our budget if that's what people decide to do!

Asking people to spend £8k is bonkers, but what's even worse is not understanding that some (most) people will inevitably have to say no!

£100 travel, £150 overnight. Maybe some new clothes if necessary.

Does he want a very small party?

8k+ is a ridiculous sum. I dont know anyone who would be prepared to pay that.

Very small eventual guest list!

That would be a no from me.

Obviously you have your own idea of what you can afford but no one has the right to demand you spend £8000 on attending a wedding.

£8k? Not a chance.

The older I get the less interested I am in having spending my time and money as decided by other people. If I want to go, then I'll make every effort. But if it doesn't fit in with my holiday or financial plans then I say no.

My DDs are going to a friend's destination wedding in Greece. They are making it a 10 day holiday and it's costing a month's wages. For family I'd go to two months wages, unless it was a combined holiday somewhere I'd want to go. It depends on your income and usual holiday expenditure.

£150-200.

At a pinch, I would go to a holiday destination I could actually afford at the same time - but even that is unlikely.

I spent £750 on my own entire wedding. Not a chance I'd spend 8k going to one...that's bonkers.

Bloody hell, I didn't spend 8k on my own wedding. It wasn't especially small (white dress, church, sit down meal after etc) - about 50 people, came in at about 5K

Can't imagine spending that much on someone else's

8k!!!

£83 an hour to attend. You could literally go travelling for 3 months with that.
Good luck to anyone that can afford that lifestyle but to expect others to go is obscene.
Half of marriages sadly fail, but social media pressures everyone to aim higher and higher.
What is with these attention seekers? If you want to get married in a truly amazing setting go for it but do it alone, then show the thousands of photos at a knees up afterwards, everyone is happy then.

I think people who spend 3k on a destination wedding are the type who would have gone on a similar holiday anyway so they don't understand any others don't want to do the same. I don't want to go on someone else's holiday and use my annual leave, my DH's annual leave and our holiday budget on going on somebody else's idea of a good time. So I don't go to destination weddings.

£200, £500 if it was family. Absolutely no way I would be going. You can celebrate some other way.

My own wedding cost £2k, so it’s a hard no here.
Probably £500 would be acceptable for me now as a guest.
For context, I spent £10k on a 3 week family holiday before lockdown and it was amazing. 4 days would be a joke.

Tell him to do one. What’s the worst that can happen? If he fucks off then so be it.