Do you have to tell your husband what you want for Christmas?

[OGenkiDesuKa]

Was taking to my friend who me ruined she had given her husband her Christmas list and she hoped he got everything on it.
I asked didn’t he know what she would want just from knowing her and from conversations they’ve had throughout the year? She said no way!

I’d be really sad if my husband had to ask me what I wanted as it wouldn’t be surprise and it would show to me he doesn’t listen. He always manages to get me exactly what I want without me asking! And vice versa.

How does it work with you and your spouses? Aibu to feel that way?

He used to surprise me with wonderful gifts but as time has gone on (and children) he has been less and less thinking about it himself and asking me to the point I ordered my own presents this year! I do have a big birthday in between now and the new year so he did ask me and went beyond his budget to get me something but we chose together which was also nice!

My DH has just asked me what I want. I told him I definitely didn't want to deal with the DC for a whole day while he ambled around town tomorrow picking me up something in desparation!

My dh and I are perfectly capable of choosing things each other would like. But sometimes we give each other a few ideas. It's all good either way. Needing a few pointers is not a sign that someone does not know or love their partner. Some people are just better at that sort of thing than others (though there is no excuse for some of the awful, inconsiderate, thoughtless men you read about on threads on here who ignore their wives' birthdays or buy them a bunch if flowers from the petrol station etc).

Thinking about I know exactly what DH wants every year:
Jumpers - I can manage this
Books about economics, obscure philosophers and French new wave cinema - no idea what he's read already, list please!
Computer games - he buys them himself and I pretend I gave them to him

Equally he knows what I want:
Cookery books - he has no idea which authors
Books - see above
Toiletries - he isn't even going to try, I am so fussy due to ezcema and migraine
Clothes - he thinks my taste in clothes is revolting
A donkey - never going to happen

I have to be very specific with DH he is hopeless at gift buying and I'm very difficult to buy for! He knows I tend to like practical gifts but I wouldn't trust him to get it right...........he is autistic though and tends to take things literary!

My dh always manages to buy me something I like; it’s just basic observation - not too much of a requirement really

We obviously show eachother we love and appreciate eachother every day too not just at gift giving too!

I don’t know, maybe it’s just because that’s how my family had always treated gifts. It has to be a surprise or it’s not a gift.

My husband listens to me saying what I want and writes it down on his phone in the notes section 😅 So when it comes to Christmas/birthday/anniversary/valentines he always has lots I want.

And we got married last week to PP so yes I’m fully aware I’m still in newly wedded bliss plus newborn bubble and life is #blessed. We’ve been together a while though!

you are an adult not a child

DH has spent a lot of money on my presents over the years, especially hideous jewelry that never gets worn, because it’s not my taste. One year, he bought me a Japanese kimono, after I’d said I’d like a silk robe/dressing gown…and he had a heck of a time returning it.😂

DH has very different taste to me and has only once got it right when he bought me a simple eternity ring ( I think DD helped him). So now we just do little presents and buy what we want throughout the year. I asked for new kitchen scales for my birthday as I enjoy baking…I sent a couple of links and he STILL got different ones as he thought they looked more accurate.🤣

@LowlandLucky actually according to the “how old is an adult” thread I’m actually not

I don’t see why we all need to turn miserable just because we are adults.

I give mine a list and then he adds a couple of smaller surprises to it usually food related - I’m in a fortunate position to be able to buy what I want during the year so he would find it tricky to keep track

I prefer a mixture. I sent dp a link to a specific gardening tool I want, I don't know how he'd be able to anticipate it without guidance. I imagine he will also get me some surprises.

We ask each other for one thing and the rest we buy with no prompts or list. We've been together 10 years and so far no shit presents.

Yes - I tell DP exactly what I want, along with a link. Otherwise he'll spend a load of money on yet another piece of expensive jewellery that I won't ever wear.

This year he's giving me a kiln :)

We do a mixture of Amazon wish lists that we curate and manage through the year for birthdays and Christmas and then we both add in surprises. It does make for an extravagant Christmas though.

I buy my own presents and give to my husband to wrap. Otherwise there's a good chance of returning on Boxing Day.

It has to be a surprise or it’s not a gift

I felt the same until the year of shit gifts. And when it was clear I really wanted x and totally not y or z.

Felt deeply unromantic the first year we did it and like actually getting what you wanted for every subsequent year

Have another

I made a general wish list as inspiration this year that was generic like "nice PJs" "cotton socks" "yarn" (I love knitting!)
It was used by all family including my husband but I know he has also gone off piste too.

DH can be quite hit and miss so this year for my birthday and Christmas I wrote a few specific things I wanted. Not many but enough so he could pick one. I know that he has bought me some surprise gifts too. Normally they are mostly OK but I have had upside down wine glasses two years in a row now..... He also bought me ponchos 4 years running. Only worn 2 of them. The poor charity shop hates me 😂😂😂😂😂

@Wafflesnsniffles oooh don’t mind if I do!

We’ve been together a long time, we’ve done all the big ticket gifts to each other eternity rings, watches, Barbour jacket, bags etc and we buy what we want throughout the year. So we still buy each other stocking filler type presents but we definitely tell each other what we’d like. Good for you OP that you and your spouse are so in sync though!

DH knows me well enough to buy a gift that I would like and enjoy, of course he does. However I always give him a general idea, because it's stressful enough buying for everyone else in our lives that we don't need to add the stress of faffing trying to find the perfect gift for each other when we can just tell each other what we're fancying.
I hate surprises. Hate them with all of existence. They make me anxious. So knowing what I'm getting sets my mind at ease.