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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be able to attend this with one weeks notice?

216 replies

HungryHippo11 · 14/09/2021 07:01

My daughter started reception last week. On Wednesday we had a letter telling us about a "meet the teacher" event this Wednesday at 4.30pm. Children are not allowed to come.

AIBU to think many parents will struggle to attend this meeting? My husband is going to have to work from home and just put the kids in front of the telly so that I can go. Other friends of mine are working, even if one parent isn't they can't go because they wouldn't have childcare.

Just wondering whether you would be able to make it with this short notice.
YABU - I could easily attend
YANBU - they should have given more notice or done it in the evening

OP posts:
shouldistop · 14/09/2021 07:02

I could attend but that's only because I'm on maternity leave and dh finishes work at 4pm and he's wfh.

Stretchandsnap · 14/09/2021 07:04

This is only the start - please come at 2.30pm for an Early year curriculum meeting, see you at 9.30am for phonics support, don’t forget the class assembly at 9am tomorrow, meet the teacher at 5pm
Primary is hell for working parents - the guilt!!

Ilookedatthesea · 14/09/2021 07:04

No, we'd really struggle. My work ROTA is prepared more than a week in advance and I'd really struggle to change it. Husband wfh but on shifts so again, he'd really struggle. We've had this repeatedly since DD started school last year. I can't believe in this day and age schools don't give more notice.

Milly90 · 14/09/2021 07:04

I could attend but only because dh works from home and I have the flex to leave the office early for things like this. We also have after school club till 6pm or both grandparents so we are extremely fortunate- so i voted yabu to reflect this but in all honesty yanbu its extremely short notice and shreiks disorganised

TheUnicornDuck · 14/09/2021 07:05

I find schools seem to think parents have nothing else to do but be at their back and call. Drives me mad. No we would be able to make it both of us work, we have other children who often have evening dance/swimming classes and other commitments.

Raindancer411 · 14/09/2021 07:05

Get ready for lots of last minute and poor communication...

rainbowandglitter · 14/09/2021 07:06

I could.I finish work at 12pm on Wednesdays although I could attend any meeting any day. I'm still WFH at the minute and do any hours I want so could easily nip out for something like that.

DGFB · 14/09/2021 07:06

Welcome to primary school. It is an endless round of things that working parents struggle to get to.

MadeOfStarStuff · 14/09/2021 07:06

I haven’t voted because I could attend because my work is reasonably flexible but I still think they should’ve given more notice.

Whinge · 14/09/2021 07:07

The vast majority of parents at my school wouldn't be able to attend. We run events like this in the evening or virtually.

Vaselike · 14/09/2021 07:08

Yup, this is how schools work.

Ours does provide a list of dates for the year that has most of the biggies in so, for example, I already know when the Christmas play will be. But it’s still dreadful.

Wole · 14/09/2021 07:08

No I wouldn't be able to go. And then I'd feel really guilty about it.

bonzo77 · 14/09/2021 07:10

Nope. Our school does very little of this. Gives plenty of notice and most of it is on line now.

lemonsyellow · 14/09/2021 07:10

No, I couldn’t. My DC primary school didn’t have any events like these in the school day, as of course many parents couldn’t go.

WaterBottle123 · 14/09/2021 07:10

Ha no way I'd go. Completely unnecessary.

This year ours was on zoom and I still didn't go, because I knew they'd send the slide pack after.

Primaries love to create busy-work to undermine working parents. Just say no.

bonzo77 · 14/09/2021 07:10

I mean nope: I wouldn’t be able to do this at short notice.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 14/09/2021 07:11

Its the no children bit that complicates it. DH weekly commutes. So it depends if PIL are available, and they live 90 minutes away.

Bunnycat101 · 14/09/2021 07:11

Nope and I’m not attending a curriculum meeting on that basis and loads of the other parents can’t either. I don’t think it would be beyond the wit of man to send out a doodle poll to check availability before organising. They’ve also done it on the heaviest day for wrap around care attendance so it is obviously it is a day lots of parents are working.

jillandhersprite · 14/09/2021 07:11

One of the few benefits of last year's restrictions was that there was none of this last 2 years as parents not allowed in school.
Our school is a mixture of well organised with the odd last minute guilt trip...

SheWoreYellow · 14/09/2021 07:12

Children are not allowed to come? That’s unusual.

I haven’t voted because I can be flexible with my hours, but they still could have given you some more notice.

MiddleParking · 14/09/2021 07:13

I would because my parents would help me and my work is flexible, but I still think it’s ridiculous.

PileOfBooks · 14/09/2021 07:16

Ours have a curriculum meeting the first week of every year. However its fine if kids come (I think reception and yr1 used to have a spare teacher to supervise some play in the reception area even!)

Briony123 · 14/09/2021 07:17

When our children were younger they would all be pottering in the classroom/play area while the parents were sitting on tiny chairs listening attentively to their teacher. This was max 5 years ago. Check with school that the children will be allowed to play on the carpet.

Donatella · 14/09/2021 07:17

Schools can't win on this kind of thing - OFSTED expect them to show they are engaging with parents by organising these events, if they plan them for daytime then working parents can't attend, if evenings then it eats in to dinner/bath/bed. Yes, they could give more notice but it wouldn't make much difference for most people, and in a way it takes off the pressure of trying to rearrange your whole day for a 15min meeting. I think as you go through primary you realise that you /your children won't miss out if you can't make everything, and you prioritise the ones the kids will prioritise - the nativities etc. Schools know not everyone will attend these meetings and there won't be any vital info that you can't get any other way.

ANameChangeAgain · 14/09/2021 07:18

I'm sure some schools don't think parents, mothers specifically actually work. Even if they didn't, where are you supposed to pull child supervision from before the working day finishes?
Meet the teacher at my dc's primary was always at school pick up with children in attendance. It was always well attended.
I remember chuckling and eye rolling with another parent during Mums' Day, when the Deputy Head thanked us for taking a day off from doing the washing and housework to attend the day at school! Looking along the row there were a couple of business owners, a university lecturer, an accountant etc etc; but no, all we took a day off from was housework Hmm