Party warning from neighbours

[partyondoon]

NC.
Someone who lives on the road at the back of us has posted a note through the doors of the neighbouring properties with a party noise warning on it. It seems nice to warn us of a sleepless night due to their disco marquee scheduled to end around 2am but it also seems a bit like we've told you there's a big party so you can't complain. No one on this road knows them (v small quiet road) so it's quite bemusing to get these notes. Is this a thing to do? ASD adult and dc here and we don't understand party etiquette very well.
Sorry for posting here btw. I do know that it can be frowned up.

Letting neighbours know is socially the right thing to do. When you are lying there hearing the music at 1.30, you will know that it is due to end soon.
I know that you have no intentions of complaining and hopefully, nothing about the party will change that.
However if it were me, I would be keeping an open mind on that.
Chaotic parking, thumping music, a 2am finish, followed by loud people leaving, car doors slamming, security lights going on, neighbourhood dogs joining in could make me change my mind.
I would also like to know that it was not going to be a regular occurrence and that the hosts remained mindful of their neighbours in the planning, the actual party and the wrapping up.

2am is ridiculous. And normally the people who do have to be up for work on weekends work shifts meaning they have to get up even earlier than normal. It's rude and they obviously don't give a shit about their neighbours.

It’s very polite of them to let you know in advance and sounds like something they don’t do regularly.
We all need the occasional blow out. Let them have their fun and just be prepared for 1 night of noise. Can’t believe some are saying about complaining because of noise disruption past 11pm 🙄. Sounds like you have decent neighbours so please don’t spoil what sounds like their 1 night of fun. It’s probably a well needed let their hair down kind of night. I know I could do with one of them lol.

@Keelslambo

How do you 'prepare for one night of noise'?

Mentally resign yourself to not getting much sleep?
Take the following day off work or change your shift pattern?
Stay somewhere else for the night?
Tell any sick/elderly family members to suck it up?
Postpone anything the following day that can't be done on little sleep such as a long drive?

@SycamoreGap

It’s not polite or courteous - polite and courteous is not keeping your neighbours awake until at least 2am.

Yeah, that's what puzzled me!

@WitchBaby

I’m a pharmacist and I often work weekend shifts. You probably wouldn’t want me dispensing your medication if I’d been awake half the night.

But the fact you had been pre-warned means you can have a little nap beforehand

How on earth do you know that? If she's a single mother or her OH works days and they have young kids she won't get a nap.

2 am is ridiculous. I don't think the party giver has necessarily told their neighbours out of the kindness of their heart - more to dissuade them from complaining during the party as they had been warned. Although it is planned to finish at 2, how do you know that it will? After a few drinks, who will be checking their watches?
Not everyone is able to have a nap beforehand. Although it is the weekend, you never know neighbours plans - they could work, have exams to study for, long drives or special events the next day. I think that any later than 12 am in a residential area is unacceptable. I have had noisy neighbours with all night parties and it was miserable.

@Medievalist

But if it’s only once???

Really?

I live in a heavily built up area. If everyone in my neighbourhood 'just' has one loud party a year, running until 2am, that could easily work out as one night a week I have to put up with other people's noise.

Well, this is it really.

I once heard that the best way to decide if a certain behaviour is rude is to ask 'what if everyone was doing it?'

It's not a perfect question, as I can think of a few examples where it doesn't work, but it's a good rule of thumb.

In this case - what if everyone on the street decided to hold 'just' one party that kept the neighbours up to 2am or later?

It wouldn't be acceptable.

If you want a big party that ends at 2am, great. No problem at all. But hire a proper venue for the occasion.

Where I lived in Doncaster houses in the street used to have parties quite regularly. However, it was normal practice to invite everyone in the street to the party. So notes used to be posted through doors announcing the party along with an invitation to attend.

Most people manager to have parties, fun, a life without keeping their neighbours awake until 2am. I'd resent neighbours who needlessly kept me awake that late, even if it was only once.

Normally, a note would be a nice gesture, but when it's warning you that they plan to disturb everyone else until such a late hour, it feels like they've done it to try to manipulate others for their own convenience. The note doesn't make it any less obnoxious and entitled.

@mewkins

At least I guess you know what time it will stop. However surely it's more polite to invite your neighbours?!

The issue is that its only the end time of the party. Ish.

You then have the next hour or two of people leaving, 'chatting' in the street and generally making more noise.

Also, yes, my DS is a nurse who works long hours on the weekend, under stressful circumstances. If she was kept awake that late, it would make it harder for her to do her job the next day, which means her vulnerable patients might suffer.

