AIBU to not want to ring people without warning?

[Brandnewbrighttomorrow]

Phone calls - back at working from home this week after the Christmas break and have been startled by a couple of people phoning me out of the blue without emailing or texting first, is that odd? I don’t feel that comfortable ringing people myself anymore - with friends only communicate by text or in person - just seems like you’re invading someone’s day by calling them without warning! Thinking telephone etiquette has shifted, maybe accelerated by Covid? AIBU?

I bate being on the phone, but yeah it's weird to expect people to give you notice of a phone call 🤣

Well you don't have to answer. Also you need to tell them you want them to text or email first.

I have some friends who I can call whenever and some that I message first because I know they need that.

Yes, that’s odd.

Depends why they're calling. Say a relation died, I'd expect a call with no notice. If it's just a chat and catch up, I'd like warning so that I know the time is good, and I'm not about to rush out.

The warning that someone wants to talk to you on the phone is the ringing sound the phone makes!

I'm not sure why you need advance notice of a phone call? Or do you mean as that is your work day they shouldn't interrupt, if that is the case put your phone on do not disturb maybe helps you out?

I dunno…is it colleagues, during the work day? If so that seems entirely reasonable. All my colleagues check via teams if we are free for a call which is polite, but not required during work hours. Unless you mean a different kind of call?

Work calls are different, but we usually do ping each other first to see if it's a good time.

Sorry OP, but I think that’s really stage.

How does it work?

Text people before you’re going to call them.

Worry they’ll find a text intrusive so send them a WhatsApp so they know they’re going to get a text.

Fear that you’re being too pushy with the WhatsApp so send them an email to say they’ll get a WhatsApp message shortly.

Emails are really stressful so probably best to call the person to let them know they’ll get an email to announce a WhatsApp advising of a text to precede a phone call.

Sorry but I think that's weird to expect advance notice of a phone call unless there is a good reason (like one friend with a sick partner or another with a new baby). Most phones have caller ID now so people have a choice to answer or ignore

If they want an hour catch up or a confidential conversation maybe a text first is good etiquette but I can't think of many other reasons why you wouldn't just ring. If someone is unable to talk surely they just don't pick up?

It was work calls - virtually everything I do work-wise is done via email or pre-arranged meetings - it was two people I’d never spoken to before, I guess after 2 years of working from home and a quiet Christmas I’m just not used to talking to strangers any more.

At work of course I ring someone if I have a query - why would I pre warn them of calling? If they're busy, they don't answer and I leave a message, if they're not then they answer and it's all fine.

Unless it is a long call that you might need to make time for, why would you need forewarning? Do you use teams or similar?

The warning that someone wants to talk to you on the phone is the ringing sound the phone makes!

This ^

It is NOT weird to phone people without warning them you are going to phone them.
It IS weird to be surprised that a phone rings.
It IS weird to expect someone to somehow let you know they are going to phone you before they phone you.

But you can often get an answer much quicker with a phone call.
When we first started wfh, most people didn't have Teams and many had work phones. But their numbers weren't shown on the company directory (i.e. Outlook) so unless you already knew their number you had to email.
But emails are very easy to ignore,

Ah ok. I’d find it odd from people I’d never spoke to before and I’d expect a meeting arranged. Just as I wouldn’t appreciate someone I’d never spoke to approaching my desk mid day mid task to rope me into something. Team members and those I work closely with are fine to call whenever because we are on the same page. People within the business that I do not know and wouldn’t be prepared to answer questions to should give a heads up. I decline calls and request a meeting invite and ask what I need to prepare in those cases.

I like personal calls to be checked/pre arranged but I din't think you get away with that at work unless you're very senior.

@Whichcatthatcat

The warning that someone wants to talk to you on the phone is the ringing sound the phone makes!

This. You can ignore it.

Text is good for a super quick question, but often it’s quicker to call.

Leaving voice mails however, SHOULD BE BANNED

No it’s not normal to expect people from within your own business to schedule a casual conversation. I can understand someone not wanting surprise visitors at home but to expect everyone to prearrange every phone call / conversation is just crazy.

I hate people ringing me. Text me! My mum rings me every day during breakfast so my bacon roll and coffee go cold.

Lured "Leaving voice mails however, SHOULD BE BANNED"

Why please?

One less email to sieve through in my opinion, If I need someone I would just ring them especially at work, regardless of if I have spoken to them before.

I hate all the instant messaging back and forth much more efficient to pick up the phone.

@Whichcatthatcat

The warning that someone wants to talk to you on the phone is the ringing sound the phone makes!

THis!!!!

It’s work, people need to get stuff sorted, it’s not weird at all to call someone for a quick query to save another damn email!

You can choose not to answer if you’re genuinely busy but if you can take the call then just do - otherwise whatever they want will just take longer to get sorted.