Bit of b’ground, and apologies if it’s long.
Family moved to a different area of the country at the end of summer. DC started school for first time and We and DC quickly became friendly with another couple and their DC.
They were also new to village but not wider area itms? We’ll call them Pam and Tom.
Since Sept there’s been lots of playdates and coffees between Pam and I and kids, with lots instigated by P&T including; hosting us for Sun lunch, dinner at a restaurant near where they used to live which they thought we would enjoy and a spa morning for Pam and I. All successful and clear we all had a hoot.
Lots in common with regular just nice long chit chatty messages back and forth between us throughout the wks. Was happy we’d found potential ‘friend friends’ and not just a ‘Mum friend’.
We’ve been having work done and finally repaid and hosted twixtmas drinks/nibbles. Mistake, we were all tired/bloated from Xmas. Also DH clearly forgotten how to host, spiling drinks, not topping up drinks, even tho he said he would take charge of that, got drunk, kept switching off my Spotify and putting his random play lists on and making us all listen, making random cocktails, atmosphere flat, clear P&T were not impressed. They were also a bit snooty about a few things which was a little red flag. Despite slow refills Pam got V drunk and took over convo, I felt like I was really boring but couldn’t get a word in edge ways! For two weeks they just kept moaning about how hungover they were in the following days.
Since then dynamic has changed.
They were desps for us to meet another couple they were friends with and organised for NY day lucnh, Pam cancelled this at last minute – understandable, said would rearrange asap, for us all to meet. This hasn’t happened and she dropped into a convo they’d been for lunch with other couple and then clearly remembered she possibly hadn’t meant to tell me and went v red/sheepish.
Messages have slowly dried to short/cursory and now nothing. Quite a contrast.
We’ve 4/5 playdates since Xmas (equally arranged/initiated by Pama and I tbf) but they have been a tad strained, probs not helped by kids being grumpy.
We also had synchronised drop-offs and would often walk with them to school as both on same route, since the start of term they are going much earlier so not seeing them then.
Thought a coffee sans kids would be good, Pam didn’t seem too keen and cancelled at last min; telling me how busy they are with work; they have their own bus and a big project on so totally understandable.
Last wk we had something planned in just Pam and I which had been in diary ages,I txt over wknd to conf, Pam said she’d let me know, did a few days later but was so negative, ‘will we have time, feeling pressured with the project, weather doesn’t look great, not covid but I’m coming down with a cold just to warn you….but still up for doing it’. Really?!? Felt I had no choice but to put her out of her misery and suggest rearranging, she obvs said yes and ‘I’ll be in touch’. She hasn’t been.
Told myself well they are so busy. Saw her today fine but breezy, I remarked they must be flat out and Tom said actually not bad, not much we can do at mo. Told Pam she looked great (she did) and she v sheepishly said well we’re meeting friends for brunch. Obviously, she can meet who she wants, clearly, and has other friends locally before anyone starts. But plainly they are not that busy are they. She finished up with lots of slightly embarrassed we must get something in, we’ll do something asap, but it felt awkward and no mention of the thing we’d canceled
.
Am I reading too into this, I’ve lost a lot of confidence since lockdown and giving up work after having DC so worried my perspective might not be great?
Do I instigate a coffee/lunch or should I just take the hint and delete the convo/number to save any embarrassment, and keep it ‘ friendly breezy’ if I see them?