Embarrassing shit your kid has done?

[Coughly]

My son (11 months) apparently now finds it hilarious to "cough". It's a fake cough, but he thinks it's awesome and does it repeatedly now to anyone we see. As you can appreciate, in the current climate it's obviously not great! 🤦‍♀️ I think it started when he had an actual cough a few months back and he realised it got him attention when he did it!

I've heard friends horror stories of their toddlers/young children pointing out a stranger's spot or equally awkward things! Anyone got any stories to lighten up our Tuesday?

My daughter told her (very handsome male) teacher all about my hairy Fanny and how I have to sometimes pluck hairs out of my tit.
Oh, and how funny it was that mummy grew an actual beard while pregnant with my son.
Thanks babe.

@OGenkiDesuKa
That made me LOL!
My LO is only 2, she hasn’t said or done anything too embarrassing yet. But I’m settling in to hear some more horror stories!

Mine wont be as funny as these but I was mortified when DS brought a picture home from school 'daddy giving beer to baby brother'.

@OGenkiDesuKa

My daughter told her (very handsome male) teacher all about my hairy Fanny and how I have to sometimes pluck hairs out of my tit. Oh, and how funny it was that mummy grew an actual beard while pregnant with my son. Thanks babe.

😂😂😂😂

@OGenkiDesuKa

Noooooooooooooooooooo!

Somebody (don't recall who) asked my DS "What does your mum do?" - obviously meaning a job - he replied "My mummy drinks whiskey"

My dd escaped the garden through a hole in the fence and had a poo under the neighbours tree. I couldn't blame a fox, she left her doll behind as evidence.

My 6yo keeps saying loudly about santa.

9yo was asking why dc2 friend was so little - in front of the kid.

When I was on my (light last day) period and dd was 2 or 3 years old and I used a toilet in the shopping centre (took her in with me obvs) she started screaming at the top of her voice that I'd poo pooed myself in my pants as I had a bit of brownish blood on my panty liner. Wasn't embarrassing at all when I came out to wash my hands and everyone's sniggering thinking I've shat myself . Thanks for that dd

We were once asked about what our boys had for dinner one evening as 'chilled monkey brains' sounded off.

Obviously it was from Indiana Jones, but ours was in fact stuffed peppers it was the lid on the top that made us name them that!

I have blocked anything more embarrassing from my mind

Making my then 4 year old walk instead of riding in the buggy as he wanted, by pointing out he was a big boy now and it was lazy to go in the buggy.

Got to the post office to find a man in a wheel chair. "Is he lazy mummy? Is he not a big boy?". Luckily he found it funny but I was mortified.

And dc1 around 7 crawling around the pitch in afterschool rugby. The teacher wasnt stopping and i had to stand and watch with other parents

My DD decided to in reception get dressed in the morning in her school clothes. Dropped her off at school. She was wearing my special “period pants” they kept falling down at school. When I picked her up the Very lovely TA brought them out in a little bag “I believe these are yours?” In front of all the other parents!!!!

My DD when aged about 2 1/2, laughed and pointed at a lady in the shopping queue in front of us and said pretty loudly 'look at that ladys funny hair mummy'. I was mortified. She'd never once commented on how anyone looks before so I really wasn't prepared.

I sort of just said to her, oh yes, its lovely. Its really pretty isn't it.

To be fair, the woman did have the weirdest hairstyle going on. Think pippi longstocking plaits that curled upwards. In bright green. She must've braided wire into it to get it to stand up.
But still, we had a little chat after that.

While getting our d.s to first use the toilet we used to say "don't forget to tuck your willy down". One time we were out he went to the toilet and I went after him. As I sit down he tells me "don't forget to tuck your willy down mummy". God knows what the lady in the cubicle next to us thought.

Open fire at a friends house ,she had 2 toddlers I had 3 ,mine thought the coal was balls to play with ,white carpet ..I literally left the room for 1 minute.
But seriously,who has an open fire and a white carpet with toddlers

When my dd was young 3 ish I was in the town when we saw a very large man dd piped up with "mommy look that mans got a baby in his tummy" complete with pointing. When I didnt acknowledge her she got louder until she was practically shouting "mummy look at that man big tummy with a baby"

Oh these are GOOD! Thank you

These are hilarious

When my youngest DS was about 3. He suddenly pooed his pants in a shop, before we could grab him and take him to an appropriate place to deal with the poop, he grabbed the turd right out of his pants and preceded to throw it down the aisle.

Mortified is an understatement!!!!

Had to take nursery aged DD to reception aged DDs SENCO meetings. Little angel, sat quietly in the corner drawing and colouring. End of the 45min meeting, teacher complimented her behaviour and asked about her drawing.
"Its my family. There's me, there's sister, there's mummy and that's Daddy with the big fat bottom".

While struggling to contain her laughter I was asked when the school was due to get her. And looked terrified at the answer of being in a few weeks when the next term began. She did keep them on their toes (school was from three in that country)

Dc1 in the middle of a very busy car park at about the age of 2 decided that not only would he physically resist all attempts to get him in his car seat, he would also vocally add to it with "let me go! I don't know you! I DON'T KNOW YOU!!! Where's mummy?" I was so embarrassed and flustered- I was absolutely convinced someone was going to call the police. Luckily I think everyone who saw us (there were a few concerned glances), realised that he was definitely mine as he's basically my carbon copy and I was practically in tears at this point which I doubt is typical kidnapper behaviour

Took DS 3 to the farm and they had a section to hold some animals. He then proceeded to sneeze about 6 times on a tortoise and the lady holding it, then merrily skipped away. I was so embarrassed

Also, like many military children, person in uniform= daddy. Colonels and generals find this funny. 18yo Privates find it terrifying.

18 month old has started saying ‘clock’ very loudly whenever she sees one except she can’t pronounce the ‘L’ bit 😳🤔😂

DC decided to shout top of his voice whilst waving a box of nipple pads in the very busy chemist ‘MUM I GOT THESE FOR YOUR LEAKY MILKY BOOBIES’ (had just had dc2). Safe to say I wanted to run out very fast.