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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My partner sent me a screenshot and at the top there was an arrow <plenty of fish he is saying he was on twitter

210 replies

Lolabray · 08/01/2022 22:58

Please can you give me your opinions.

I screenshotted my partner a funny picture of him on a day out where he was in some gardens waving and sent it over to him with giggles on the photo remembering the day.

A minute later he sent me a screenshot back but I noticed at the top of the page there was this written above the picture as if to say go back to the previous page

OP posts:
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8
SoManyTshirts · 09/01/2022 10:40

@Polkadotties

That happens when you leave an app because you’ve had a notification e.g. for a text on WhatsApp, you got to WhatsApp through the notification and it’s a quick way of going back to the original app
Polkadotties is correct. He was on it, and if you go to the App Store and open POF on his device it will probably log him in.

I sign up perIodically and have seen the same three married men on there for the last four years - and those are the ones in my age group and location that I know about.

Phobiaphobic · 09/01/2022 10:53

Guilty AF. Sorry, OP. Good luck with finding a fresh fish of your own.

Tal45 · 09/01/2022 10:57

This is the sort of thing that messes with your head - wtf was he on a Twitter page all about POF anyway though?? That would be pretty weird in itself wouldn't it??
Get him to show you exactly what he did and see if POF does come up - I doubt it will but at least then you'll know for sure. He might have deleted everything else but that way he'll either be able to repeat what happened and prove he was telling the truth or it won't work and will say Twitter.

Catjs87 · 09/01/2022 11:10

While he more than likely has been on it most men are w ads do come up even if you haven't I have ads come up all the time on fb r ig about things ive chatted to friends or they've chatted to me about on the phone. You'll never find out either way and if your not believing him its dead in the water now anyway. Good luck finding some1 who isn't a complete waste of air 36yrs im looking 🙈

BDavis · 09/01/2022 11:35

@Lolabray Eurgh, what an prat he is OP!! I’m sorry you had to find out like that but I’m glad you know Flowers You deserve better!
Get rid of him!!

Scottishnewbie2022 · 09/01/2022 11:47

God the worst thing about this is he obviously thinks you are as thick as mince.

Sneezesthrice · 09/01/2022 11:52

You need to follow lalalaletmeexplain on insta. In fact message her! she’s brilliant.

Jacketpotato84 · 09/01/2022 11:55

He's dropped himself in it hasn't he,
I know you probably don't want to believe it bit it IS what it looks like, he's obviously going to deny it,
Be glad that you've caught him, saves further wasted time on an unfaithful partner
Let him go

FlasherMcGruff · 09/01/2022 12:01

Agree 100% that he has been on the POF site. Whether or not he actively searched on it or clicked on a twitter ad to get there is besides the question - he was on the site itself not viewing a Twitter advert and that’s the last thing that he was doing before he messaged you.

Also agree 100% that he then actively searched for POF on Twitter to show you that they advertise because that’s why those search terms are in bold. He did not simply return to the supposed advert.

Hope you’re okay OP. He’s clearly really fucked up here but you were alert enough to pick it up and not be mugged off.

WonderfulYou · 09/01/2022 12:31

God the worst thing about this is he obviously thinks you are as thick as mince.

I agree.

If he had cheated on a night out I would be absolutely fuming but I might find a way to forgive him.

However he is on a dating site spending time and effort trying to cheat, it’s much more of a piss take than just cheating.
He has a profile and pictures and there’ll be people who knows he’s in a relationship but he literally doesn’t care.
God knows how long he’s been on it and how many people he’s met.

But on top of that, what’s even worse is he literally thought he could lie about it and OP would be stupid enough to go along with it - that alone would be enough for me to finish it on the spot and never look back.

BoodleBug51 · 09/01/2022 12:32

What a horrid shock, OP.

He's a cheat, and a not very clever one either.

GrannytoaUnicorn · 09/01/2022 13:08

@Lolabray I used to work for Apple. Yea, you're suspicions are correct unfortunately. That back arrow names the actual app that the user left to access whatever app they're on whenever the screenshot was taken. The ONLY way this could be even close to innocent, would be if he clicked on a POF ad for some suspicious reason, which would have taken him to POF(!) then to whatever app he was on when the screenshot was taken.
Either way, he popped over to the POF app for one reason or another (either intentionally or 'by accident(!)'. That is fact unfortunately, regardless of what he says.

GrannytoaUnicorn · 09/01/2022 13:09

*Your.

Crikey there's a spelling mistake I never ever make 😱

Notimeforaname · 09/01/2022 13:13

Sorry op. He is lying scum.
But, you do sound as though you're mentally strong enough and well capable of ending it with him.

