My partner sent me a screenshot and at the top there was an arrow <plenty of fish he is saying he was on twitter

[Lolabray]

Please can you give me your opinions.

I screenshotted my partner a funny picture of him on a day out where he was in some gardens waving and sent it over to him with giggles on the photo remembering the day.

A minute later he sent me a screenshot back but I noticed at the top of the page there was this written above the picture as if to say go back to the previous page

@Chocandtea - I'm sorry your experiences have led you to believe that cheating is normal and shopping around online when in a relationship is normal. It actually isn't. You need to get yourself a new man who respects others, and new friends too if that's their norm.

DH only has real friends on social media and not randoms who he fancies, so I wouldn't blink at DH "liking" a friend's photo. It's all down to approach, and the one you're seeing is not pleasant.

You could get him to go to the app store and search for the POD app. If he’s installed it before it will have the cloud download icon.

@Chocandtea

Sorry you’ve had bad experiences but I agree with PP. And while social media does make it easier to meet up with people which cheaters will use it also makes it easier for introverts like me who don’t want to hang around places going up to men to talk to them or waiting on them to come to me.

I’m not sure if there’s evidence that people are cheating more. I think cheaters just adapt to the situation.

@Lolabray

Thanks everyone, I’ve been married to a player, left him became a single mum, I’m not going to put up with this bullshit from a man who is supposed to love me, I’d rather be alone.

Good for you. ''Being alone'' is far better I assure you.

I never met something online that stuck, just one asshole after another. They all dumped me!!! Despite being nothing to write home about any of them. So one day I just decided stop this fucking nonsense hoping to ''meet somebody''. I did meet somebody in real life and we were in a good relationship until covid put distance between us but I just don't go looking anymore. Nope. Done.

Thank goodness you don't live with him so untangling yourself relatively straightforward.

@Ruralbliss

I've given up shit blokes for a dog (& an online qualification) *@Lolabray*

I'm triply shocked and judgey about the absolute nerve of this cheating liar on your behalf.

1. Clearly on POF (very shitty and counts as cheating in my book)
2. whilst simultaneously conversing with you (doubly shitty)
3. Realises his error and your seeing the evidence so gaslights you by a blatant lie 'errr no definitely wasn't I was errr on Twitter' (triply shitty for gaslighting and lying and trying to cover his cheaty arse)
4. Having the brass neck to try to fraudulently forge a 'legit' Twitter feed referencing POF but the obvious search is highlighted as bold (so that's quadruple shiftiness in one brief flurry of exchanges)

Ah well better to realise he's low life bellend scum now than later.

I'm sorry for your heartache. He'll soon be ancient history and you won't recall his name.

Dogs and girlfriends are the way forward.

I agree. No dog! but teens, a job, a house, my friends, my freedom.......

If somebody tried to gaslight me now, I'd be so turned off. I wouldn't even need that ''dialogue in my head'' like i used to have to endure when I was trying to make sense of being treated like a breadcrumb or getting cold after hot.... I used to find it all so hard to make sense of. Now I like being on my own, it would all be so easy to make sense of. It'd be Goodbye.

Hope you got some sleep, I'd say it depends if you believe his explanation or what you can see with your own eyes. Your call, but I'm not sure how you move forward if you can't trust him.trust your gut.

I wouldn't have let on I had seen it then investigated.

@Chocandtea

I noticed snap chat at the top of my boyfriends phone once and tinder. He made out he never used snap chat. I know he had a tinder account and I know he met someone off it when we stopped talking for a few months. He doesn't know that I know. We were watching something 2 weeks ago and he said that's why I got rid of Snapchat because people kept posting their dinners.

I've told my boyfriend that he needs to dump me if his eyes start wondering. But I have no further reasons to suspect there's Anybody else.

The problem with relationships now is social media and all these apps etc. It's too easy for people to play around. I hate it. I think social media has altered humans to an extremely unhealthy degree now.

Your boyfriend has clearly been on it. Only he knows why. Tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him not to play dumb as you've seen he's been on it.

Only he knows why.

Everybody here knows why. Oh darling just dump him. :(

He’s lying.

I access mumsnet via Google. Even though I’m on mumsnet when I just opened a text, it will take me back to mumsnet via Google.

If he had clicked PoF on Twitter, it would still say Twitter as that was the page he was originally on.

He’s lying, you’ve caught him red handed.

See example.

Thing is if he’d fessed up immediately then there might have been scope to salvage things with an honest discussion about why he felt the need to browse a dating site. However the lying and gaslighting is game over. What a twat. Sorry this has happened for you, but you deserve more than a cruel liar with his eye out over your shoulder all the time, being single is better than that. best of luck.

I'm sorry OP but he's been on the Pof app and left it to message you

I'm genuinely confused by the idea that a conversation with a cheat and a liar would have any value at all. It's a boundaries issue to me; if you allow them to lie to you further then you just show that the boundary didn't matter and all he needs to do is come up with some good lines. Pointless. Boundary crossed = dumped. Next.

That screenshot means he has been on the POF app, you searching for him won’t prove anything as POF users can mark their profile ‘hidden’ - which means they can still use their profiles, conversations etc, but they will not show up in the search bar. Don’t ask me how I know

@JustUseTheDoorSanta

I'm genuinely confused by the idea that a conversation with a cheat and a liar would have any value at all. It's a boundaries issue to me; if you allow them to lie to you further then you just show that the boundary didn't matter and all he needs to do is come up with some good lines. Pointless. Boundary crossed = dumped. Next.

This op. Theres just no point at all.

@JustUseTheDoorSanta

I'm genuinely confused by the idea that a conversation with a cheat and a liar would have any value at all. It's a boundaries issue to me; if you allow them to lie to you further then you just show that the boundary didn't matter and all he needs to do is come up with some good lines. Pointless. Boundary crossed = dumped. Next.

My point was that he might have fessed up at the point where he was neither a cheat nor a liar, just a man who looked at a dating site and admitted it when caught. But he didn't, so moot point.

He would have had to have looked up POF beforehand for the ad to come up on Twitter. So what he is saying is that he came upon it for the first time while on Twitter? If so he's lying.

Get rid of him. His caught red handed

Well done lolabray for telling the baiters(don't know what to call them but they poison online conversations) to go away. I don't know about POF but I think you know you don't really trust your partner.

Oh no. It means he has at least done a search. Any other signs of cheating?

If he's on POF, he's likely to be on other dating sites too. Do a search on some of the others and see if he's lurking there - he may not have deleted himself from those if he thinks you don't know about them.

What is he like otherwise? Any o other examples of sleaze?

He would’ve been on the app. Ask if he’s ever been on POF, if he says no, the App Store will show that he has previously downloaded it, and you can ask why.

If he has been on before, ask him to log in with you to prove it hasn’t been used recently.

I know I've been on dating sites before to look at the "talent" with absolutely no intention of contacting any of them in real life. Lets hope it innocent but then I'm not a man and men have different reasons for doing this type of thing.

Most of us women when we start having our suspicions we become top CIA detectives, honestly the things I discovered from my ex online, hook up sites using different name, the old Craig list ads because I managed to get into his emails, the lot