To leave a 16 1/2 year old alone for a week to go on holiday?

[sweetkitty]

161/2 yo DD2 is very high functioning autistic hates being social, hates leaving the house, hates the sun, hates going on holiday so a week in Spain won’t be particularly enjoyable for her. I know she will spend it either in the hotel room or under a parasol in the shade on her iPad moaning about the heat.

We have quite a few animals and the family we usually do our reciprocal animal care during our holidays are being what we see as a wee bit unreasonable this year so in order to be able to go on holiday we have 2 options

1. DH goes with 2DC in June before the school break up as it’s very cheap then and then I go with the 3 DCs beginning of July DD2 doesn’t go at all but gets to stay behind with a parent each time. Downside is DH and I don’t go together and it’s probable a wee bit more expensive
2. we leave DD2 at home by herself to look after all the pets for a week, she said she would be fine with this as long as there’s food to eat. She said she would love not having the rest of us in the house annoying her!! I feel she’s just a bit too young and would probably worry too much whilst we were away.

I could probably ask a friend to pop in on her every day (she would hate this) but no we don’t have any family that could come stay with her.

Sounds fine to me as long as she is happy with it.

I don’t think I could go on holiday and leave her alone. I wouldn’t enjoy myself.
If she has high functioning autism, would she be ok to be left alone for a week?

At that age I went to look after my grandparents house for a week while they went on holiday. I was left along at home for long weekends quite often as I didn't want to go to the themed weekends my family did.

Do you have local family who can pop in to check on her or she could call if she needed to?

I personally wouldn't leave a 16 year old alone, I think it's too young.

I used to stay at home at the same age as I wasn't keen on family holidays but my DGPs would come to stay with me.

I wouldn’t do this.
If anyone gets wind that she is home alone she would be very vulnerable in many ways. I would be too worried about her to enjoy a holiday.

Think you've answered your own question when you said you feels she's a bit young and you'd worry.

Sucks but there it is! Maybe some 16yos would be fine but you know your daughter and yourself best.

I wouldn't leave mine alone for a week.

I was left home alone for more than a week at 16 and I was fine, I would have dealt with emergencies etc just fine as I had done previously.

I was left alone for long weekends at this age. I think if someone could check in on her every few days that would be fine.

at 16 I also went to teneriffe with my friend (also 16) for two weeks on our own.

I do think it's interesting to see that despite all the improvements in eady communication and technology we are less inclined to give young adults the same freedoms/ independence we had at that age

She’s a very mature and sensible 16 year old (I wouldn’t even consider leaving her 18 year old sister)

No unfortunately no grandparents or close family nearby or not nearby to come and stay with her (she would hate this anyway). We do have a very large dog who barks at anything and everything and sounds very scary.

My parents did. I’m autistic (although I didn’t have a diagnosis, we kind of knew I was “different”). They went to Cyprus without me. My Grandma was local but not just round the corner. We had nice neighbours too. I was fine.

I would for 1 or 2 nights but not for a week. I think she would miss you even if she thinks she won't. there is something very lonely about locking up the house alone every night and having the responsibility of having done it right & keeping everything secure, especially with animals.

Yes do it if she's happy. I lived alone at 16 - it depends on your child. As long as you are sure she isn't the party type or going to have boys over and up to nonsense then go with it!

Honestly, I feel she’s too young.
I left home at 17, but was “responsible” for myself only, and had a fallback (parents, friends, parents of friends, aunts... etc). It was also a different time (no social media etc) and am nt.

So... it’s not outrageously young and a terrible idea, but it’s not what I’d do.

Does she have a friend who could come and stay with her while you're away? I think if I was leaving mine I would see whether one of her friends would come and stay. That would also have the advantage that their parents would probably effectively be "on call" if anything did arise.

Wouldn't leave mine alone for a week especially as it's dark this time of year

My parents left me for just over two weeks when I was 16 when they went to Turkey. I didn't want to go at all. My next door neighbour would have helped me with anything and my aunty came over twice. Apart from that I had different friends over for a few nights at a time and only had one night alone, I think I was a bit scared. They set me up with an account at the local Indian and left me food, £100 and a crate of Stella

@GeorgiePorge you know I was just thinking about this I remember having my first weekend away with friends aged 16, this was before mobile phones, we hopped on a train off we went didn’t call our parents once. At 17 I went to Tenerife for 2 weeks with friends again no communication with my parents think I phoned once in the second week. We just went off out didn’t text or call, we seemed to have a lot more freedom.

My 16-yr-old stayed home alone last summer for a week. She isn't autistic but hadn't actually stayed at home by herself until then. She absolutely loved it! Dealt with pets, enjoyed meal planning and cooking for herself and having a friend or two over for dinner (pasta or pizza). She did have a summer job so was going out to work each day on the bus/train which gave her day some structure.

Would you be able to let her have a practise run one weekend so your DD can experience being home alone and see how it feels?

If she's happy to be left and you trust her then fine.

Drum it into her not to put it on social media, and to make sure none of her friends mention it on there either.

I went on holiday with friends at 15, had a fab time but they were boringly sensible... (good job, really!).
You can have a baby at 16 (legally!), get married.,. I kind of think we baby our kids too much. But I still can’t imagine leaving mine home alone at that age!

What experience does she have of staying alone in the house?
In principle it sounds OK but it would be quite a leap to a whole week and you all being in Spain if its a first time.

She’s definitely not the type to have parties or boys over, she would probably spend the entire week playing on her Xbox. I would have to phone her to remind her to feed the pets and go for a shower! She’s so up for up it’s me who is totally unsure. This would be in the Summer haven’t booked anything yet. Just thinking it over. Next year will definitely leave her as she will be 17 1/2 by then and be going to uni after the Summer (we’re in Scotland so she’s one of the youngest in her year) so could be getting ready to live alone

@LublinToDublin I’d give her a few trial runs before the whole week just to see how she gets on

I would test run this with a long weekend first. It all depends on how she feels, how you feel, and to some extent the area you live in
. Does she like extended peeiods alone ,cook for herself , locks all the doors etc.
Our ds was v indpendant at 17 and went abroad with mates. It depends on the personality. I would have loved the freedom.of it at 16 and probably had my friends and bf round.