Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Embarrassing shit your kid has done?

210 replies

Coughly · 21/12/2021 14:15

My son (11 months) apparently now finds it hilarious to "cough". It's a fake cough, but he thinks it's awesome and does it repeatedly now to anyone we see. As you can appreciate, in the current climate it's obviously not great! 🤦‍♀️ I think it started when he had an actual cough a few months back and he realised it got him attention when he did it!

I've heard friends horror stories of their toddlers/young children pointing out a stranger's spot or equally awkward things! Anyone got any stories to lighten up our Tuesday?

OP posts:
TakeMe2Insanity · 21/12/2021 16:02

Son age 2, frequently on airplanes would shout and point “MAN” at the prettiest air stewardess on the plane!

SportsMother · 21/12/2021 16:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gingercat02 · 21/12/2021 16:09

Not my kids, but my brother used to love the feel of women's tights and used to stroke their legs (he was a toddler not a perve)

Wiredforsound · 21/12/2021 16:09

I was in a loo in busy public toilets and my 3 year old yelled, “MUMMY, WHY IS YOUR MINKIE SO FLUFFY?” I swear it could be heard in space.

SmellyOldPartridgeinaPearTree · 21/12/2021 16:11

When DS was three I met my aunt in the park to go for a walk. There we bumped into my friends husband and his sister and their kids. All standing chatting and DS suddenly drops his trousers, and takes a wizz right in the middle of the grass beside everyone Blush he has no shame!

Cupcakeschocolate · 21/12/2021 16:13

Then do aged 5. Shouted across the playground at pick up time, "guys, guess what, my mum bleeds from her bum! And she has to wear nappies" Cue all parents staring at me. I was on my period.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 21/12/2021 16:14

My two year old DS ran up to a mannequin in a clothes shop and shrieked "look, Mummy, breasts!” as he attempted to reach up and cup them, despite clearly being waaaay too short. Reader, I died... ⚰️

Splodgerbodgerbadger · 21/12/2021 16:16

When DD was about three we were sat in a hospital waiting room and she shouted at the top of her voice ‘Mummy, look at that big cock on the wall’! (It was a clock).

Then she told one of my friends that she got a frozen cock for her birthday. My friend was laughing her head off at that.

Thank goodness she can say clock now.

Cornishbelle · 21/12/2021 16:20

Going to show my age a bit now but o still remember a tale mum told me about how I embarrassed her. We were in the greengrocers, and the chap that ran it was almost totally bald. As he crouched down to select the apples we were buying a looked him straight in the eye and asked "do you polish your head with pledge? " as it was so shiny!! Shock

He luckily took it very well and said, "no, I just give it a flick over with a duster now and again" Grin

Billyliarohdear · 21/12/2021 16:20

My ds once received one of those pocket money cardboard airplanes from an elderly aunt. As she proudly handed him it he looked at her and said " These are a waste of money. They're rubbish- Mum said".
( DS had seen them in a local shop and wanted to buy half a dozen of them once).

Billyliarohdear · 21/12/2021 16:23

My DD once told my PILs that "mummy puts lots of toilet roll in her pants"Blush.

Cornishbelle · 21/12/2021 16:23

Remember my son who was 3 at the time saying top of his voice in shopping centre toilets "we're different aren't we mummy? Because I have a willy and you have a little hole Shock maybe you will grow a willy when you're older Confused

RaginaPhalange · 21/12/2021 16:25

Shopping in lidl and I sent ds to ask his dad to grab something can't remember what but he started shouting 'Daddy, mummy wants some Buckfast, can you get some buckfast' to which my dh replied 'what?' 'Buckfast daddy, that's what mummy wants.'

ChrissyPlummer · 21/12/2021 16:28

Took DN out for tea just after her 5th birthday. She picked McDonalds. Wanted the loo so I go with her, lady in the next cubicle (there were only 2) was farting a LOT. DN: What’s that noise aunty Chrissy?” Me: “Nothing, just have a wee.” DN: “But it’s REALLY loud!” Me (whispers) “I’ll just have a wee, then we’ll go back to Bob and Susan (my DH and her DSis)”.

DN: “I like your knickers Aunty Chrissy, they match your tattoo!”

Laughter from next cubicle, me redder than a tomato! Grin

toddybell · 21/12/2021 16:52

My toddler to someone at the park "mummy, that man looks like an egg" (to the man's face. He was bald).

Another time at the hospital when a doctor walked in to check DC over after a fall- "you're fat".

At the supermarket: "I WANT CHOCOLATE PEANUTS!!!" (DC has a slight lisp so the peanuts came out as penis). Got a lot of stares from people around us.

Haveyoubrushedyourteethtoday · 21/12/2021 16:55

My son pointed at a man with pretty severe dwarfism ( who was thankfully out of earshot) and said: mum look at that ugly toddler…

I think he was about 4 at the time.

cheninblanc · 21/12/2021 17:24

My daughter asked why my mum was hoovering again when she'd only done it the day before and told my mum that I only hoovered when the cat got fleas!

GrumpyLivesInMyHouseNow · 21/12/2021 17:28

Asking me very loudly in a public toilet, which we'd have to queue to get in, why I had a 'hairy bottom' (she meant fanny, but I was still mortified and heard many sniggers from the queuing women

Picklypickles · 21/12/2021 17:45

When my son was about 2 we were at a soft play, he was happily driving about in a cosy coupe and his sister had my attention for a few minutes when all of a sudden a bit of a commotion starts in cosy coupe town and a woman starts loudly demanding to know "whose child is this". It's my son, he's had an explosion of poop out of his nappy and all over the cosy coupe and now all the parents are grabbing their children and fleeing the scene! Thankfully the staff were very kind and understanding, we've not been back though!

FateHasRedesignedMost · 21/12/2021 17:48

My son on the bus, aged about 4, looking at the tattooed woman in front who had paw print tattoos on her shoulders and neck

‘Mummy, I think a cat with muddy feet has walked on her and she didn’t notice’

She turned around and glared at us 😳😂🤦🏻‍♀️

stuntbubbles · 21/12/2021 17:48

2yo DD to everyone she meets currently: “Mummy has a hairy fanny and Daddy has a big dangly fanny! But I just got a bum-bum.”

Newuser82 · 21/12/2021 17:50

My son was about 3 when waiting at the hospital for an appointment saw a bald man and shrieked at the top of his voice while pointing…Baldy!! Was mortified and still don’t know where he got that from!

countrygirl99 · 21/12/2021 17:58

DS1 has always been obsessed by cars but when he was little he couldn't say "racing" it came out as "wang". One day we were in Curry's and he was watching F1 on the TVs. He pointed at them.and was telling DH there are "wang cars".

Nc123 · 21/12/2021 17:58

My son at 2 and a half went with my visiting aunt to our local convenience store. While in the shop he remarked seemingly out of the blue, “my daddy has a great big bottom and a great big SHOOJ willy! It’s shooj.”

My poor husband! Every time he went in that shop for months everyone who worked there would be winking at him and sniggering.

AmyDudley · 21/12/2021 17:58

My 5 year old DS wrote in his school news book ' My Mummy bought me a highball'
What he failed to mention was that highball was the name of one of the fireworks we had bought for bonfire night.
Didn't help that the accompanying picture he drew showed the whole family cavorting about in the garden having a very jolly time.