Sorry, but I don't believe anyone's desire to "party hard" (and late!) at home is worth ruining someone else's sleep, even for "just one night". How immature!

@Housewife2010

2 am is ridiculous. I don't think the party giver has necessarily told their neighbours out of the kindness of their heart - more to dissuade them from complaining during the party as they had been warned. Although it is planned to finish at 2, how do you know that it will? After a few drinks, who will be checking their watches? Not everyone is able to have a nap beforehand. Although it is the weekend, you never know neighbours plans - they could work, have exams to study for, long drives or special events the next day. I think that any later than 12 am in a residential area is unacceptable. I have had noisy neighbours with all night parties and it was miserable.

I agree.

Some people on this thread seem very selfish. "Just one night" means nothing.

And the OP also said that she thinks it's the neighbours who have already demonstrated that they are fine with making a lot of noise, so I reckon there's no chance the noise will end at 2am even if the music does. They'll carry on chatting and making noise outside, with the excuse they're leaving, getting cars, etc.

My brother works weekends including Bank Holidays, gets up at 4am and drives forklifts. Can't imagine he'd be safe after a couple hours sleep, assuming all noise stops at 2am.

Parties after midnight should be in venues.

I have neighbours (about 3 doors down terraced housing) who have just built a covered area at the end of their garden. They are now regularly out there, weekend or not, until 3am. My kids are constantly struggling to sleep, and they have college next day. I have complained to the inconsiderate fuckers, but I'm not overly hopeful.

I think the most vacuous and meaningless phrases on this thread are -
it's just one night
and
it means you can plan

Then there's the sheer lack of empathy from some posters who can't seem to grasp that because they wouldn't mind, nobody else should.

When my son had a leaving school ‘festival’ camp over in the back garden a few years ago, I had him write a hand written note to all of the surrounding neighbours, which contained my phone number (I was home that night), saying please let mum know if we get too loud. He dropped them with a bottle of wine to next door, next door but one and the three houses directly behind ours. I actually got texts from most of them telling me not to worry and that the kids should have a great night.

One of the neighbours popped over with home baked cookies for them at around 11:30 and commented that she had baked in advance to bring them around as a subtle signal to start quietening down, but they had actually been pretty respectful on their own and she’d not heard too much noise after 10:30.

Has anyone had any luck complaining to the council? I’ve phone the out of hours team almost every weekend since moving to my current home, which I own so can’t just easily up and leave. They said they would send someone round but never did. Last time I phoned I was told they only do that if I have made a formal complaint. I’m concerned they’ll find out it was me. I’m also concerned it could be found out via searches and be off putting to future buyers. The noise is at least once every single weekend. Last night there was a party. Music went off at around 2am. Loud talking continued until 3am. Last weekend it was 4am. I really don’t know what to do.

@partyondoon

I have no intention of complaining. We'll be out until around 11 that night and then I plan on white noise for the dc and ear plugs for me. I've never received a note like this and just wondered if it's a thing.

Yes it's a thing. I have done this. We had one party in 14 years of living here.

@SoupDragon

Are people really unable to tolerate a single 2am party?

Apparently so.

@orchidsonabudget and @SoupDragon

One of our neighbours had a party that was going to last till the early hours. No letter but that's beside the point).

The music was so loud that the block of flats that I live in vibrated with the base and the arsehole with the La cucaracha horn didn't help.

In the end the police were called and the party shutdown.

And yes there have been other parties in the area that haven't made such a huge amount of noise and have not been shutdown.

honestly i still think it’s totally inconsiderate. if it means you get less sleep then how is that okay just because they warned you?

Miserable fuckers

@Kintsugi16

Miserable fuckers

What, for needing to be well rested before work or before a long drive to take the family on holiday? Or like me a few years ago after our old neighbours had a party until the early hours and we had a close family member to bury the next morning several hours away? It was great running on under 4 hours before such an emotional and difficult day. Twit.

@Kintsugi16

We have my 92 year old mil living with us. She's not eating at the moment, has no energy, struggles to sleep and I fear may be developing something sinister.

She would be horrified if the neighbours played music until 2am - followed of course by long drawn out departures.

Is she a "miserable fucker"?
Are we "miserable fuckers" for not wanting anything else to add to her current unhappiness and anxiety?

@Kintsugi16

My niece is an ICU nurse. If you have the misfortune to be in ICU, would you be happy knowing that your nurse only managed to grab an hour or two sleep last night because her neighbours kept her awake partying? Or is she a "miserable fucker" too and you wouldn't be bothered if, in her tiredness, she messed up your meds/care?