Would you be able to attend this with one weeks notice?

[HungryHippo11]

My daughter started reception last week. On Wednesday we had a letter telling us about a "meet the teacher" event this Wednesday at 4.30pm. Children are not allowed to come.

AIBU to think many parents will struggle to attend this meeting? My husband is going to have to work from home and just put the kids in front of the telly so that I can go. Other friends of mine are working, even if one parent isn't they can't go because they wouldn't have childcare.

Just wondering whether you would be able to make it with this short notice.
YABU - I could easily attend
YANBU - they should have given more notice or done it in the evening

Yes I'd be able to go, but it would take quite a lot of arranging and calling in favours so I'd be rolling my eyes at it. As pp said, School’s are thoughtless about working parents.
When ds started school they said that parents had to attend the child's first lunch in the hall with them (couldn't go otherwise and had to be collected ) my ds had been eating lunch in the hall with his nursery class without issue for a year, but no he needed me there.
I managed ok because I have a lovely, understanding boss. The mum in front of me in the queue had to use a whole day of annual leave to cover it.
And they didn't even give the parents any lunch!!

Yanbu but this is perfectly normal for primary schools. All activities are run on the assumption that every child has a SAHP and also one or more nearby grandparents or other relatives who are able to offer unlimited free childcare on demand.

The thing i found most difficult was that i had to supply the names and contact details of not just one but two people who could be called upon to collect a child andlook after them in the event thar both parents are uncontrollable. All my family and closest friends live at least an hour's drive away. The friends i have who love in the same city are generally casual acquaintances, not people who can be expected to drop everything to provide emergency childcare.

However, this is what the next 7 years will be like.

In answer to your question - they simply don't expect everyone to come. They are offering the opportunity at a time that isn't too inconvenient to the teachers, in the full knowledge that only a privileged few families will have the capacity to be able to attend. They will be planning on about a 20-30% attendance rate.

I could, I'm a sahp and I'd just have a friend to have my dc.

But, really, apart from give more notice, what can schools actually do? Every possible option they have - someone would complain about.

So, best way to get around it. Is to remember it's not mandatory. Go if you can, don't worry if you can't.

This is normal for schools I am afraid. We parents used to coordinate and all meet at school playground and then watch each other’s children while we popped in for our teacher meeting.

For work, I would book using annual leave for time off to leave early or go in late. A weeks notice was enough time. No different than if your child is sick and you have to go get them from school, only more notice.

I was a sahm but I still wouldn't have been able to go because who is going to mind my children while I'm in there?

It's almost as if none of the teachers at my DC's school have ever been parents. Don't get me started on meetings which end 20 minutes before the end of school, leaving you waiting outside as there isn't any point in going home

@Stretchandsnap

This is only the start - please come at 2.30pm for an Early year curriculum meeting, see you at 9.30am for phonics support, don’t forget the class assembly at 9am tomorrow, meet the teacher at 5pm Primary is hell for working parents - the guilt!!

Exactly! Dd is in year 7 now thank goodness. Don't get me started on dress like a Roman day (and recreate Rome using toilet roll tubes as a half terma fun project), WBD, wear something turquoise day, bloody coffee mornings, parents evening 3-5pm..

And that's before anyone dares to cough..

These events would be much better moved online from now on.

@Bunnycat101

Nope and I’m not attending a curriculum meeting on that basis and loads of the other parents can’t either. I don’t think it would be beyond the wit of man to send out a doodle poll to check availability before organising. They’ve also done it on the heaviest day for wrap around care attendance so it is obviously it is a day lots of parents are working.

A doodle pole for every single thing that happens at primary school, is possibly the stupidest suggestion I've ever seen on here.

I couldn't, I'm missing my DD's Year 2 one this afternoon as I'm working and by the time they published the date I had meetings booked in that couldn't be rearranged to facilitate leave or an early finish. I do feel guilty as I miss a lot of these type of events. I think primary schools do still operate on the somewhat outdated principle that there is a parent who is always at home

No I couldn’t, what I find so bizarre about these kind of requests is that the teachers in the school are themselves working, and wouldn’t therefore be able to go to an external meeting during their working hours, so why do schools think other parents don’t have similar work commitments?

