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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Party warning from neighbours

249 replies

partyondoon · 25/08/2021 18:22

NC.
Someone who lives on the road at the back of us has posted a note through the doors of the neighbouring properties with a party noise warning on it. It seems nice to warn us of a sleepless night due to their disco marquee scheduled to end around 2am but it also seems a bit like we've told you there's a big party so you can't complain. No one on this road knows them (v small quiet road) so it's quite bemusing to get these notes. Is this a thing to do? ASD adult and dc here and we don't understand party etiquette very well.
Sorry for posting here btw. I do know that it can be frowned up.

OP posts:
TheUndoingProject · 25/08/2021 19:02

I think it’s good manners. Means you can plan to be out or arrange ear plugs etc. I also find I seethe less if I know in advance what time the music will stop! I mean it would be cheeky to do it all the time, but for a big birthday or whatever I appreciate the warning.

icedcoffees · 25/08/2021 19:04

I do think it's polite for them to let you know.

But, that being said, I'd be really pissed off if a neighbour of mine was planning a noisy party until 2am.

girlmom21 · 25/08/2021 19:04

I agree it's very courteous of them but I still wouldn't be happy with a party until 2am, even if it is a one off. If they want to do that they should hire a private hall.

Not that they'll be able to because I'm sure you can't even get a late license until 2am.

saraclara · 25/08/2021 19:05

@GetOffTheTableMabel

It’s good manners. People who are able to can plan to be out or away for the night and those who have to put up with it may feel less bothered by it because they know what it is. I would definitely find this reassuring. Rather than worry that we had acquired some new, noisy neighbours, I would relax in the knowledge that it was a one-off.
All of that. I hate outside noise that I'm not in control of, and an unexpected loud event like that would usually stress me out. But a note like this makes it feel very different. My mind copes far, far better if I have prior warning, know that it's a one-off, and that the people are decent enough to care about their neighbours.

And yep, if you have kids or animals, it allows you to plan how to manage it with them. Though my kids always slept through this kind of thing!

tigger1001 · 25/08/2021 19:07

@icedcoffees

I do think it's polite for them to let you know.

But, that being said, I'd be really pissed off if a neighbour of mine was planning a noisy party until 2am.

Totally agree.
kurtney · 25/08/2021 19:14

My ndn used to warn us when her son was having party (3 or 4 times a year). We lived in a terraced house and the son would bring in a professional sound system and they'd play music til 4 or 5 in the morning. It was so loud, the walls would vibrate and it was like being in a nightclub. Sleep (or anything even) was virtually impossible.

It was polite of her to let us know, but made no difference in terms of how we felt about the party and I still fucking hate her for it.

WitchBaby · 25/08/2021 19:15

@Georgyporky

I'd contact the Local Authority & ask if loud noise until 02.00 is allowed. It probably isn't.

Really? You'd go to all that bother for a one-off party?

They have been polite enough to let you know OP, let them have a bit of fun, it's one night.

SoupDragon · 25/08/2021 19:16

Are people really unable to tolerate a single 2am party?

Dozer · 25/08/2021 19:16

2am is unreasonable.

icedcoffees · 25/08/2021 19:17

They have been polite enough to let you know OP, let them have a bit of fun, it's one night.

In most areas it's against the law to have loud music playing at 2am.

It might just be a one-off, but if I was kept awake until 2am by loud music, that would probably result in me being awake all night and struggling the next day.

SycamoreGap · 25/08/2021 19:17

It’s not polite or courteous - polite and courteous is not keeping your neighbours awake until at least 2am.

BoredZelda · 25/08/2021 19:17

It’s one night. They’ve given fair warning. Seems fair enough to me.

icedcoffees · 25/08/2021 19:18

@SoupDragon

Are people really unable to tolerate a single 2am party?
I would very much struggle with it, yes.
WitchBaby · 25/08/2021 19:19

Ha ha there are some grouches on this thread 🤣😂🤣

SycamoreGap · 25/08/2021 19:21

@SoupDragon

Are people really unable to tolerate a single 2am party?
I’m a pharmacist and I often work weekend shifts. You probably wouldn’t want me dispensing your medication if I’d been awake half the night.
EatSprayGlove · 25/08/2021 19:21

@kurtney

My ndn used to warn us when her son was having party (3 or 4 times a year). We lived in a terraced house and the son would bring in a professional sound system and they'd play music til 4 or 5 in the morning. It was so loud, the walls would vibrate and it was like being in a nightclub. Sleep (or anything even) was virtually impossible.

It was polite of her to let us know, but made no difference in terms of how we felt about the party and I still fucking hate her for it.

This. Our neighbour used to have an annual party, no official warning but we would see the marquee go up and know it was coming. We had a 1 bed that backed onto the garden where they had the party so there was no escaping it. DH usually had work the next day and we would be up til it finished around 5am. Noise people came every year but couldn't get them to answer the door so they only ever put a note through and said as it wasn't regular they couldn't do anything. It was only once a year but I hated them for it.
OverweightPidgeon · 25/08/2021 19:22

My neighbour did this and I thought it was a nice thing to do. They had the party in the garden and it was LOUD , but come 11pm they went indoors and turned the music off.

1forAll74 · 25/08/2021 19:22

At least you have all been told about the party, it maybe a special one off, so maybe not complain about the party fun.

I wish someone around me would have a lively party, it's much too quiet where I live.

Kerberos · 25/08/2021 19:24

@BoredZelda

It’s one night. They’ve given fair warning. Seems fair enough to me.
Yep. If it's a one off with a warning then 2am would be fine. If I had small children we'd head to my mum's for a sleepover. If I was younger I'd gate crash with a bottle of wine...
abw94 · 25/08/2021 19:25

Course it is but wouldn't you rather be informed before than have a surprise on the evening and then be moaning there's a party at the neighbours?

1FootInTheRave · 25/08/2021 19:27

2am as a one off, with prior notice, surely is no biggy?

Some right miserable sods on here.

Medievalist · 25/08/2021 19:30

I personally think loud music past midnight is rude in a quite neighbourhood.

I personally think inflicting loud music on neighbours at any time is totally unacceptable. Hire a venue if you want to have a lot of noise.

"Not after 2am" is completely arbitrary. How does that help the person on shift work who gets off at midnight and wants to roll into bed? Or the person who needs to get up for work at the crack of dawn? Or the person who is very ill and desperately trying to sleep? Or the person trying to settle young children? Or the person who has exams coming up and needs a good night's sleep? Loud music is selfish, annoying and intimidating at any time of day or night.

WitchBaby · 25/08/2021 19:32

I’m a pharmacist and I often work weekend shifts. You probably wouldn’t want me dispensing your medication if I’d been awake half the night.

But the fact you had been pre-warned means you can have a little nap beforehand Smile

Meatshake · 25/08/2021 19:32

I'd say that's fairly polite and respectful- gives you a chance to mitigate/prepare.

I have ASD and noise gets to me- particularly when it's erratic like laughter and shouting, have you tried the flare audio earplugs? For me its like the difference between mono/stereo settings on my old hifi (showing my age), and while it doesn't remove the noise it does help to reduce its impact.

toocold54 · 25/08/2021 19:34

I’ve never received a note like that but I think it’s really nice and polite of their to do so.
However I would be annoyed if it meant music was playing until 2am! Especially if it’s music outdoors as there’s no need to play music until that late.
If it’s just talking then I would let it slide for a one off seeing as they were decent enough to put a note through.

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