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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My partner sent me a screenshot and at the top there was an arrow <plenty of fish he is saying he was on twitter

210 replies

Lolabray · 08/01/2022 22:58

Please can you give me your opinions.

I screenshotted my partner a funny picture of him on a day out where he was in some gardens waving and sent it over to him with giggles on the photo remembering the day.

A minute later he sent me a screenshot back but I noticed at the top of the page there was this written above the picture as if to say go back to the previous page

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Lucycantdance · 09/01/2022 01:44

Agree with PP OP. You sound totally awesome by the way.

I’d also add that his immediate reaction “go on it and check” sounds exactly like what a guilty person would say.

Good riddance Cake

AppaTheSixLeggedFlyingBison · 09/01/2022 01:58

Im not familiar with Apple but sounds like he was on it. Ask to see his phone as sounds like he's used it as an app. If he's already deleted the app then you can search it on the app store and I've been told it says "re-install" or similar if they have previously downloaded it

AppaTheSixLeggedFlyingBison · 09/01/2022 01:59

So sorry OP, hate people who cheat. Such a nasty thing to do to someone your supposed to love. Hugs and flowers to you Flowers

ToManySnacks · 09/01/2022 02:05

Yes, 100% he was on pof
My phone does this

Sparklfairy · 09/01/2022 02:20

I haven't been on POF for ~3 years but ages before they pof locked itself down so you had to make a profile in order to search and view other profiles.

Also in order to have the ad come up on twitter he would have had to have been on the site in the first place. Pof isn't going to waste money advertising to people in happy relationships, it simply uses its ads to follow around people who are looking and have been on their site.

Its very easy to hide your profile from search results and still continue conversations with people on there too.

There is literally no other explanation. I'm so sorry.

Wendarl · 09/01/2022 02:29

Yes, from the screenshot you shared it’s definitely clear he was on the page. What an arsehole. Be thankful he’s been such an idiot as to be caught out and you now have the ball in your court. Best wishes to you, you deserve better!

DreamTheMoors · 09/01/2022 02:31

Hi @Lolabray -

Many years ago (like 5-6) now, I was on Plenty of Fish. Very naïve.
Of the messages I received, 99.8% were for hookups. They were gross and inappropriate and it didn’t take me long at all to delete everything and deactivate my account.
I know this doesn’t help you in the least, but better forewarned.
PoF is an awful place, at least here in the US.
I’m so sorry this has happened to you.

LaBellina · 09/01/2022 02:39

Another vote for he was on it.

If you want definite proof, set up a fake account on POF and go find him.
But this would be evidence enough in itself for me. So sorry op Flowers

Panda8383 · 09/01/2022 03:14

What an arse he is … some men don’t realise they have a good thing, he will realise when it’s too late x

Gargellen · 09/01/2022 05:57

Don't 'ask to see his phone'. He's not eleven.

He's looking around. Be done with him. What a dick.

Staryflight445 · 09/01/2022 06:44

He’s an idiot. Pressing on the POF Twitter page isn’t using the app and clicking on a notification.
That’s literally his phone giving him a quick button back to the POF app after he’s messaged you back.

Get rid of him, what a loser for trying to wriggle his way out of it.

VerveClique · 09/01/2022 06:49

I’d be saying to him:

“I’m working on the assumption that you were on POF, and I’m going to be taking my decisions on the basis.”

PurpleFlower1983 · 09/01/2022 06:54

Definitely on POF I’m afraid. You sound strong though OP, onwards and upwards! What a knob!

MimiDaisy11 · 09/01/2022 06:55

Sorry this has happened to you.

I wouldn’t waste your time looking for him on it especially when he told you to. If he had a profile it’s been suspended or deleted.

blahblahx · 09/01/2022 07:07

What a scumbag!

Get rid!

Snorkmaidenn · 09/01/2022 07:09

Sorry, was a bit confused .
Yes, do understand.

JustUseTheDoorSanta · 09/01/2022 07:24

Sorry he's been lying to you @Lolabray, it's not nice. New year, new start. If you don't want any more discussion then you don't need to have it; just block his numbers without any more discussion and post any of his things.

JackTheHack · 09/01/2022 07:26

He is on POF
I don't get random ads for dating sites

Chocandtea · 09/01/2022 07:28

I noticed snap chat at the top of my boyfriends phone once and tinder. He made out he never used snap chat. I know he had a tinder account and I know he met someone off it when we stopped talking for a few months. He doesn't know that I know. We were watching something 2 weeks ago and he said that's why I got rid of Snapchat because people kept posting their dinners.

I've told my boyfriend that he needs to dump me if his eyes start wondering. But I have no further reasons to suspect there's Anybody else.

The problem with relationships now is social media and all these apps etc. It's too easy for people to play around. I hate it. I think social media has altered humans to an extremely unhealthy degree now.

Your boyfriend has clearly been on it. Only he knows why. Tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him not to play dumb as you've seen he's been on it.

JackTheHack · 09/01/2022 07:29

I glanced at my partners phone once and there ws a tab for Sugardaddy.com
Fucking sugardaddy! Mate you couldnt Even afford your van 🤣🤣🤣

ashorterday · 09/01/2022 07:33

@JackTheHack hope you mean ex partner!

Gargellen · 09/01/2022 07:34

@JackTheHack

I glanced at my partners phone once and there ws a tab for Sugardaddy.com Fucking sugardaddy! Mate you couldnt Even afford your van 🤣🤣🤣
Arf Grin

Sugardaddy also offers sugardaddies to impoverished gay men though presumably?

MimiDaisy11 · 09/01/2022 07:40

The problem with relationships now is social media and all these apps etc. It's too easy for people to play around

I think the problem is shitty people and they’ve always existed. These apps are only temptation if you want to cheat otherwise you don’t go on them or think about them.

Justilou1 · 09/01/2022 07:42

I am so sorry you have had to deal with this, but pleased he was dumb enough to show his hand and that you have a lovely doggy. They’re the best people - except for mine who is a traitor.

Chocandtea · 09/01/2022 07:46

@MimiDaisy11

Yes I agree but the Internet has made it so much easier for people to have access to all these filtered, fake lives. We've made ourselves into a catalogue of choices. What happened to the days when you liked a girl or man at a bar and you talked? There is top much addiction surrounding being online. It's all around my circle of friends and family. People are sneaking about more than ever. Even liking another womans photo because you find them attractive can destroy your partners confidence and that's what people do now. They wouldn't go up to that woman in the street and say wow you look hot. But it's OK to press a button and let them know your thinking they look good.