I only work part-time and live 5 minutes from the school and I'd not be able to make this with one week's notice.

Teachers are also people with lives, partners, children, childcare, and caring responsibilities. We also need to be places and arrange for others to sort childcare outside of our normal working hours.

In the nicest way, get used to it!

Also get used to missing the memo because you’re so busy and realising you have an hour to whip up a full -insert colour/theme here- outfit for non-uniform day out of stuff around the house!

We could do so it quite easily but only because we are both working at home with flexible employers who would be fine with it, and the school is only 5 mins walk away. I know how fortunate we are in that respect - I do think schools assume that there is a stay at home parent in each household though. The no sibling rule is a bit tricky even for a stay at home parent, can your friend explain to the school that they can't attend if they can't bring the sibling? There must be some flexibility surely?

Welcome to the world of primary schools where they seem to think that all mums sit at home with nothing else to do and there are no other children to be factored in. Actually, make it all schools. DD has just started Yr7 so I wasn't expecting to be as involved but they seem to be making it very complicated.
What I did do was keep a list of all events which I'd been invited to each term at short notice. We gradually collated this into a sort of unofficial handbook which subsequent years were given with the new joiner stuff as a heads up that in the first month they'd be a couple of welcome events and a harvest festival and something like Jeans for Genes; in the second half of term there would be Children in Need or similar and the nativity play etc
Having overheard a teacher moaning about how unsupportive a particular couple of families were, I challenged the fact that events always took place at the same time (not quite Wednesdays at 4.30 but similar) as this was most convenient for the teacher but for the families with work/childcare issues who couldn't make it, they just had the same problem each time. What I found really bizarre was that the teacher moaning had primary aged children herself at a different school and, due to the nature of teaching, missed (and moaned about) missing their events as she was at work.
One advantage of Covid was being able to attend these things remotely. The DC's primary school really noticed an increase in the number of fathers attending (often as well as the mother) and that there were less disruptions (probably as siblings were in front of the TV rather than being given a set of car keys to jangle) and so are now doing sessions in person and on line which is a result as far as I'm concerned. The secondary school were insisting on doing everything in person but have so many children off with Covid that they've realised that that isn't feasible just yet!

I work very part time but I wouldn't have childcare so couldn't. The reason I work very part time is because childcare is a nightmare here and we have no family to help so I work when dh is home.

Our primary school used to do this. I had nobody to help with childcare and used to take them along and leave them in the school library of the corridor outside for the duration. The choice was that or not attend.

So after your kids are home but don't bring them? Surely very few could make it!!

Ask them a) what info working/single parents will be given, b) what working/single parents are supposed to do with their kids when there's a meeting, & c) if they personally could attend a similar meeting at a different site, during work hours, with that amount of notice. You'll probably get the usual excuses, but hopefully next time they will think about it a bit better.

Possibly. I work flexi time, but I also have a very full diary. Usually takes me 3 weeks to find a “window” .

Sorry to tell you, it doesn’t get any better! My advice: Try and put everything in the diary as soon as you get the school calendar. That won’t stop all the last minute things but might help a bit.

This Motherland clip is so perfect.

m.facebook.com/BBCOne/videos/962139014537358/?refsrc=deprecated&_rdr

I really hate the comments like 'do they think we have nothing else to do?'

Stop being silly. Seriously. It's annoying. Of course they don't think that. But what else can they do? They have to put on these events, (ofsted, other parents complaining that they haven't met the teacher). They can't do it in the evening (bed time, single parents can't attend, not fair on teachers). They can't have kids there (too many ruin it for people to actually listen).

What do you actually think teachers can do??

This always surprises me considering the majority of primary teachers are female and many of them are parents.
They are all very quick to point out their job doesn't finish at 3pm.

What is the point of meet the teacher, though? I have never heard of such a thing. Surely you meet the teacher when you drop off or pick up from school or at a parent-teacher meeting