OfNick · 09/01/2022 13:20

He's got an iPhone right? He's been on it. Sorry OP. As other have said it only comes up like that if you have clicked on something else away from the site or app you are currently on. The arrow is for them to return to the original site. Gets rid, who needs that kind of behaviour in their life?

DearFrutti · 09/01/2022 14:25

@NewPapaGuinea

You could get him to go to the app store and search for the POD app. If he’s installed it before it will have the cloud download icon.
Yes, I wanted to suggest this. If you can be bothered, that is.
Eleganz · 09/01/2022 15:02

God some of these cheating sods are so thick aren't they?

FlasherMcGruff · 09/01/2022 15:24

Twitter doesn’t ever have pop up ads which suddenly appear on your phone and can be accidentally clicked on. They have sponsored tweets, which appear in your main timeline and look like tweets. I’ve attached a picture of what a Twitter advert looks like. I’ve been on Twitter for ten years and I do not ever get ads in any other format. It’s impossible as the page layout is edge to edge and there’s no room for ads except in the main timeline.

That picture he sent you is NOT an advert, it’s a avatar for the Plenty of Fish account and it’s there because he’s searched for Plenty of Fish which is why the words are in bold in the results which have come up.

He’s a liar when he’s telling you that 1) it’s an ad; 2) it popped up and he couldn’t help accidentally clicking on that; 3) clicking on it took him to the website - it wouldn’t, it’s not a weblink, it would simply result in him following the POF twitter amount; 3) the back button you can see only takes him back to a twitter ad and not the actual POF website. If it was to a POF post on twitter, it would still say twitter.

He has been on that website’s main page and was doing that when he switched screens to reply to you. He’s a bloody liar and he’s hoping you don’t have the knowledge to work out that he’s lying.

FlasherMcGruff · 09/01/2022 15:26

Forgot the pic! You can quite clearly see that it says ‘promoted’. All twitter ads do.

My partner sent me a screenshot and at the top there was an arrow <plenty of fish he is saying he was on twitter
JanuaryBluehoo · 09/01/2022 15:27

He may be able to silver tongue his way out of this, but I'd always go with the facts.

The hard evidence.

Sorry op Flowers

Lolabray · 09/01/2022 15:39

Thanks everyone I am feeling a bit in shock today and don’t believe him, I feel numb and like history has repeated itself. He says he got an
Email and even sent a video which showed the link to pof as the email said there are messages. I’m like why are there messages if you’re not logged on. He is trying to convince me he’s innocent but my gut tells Me either he has thought I have some messages (why would he, he’s in a relationship) I’ll log on or it is an email to get him
To log in again, either way I don’t get mail from
Pof when I’m not on it.

OP posts:
JustUseTheDoorSanta · 09/01/2022 15:42

It's hard to face @Lolabray. Quick plaster off can hurt less in the long run.

Lolabray · 09/01/2022 15:44

The problem is he lives around the corner and always tries to come back. I’ve even considered putting my house up for sale and moving so he doesn’t know where I’ve gone to. Otherwise I’ll get pestered and him turning up in drink. I’ve got my kids to think of here.

OP posts:
bantuknots · 09/01/2022 15:47

Wow this man is so dumb!

I have an iPhone so often see that little arrow thing in the top corner which is just an easier way to go back to whatever site you were on. The screenshot from twitter saying 'this is what I was on' is actually taking the piss. Does he think his iphone is going to pick up the 'plenty of fish' words from twitter's search engine and then say 'plenty of fish' in the corner instead of 'twitter.'

I have twitter and I can promise you it says 'twitter' in the left hand side if that's what you were last on. Also the screenshot from twitter has 'plenty of fish' in bold which means he typed that into the search engine to show all posts that have written that phrase. I can do the same thing and show you as the same tweets would come up. Why would he be searching that up anyway if it's a dating site?

This has got me so heated and I don't even know him! It's one thing to get caught out but why lie and make you seem dumb as if you'd believe this. No clue if he has an actual account or not, but it's enough that he was on the app in the first place. It's also definitely the app as if he was on it on safari, iphone would say 'safari.' Why would you have an app to something yet have no profile? Don't piss me off pls!

Hope you're okay OP. After 3 years no one has time to be getting messed about

Lolabray · 09/01/2022 15:53

I deserve better and I know it is like educating pork although I have said I’m 20 steps ahead of you darling and been through this already. He is so thick and backtracking. Clearly not happy with me if he needs to look on there, so I’m gunna get myself sorted and try move on x

OP posts: