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AIBU?

IN wanting to set up a Mumsnet No Man's (Mum's) Land between BFers & FFers?

246 replies

Iklboo · 14/12/2007 13:59

We're NEVER going to agree on this subject so I'm setting up a nice quiet bunker somewhere in the middle entitled

"I DID WHAT WAS BEST FOR MY BABY AND I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS LA LA LA LA LA"

Not being flippant, disrespecful, rude or anything like that. Just neutral.

OP posts:

Report

PrisonerCellBlockAitch · 14/12/2007 23:00

oh fgs, polly. it's so much more complicated than that for some people and by refusing to acknowledge that as per your previous posts you are utterly dismissing their feelings. which does not, as you have observed, make them happy.

Austin · 14/12/2007 23:01

I also think that if you drink and smoke while BF then probably FF would be better for child

Austin · 14/12/2007 23:01

or is that just a no-brainer.

Prisoner I dont know why youre agressive, im just agreeing with polly

PrisonerCellBlockAitch · 14/12/2007 23:03

is that true, though? because what you think doesn't really matter, if there's evidence that you're wrong.

PrisonerCellBlockAitch · 14/12/2007 23:04

i'm not being aggressive. i'm exasperated, that's not the same thing.

Desiderata · 14/12/2007 23:04

Oh, would you quit giving polly a hard time? It's the same old, same old, every bloody time.

There is nothing irrational about her posts, but something vaguely irrational about some of the responses.

For every mother who tells you her bf child is free of allergy, another will pop up and tell you quite the opposite. The same is true of ff babies. If I showed you a rugby 15, do you honestly think you'd be able to tell who was breastfed and who was formula fed?

It's a small issue in a lifetime of parenting, and the wish the whole damned subject could be dropped. I really do.

BeeWiseMen · 14/12/2007 23:05

but polly, not all of us can be so laissez-faire about it. Some of us feel that we were unneccessarily driven to ff. That eats away at you. You were happy with your choices. Please don't be so quick to dismiss the pain of women who ffed against their better judgement and desires. And don't dismiss the research that shows bf is best for babies on the basis of your sample of 3 children.

Austin · 14/12/2007 23:05

was that to me? not sure Im getting you

pollypumpkin · 14/12/2007 23:07

I would never refused to acknowledge that things are not complicated for some people, as you put it. In fact, things are extremely complicated for most people, tbh. I would never intentionally dismiss anyone's feelings. I wish you would stop this now, as you are showing yourself up as a bully.

PrisonerCellBlockAitch · 14/12/2007 23:07

desi, it's hardly rational to disagree with vast swathes of research on the basis of two kids.

Desiderata · 14/12/2007 23:08

But why can't polly base her views on her three children? What's wrong with that?

PrisonerCellBlockAitch · 14/12/2007 23:08

Bully Bingo! i call it! brilliant.

pollypumpkin · 14/12/2007 23:09

Blimey - I did a post... then there were about 10 other ones there all of a sudden!!!

PrisonerCellBlockAitch · 14/12/2007 23:09

because her position is that it, and i think i'm right to capitalise this as she did, DOESN'T MATTER whether you ff or bf, which is simply not the case. regardless of her opinion.

Austin · 14/12/2007 23:10

Well said Desiderata
Beewisemen I understand totally cause I know a lot of women who ffed and ended up PND cause of how they were made to feel. I have just had a baby and people do say almost on a weekly basis "do you BF" and when I say no they always kind of look atme as if "why not what the f* wrong with you"

Austin · 14/12/2007 23:11

Research also shows that my DCs would be much healthier if we lived in the mediterranean but some things just arent possible.

berolina · 14/12/2007 23:12

Yes Desi, it's a chronologically short period of time in the context of a parenting life, but my goodness, it's a small issue that matters, for some. It mattered desperately to me. All sorts of feelings and issues were bound up in my desperation to succeed (if I can use that possibly inappropriate expression) at bf, my dread of having to return to work, great insecurities about the kind of mother I am, all sorts. We struggled for weeks to esdtablish bf and we managed it and it seriously saved me from PND. It can't be the way forward in this to reduce the feelings of everyone who has ever cared and struggled about this with a 'it's just milk, it doesn't matter'.

'Nutritionally Suüperior' could, I suppose, mean it's got more iron or whatever in per ml than bm. Never mind that the baby can't access it in formula anywhere near as readily than it can in bm.

BeeWiseMen · 14/12/2007 23:12

yes I'm a bully for asking you not to dismiss other people's distress.

Your're confused by posting once and then getting 10 responses - are you familiar with how an internet forum works?

PrisonerCellBlockAitch · 14/12/2007 23:13

do they, austin? or do you just think they are? because it's unlikely that they care much either way, to be truthful. you may be seeing something you feel reflected back at you, tbh. i always felt humiliated when i pulled bottles out, thought people were 'judging' and apart from one genuinely hideous occasion i now see that they weren't, it was more about my feelings than theirs.

Desiderata · 14/12/2007 23:15

But I don't think it matters either, Aitch. Honestly, I don't.

Why can't we all just respect everyone else's opinion on the matter?

Polly is not a scientist, true. But is anyone else on this thread?

PrisonerCellBlockAitch · 14/12/2007 23:16

BWM, i think it was me who was being called a bully, don't worry about it.
austin, think about it like many more of us could live in the med if we had the support that the govt claims to give us. and we're allowed to feel let down and upset that we're not living in the med. some people take a 'that's life' approach, others don't. no point in dismissing the feelings of those who don't.

OComeOLIVEfaithfOIL · 14/12/2007 23:17

Desi

walk away from the thread

I am going to watch Run Lola Run

and have a break

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pollypumpkin · 14/12/2007 23:17

I am not laissez-faire. I came onto this thread to give support to BF mothers AND to FF mothers, according to my own personal experience, that's all. MY own personal experience, not claiming to have any research or anything else behind it. Please respect my right to express (no pun intended) my experience. The truth is, I DON'T HAVE A VIEW!!! IT MAY BE RIGHT TO BF, IT MAY BE RIGHT TO FF!! Fact is, I've done both. And SO FAR, i've not seen any huge benefit to my BF children (now aged nearly 11 and 9) over my FF Child. (NOW aged 7 and a half). If you BF, I respect you. If you FF, I respect you. Just Love them, be there for them. Bottom line is, THAT IS ALL, ALL, ALL, THAT MATTERS.

Austin · 14/12/2007 23:18

Both nicotine and alchohol spread through the body and have been found in breastmilk

berolina · 14/12/2007 23:18

(Love Run Lola Run. Fabulous film. )

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