Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Party warning from neighbours

249 replies

partyondoon · 25/08/2021 18:22

NC.
Someone who lives on the road at the back of us has posted a note through the doors of the neighbouring properties with a party noise warning on it. It seems nice to warn us of a sleepless night due to their disco marquee scheduled to end around 2am but it also seems a bit like we've told you there's a big party so you can't complain. No one on this road knows them (v small quiet road) so it's quite bemusing to get these notes. Is this a thing to do? ASD adult and dc here and we don't understand party etiquette very well.
Sorry for posting here btw. I do know that it can be frowned up.

OP posts:
Sugarandtime · 25/08/2021 20:08

I would have thought that if somebody wanted to host a loud party they would hire a hall or such like, not hold it in a residential area.

icedcoffees · 25/08/2021 20:08

@RavingAnnie

It's a one off party. I can't believe the responses on here.

The purpose of the note is so you are aware, and can make arrangements according to your preference including staying somewhere else for ONE night if it will be impossible for you to cope with.

Unless you have never disturbed your neighbours, which I don't believe for a second, you need to learn a bit of give and take.

I've never blared music and thrown a party that's lasted until 2am, no.

There's a difference between normal household noise that can't be avoided, and a loud party that disrupts the entire street.

If they want a loud party until 2am then they can go and rent a suitable location for it.

I think this thread highlights those who don't struggle with their sleep and those who do, though. People saying "it's a one off" or "just take a nap" don't seem to realise that those things don't work for everyone.

CyberPixie · 25/08/2021 20:08

I don't get any notes or warnings but quite a few have parties and gatherings in the gardens around me in the evenings. However, they all stop or go inside by 11pm and I hear nothing after that. Thankful for considerate neighbours.

Sounds like this will be outside as you said marquee. Absolutely unacceptable til 2am.

RealBecca · 25/08/2021 20:08

They are having a party like it or not, at least this way you can plan to stay elsewhere if you want. Its a nice thing to do.

IsurviveonCoffeeandWinein2021 · 25/08/2021 20:09

Steal my sleep hours 😂

In the name of the wee man. That is mumsnet gold.

Op yes I think they are probably just trying to pre-warn you. Some people will some won't totally depends.

Medievalist · 25/08/2021 20:13

They are having a party like it or not, at least this way you can plan to stay elsewhere if you want. Its a nice thing to do.

We're going to make a whole load of noise past a time when you'd normally be asleep. We don't care how much it inconveniences you, but we're warning you so you can go elsewhere? Yeah - really nice Hmm

ZoyaTheDestroyer · 25/08/2021 20:14

You can post the note through their letterbox that they must finish by 11pm.

Seeing as the OP posted to ask about social norms in relation to this subject I think it’s important to point out that this would not be the usual response to the neighbours’ note.

Livpool · 25/08/2021 20:15

2am as a one-off and with prior notice is fine. It's one day (night)

GoWalkabout · 25/08/2021 20:15

Its debatable whether the advance notice helps - would just mean the light sleeper in my family having more notice to be grouchy about it - but I suppose it is upfront and honest and you will know when it is due to end rather than hoping it will end at 12 and getting more frustrated.

Mojitoqueen · 25/08/2021 20:16

I’m with the grouches on here I’m afraid

I think noisy parties with music blaring and drunks screaming and singing totally intolerable, even at weekends. It’s so rude. At least take it inside, instead of subjecting to everyone in the street to your shit party music.
Hire a hall if you wanna go all out.
I work weekends and I get so pissed off when neighbours carry out this bullshit.
I shouldn’t have to arrange my day around their party schedule. I shouldn’t have to have a nap before their party or go out or stay somewhere else. I am entitled to my own peace and quiet and sleep when I like.
You can have people round the back garden without blaring disco lights and music, it pisses me off. Total pet hate….there.

MrsSkylerWhite · 25/08/2021 20:16

I’m an anti social old bag and I think that’s a very considerate thing to do.

icedcoffees · 25/08/2021 20:17

@RealBecca

They are having a party like it or not, at least this way you can plan to stay elsewhere if you want. Its a nice thing to do.
Yep, because everyone can afford to do that Grin
Medievalist · 25/08/2021 20:19

Live and let live one party is fine. Don't sweat the small stuff.

And how do you define small stuff? Would you think being kept awake until 2am 'small stuff' if you were really ill or had to get up early the next morning for something demanding/important?

I'm flabbergasted by the mentality that what is insignificant to one person is insignificant to everyone.

Microwaveableteapot · 25/08/2021 20:19

In MN Land if you have an ordinary radio on in your garden during the day you're inconsiderate nuisances who should be run out of town, I'd take whatever you read here with a pinch of salt OP.

MrsScrubbithatescleaning · 25/08/2021 20:20

Why can’t they hire a room in a pub?

I’d be phoning the police at midnight if they hadn’t finished making a racket by then.

lannistunut · 25/08/2021 20:20

I would still complain if it were disturbing me, as 2am is too late.

As if dropping a note round means you can just do whatever you want!

newnortherner111 · 25/08/2021 20:23

It would depend on the night it is, whether it is a one-off. and to be honest what my plans were for the following day. I'd also be far more accepting if they had come and spoken to me, assuming I was at home at the time.

It will not stop someone calling the police or the council though.

shouldistop · 25/08/2021 20:24

A note through my door wouldn't make it ok to keep me awake until 2am.

AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit · 25/08/2021 20:24

If it's a one off until midnight then fair enough they've been considerate. 2am is taking the piss weekends or not. Not everyone has weekends off, what if some poor nurse or supermarket worker has to be up at 5am on Sunday?

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 25/08/2021 20:27

Myself and my neighbours do this all the time, it’s just respecting your neighbours, we all do it very rarely and when we do it, they all know to plan in advance (earbuds, white noise, car parking spaces etc...)

Jng1 · 25/08/2021 20:29

We did this for our cul de sac when DS had his18th birthday party in the garden. I think the sound of drunken teens can be a bit scary for some people.
We told people how many people we were expecting for how long and reassured them that 3 (proper!) adults would be here all the time. Also gave them our mobile numbers in case of any concerns.
Everyone was fine about it and some even sent DS a card!

Reallybadidea · 25/08/2021 20:30

Can those who say 2am is fine really not comprehend that for other people it might mean going to work with just 4 (or less hours sleep)? Would you be happy to get on a bus where the driver had only had 3 1/2 hours sleep, for example?

TangoWhiskyAlphaTango · 25/08/2021 20:30

@RavingAnnie

It's a one off party. I can't believe the responses on here.

The purpose of the note is so you are aware, and can make arrangements according to your preference including staying somewhere else for ONE night if it will be impossible for you to cope with.

Unless you have never disturbed your neighbours, which I don't believe for a second, you need to learn a bit of give and take.

Not at 2am I haven't. Ever.

BSideBaby · 25/08/2021 20:31

I wish my neighbours would do this! They regularly have parties and barbecues with no warning whatsoever, at all times of day and often going on until 2-3am. Advance warning would be great so I could sleep in a different part of the house and not go to work on two hours sleep.

TatianaBis · 25/08/2021 20:31

2am is too late. Everyone round here turns their music down at midnight.