Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be able to attend this with one weeks notice?

216 replies

HungryHippo11 · 14/09/2021 07:01

My daughter started reception last week. On Wednesday we had a letter telling us about a "meet the teacher" event this Wednesday at 4.30pm. Children are not allowed to come.

AIBU to think many parents will struggle to attend this meeting? My husband is going to have to work from home and just put the kids in front of the telly so that I can go. Other friends of mine are working, even if one parent isn't they can't go because they wouldn't have childcare.

Just wondering whether you would be able to make it with this short notice.
YABU - I could easily attend
YANBU - they should have given more notice or done it in the evening

OP posts:
diddl · 14/09/2021 08:27

I'm not in UK.

When my son started primary, his teacher came to meet us!

RubyFowler · 14/09/2021 08:29

@diddl

I'm not in UK.

When my son started primary, his teacher came to meet us!

I believe that also happened in an episode of Topsy and Tim!
suredsun · 14/09/2021 08:30

Depends whether you work or not and whether you do the kind of job you can work through your lunch break and leave an hour early.
Since becoming a parent I have always only had jobs where this kind of thing is usually fine. There was another mum who had a child in my DD's class, she was a full-on PTA mum, involved in everything going for the first three years I knew her - until her second child started school and she went back to work - then I literally never saw her again! Grandma did everything after that.

Seemssounfair · 14/09/2021 08:32

It continues through their entire school career so get used to it. These things are generally a waste of both the teachers and parents time anyway.

Myusernameisnotmyusernameno · 14/09/2021 08:34

My daughter's school are doing this online so we can be at home for it. Yes I agree with others, the first couple of years of primary there's a lot of this kind of thing.

Didyousaynutella · 14/09/2021 08:34

No I couldn’t attend.
Nhs. No flexibility whatsoever in my job.

Whinge · 14/09/2021 08:34

Depends whether you work or not and whether you do the kind of job you can work through your lunch break and leave an hour early.

Even if you have a job that would allow you to attend, you would still have the problem of finding alternative childcare for your child.

Generallystruggling · 14/09/2021 08:35

Nope but then I also couldn’t attend parents evening if they said children couldn’t come. I tend to go before they finish school so they don’t sit with me but I always have my two toddlers.

SoupDragon · 14/09/2021 08:37

It isn't just working parents that would have a problem with this. Single parents would struggle too.

WaltzForDebbie · 14/09/2021 08:44

I'm a sahm mum and I hardly ever go to these meetings. Pointless waste of time. You never learn anything useful.

I also have to arrange childcare which is hard as I have a kid with special needs.

ZenNudist · 14/09/2021 08:44

My work is flexible but it's not a given that dh will be around to look after dc. My school let dc play in playground whilst parents meetings are going in.

It's the same at my school for lack of notice.

I don't mind the school doing things in working hours if they gave notice at the start of the term. There's little excuse for the way they do things.

mdh2020 · 14/09/2021 08:45

I explained to my children that I couldn’t attend assemblies because I was working and my money paid for holidays or whatever and they accepted it. I taught in secondary school and we found that whether we had parents’ consultations at 4.30 or 7.30 , the same parents turned up. Teachers are parents too and there was nothing worse than having to arrange childcare and sit around in school till 7.30 to meet parents.

qualitygirl · 14/09/2021 08:46

Yes because I have flexi time, as does dh. So one of us could go.

Comedycook · 14/09/2021 08:46

I think they assume everyone is a sahm with a willing grandparent living next door

TheYearOfSmallThings · 14/09/2021 08:47

When my son started primary, his teacher came to meet us!

Actually the schools around here do home visits before Reception (east London). Not in the pandemic, but they like to see where their incoming cohort are coming from.

Wiredforsound · 14/09/2021 08:51

Pick and choose your meetings. Some of these are important, some aren’t. You meet the teacher every morning anyway.

Rosebel · 14/09/2021 08:51

I'd be able to attend as I work mornings and my husband finishes at 4:15 but could leave a bit earlier if need be.
I still think it's ridiculous and they should have given more notice though.

Yogsgirl · 14/09/2021 08:54

It's not that schools are thoughtless about working parents, it's just that they try their best to involve parents but it's impossible to please everyone. Some parents work, some don't, some have grandparents on hand, some don't etc.

When exactly would you like them to hold their celebration assembly? Open day? Coffee morning etc? family craft session etc?

Teachers have already worked all day teaching their class- staying after school to try to establish relationships with parents for a couple of hours is extra work, but you are not grateful- you want them to stay even later to fit around your working day too?

As a working parent you have to accept that you will either have to use holidays to attend some school events or not attend them.

SnarkyMilarky · 14/09/2021 08:54

I just park my kid outside with an iPad. Or let them play in the school playground. It’s not a problem unless you make it so.

Getawaywithit · 14/09/2021 09:01

Presumably this is directed time for the teachers. Also wouldn't you expect to be at school late that 4.30pm anyway - I never left before 5 when I was teaching

Presumably.

Good for you. If you work at a distance, have a motorway and tons of traffic to contend with and an early closing childcare place then no, not leaving after 5.

SE13Mummy · 14/09/2021 09:05

I've not voted because whilst I couldn't easily attend, I don't expect primary schools to run something like that in the evening. More notice would have been nice but most reception classes didn't start until last week anyway round here. Having a parent who is able to WFH and can sit the children in front of the TV at home for the duration of the session whilst the other parent attends is a very fortunate position to be in.

DH and I are both teachers and at our own schools at 4.30pm. When our DDs were that age, we each had one weekday off school so would attend the things that happened on those days but would miss everything else. DH teaches secondary but I'm a primary teacher and always try to find another time for parents with inflexible jobs to come in and meet me, see the classroom etc. and my DDs' teachers have always been good at doing the same. On a 1:1 level it also doesn't matter if children come along too as no one else is going to be distracted by them.

Exhausted5487 · 14/09/2021 09:05

I could easily attend but I don't think yabu to raise it because there are lot who couldn't. Even allowing children to come would help make it more possible for some (but not all obviously).

arethereanyleftatall · 14/09/2021 09:06

Regarding the short notice.

This is September and reception, so parents are new to the school.

This is the one time when short notice is understandable isn't it?

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 14/09/2021 09:12

It's fair enough that they arrange times that work for them. They do need to understand that in order for a lot of parents to attend they need to give plenty of notice and accept that children will be there.
And surely they could record sessions and put them on whatever platform they were using for remote education last year.

Anycrispsleft · 14/09/2021 09:13

When exactly would you like them to hold their celebration assembly? Open day? Coffee morning etc? family craft session etc?

...never?

I'm keen on one to one discussions of the kids' progress, but if they want to e.g. give us tips on how to help with homework, I would much rather do that by zoom or just get an email. And as for the social stuff... I wouldn't mind maybe one or two assemblies a year where the kids get to perform. But all the rest of it could go in the bin for me. It just sets the kids up for disappointment if their parents can't make it, and socialising with people I only know through the kids is just work to me, basically.