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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Party warning from neighbours

249 replies

partyondoon · 25/08/2021 18:22

NC.
Someone who lives on the road at the back of us has posted a note through the doors of the neighbouring properties with a party noise warning on it. It seems nice to warn us of a sleepless night due to their disco marquee scheduled to end around 2am but it also seems a bit like we've told you there's a big party so you can't complain. No one on this road knows them (v small quiet road) so it's quite bemusing to get these notes. Is this a thing to do? ASD adult and dc here and we don't understand party etiquette very well.
Sorry for posting here btw. I do know that it can be frowned up.

OP posts:
helpIhateclothesshopping · 26/08/2021 19:46

At least if they've given you some notice you can make plans for ear plugs or a weekend away if it's likely to bother you. If they've warned you it's easier to prepare so less people are likely to be offended by it.

angela99999 · 26/08/2021 19:48

@britnay

even if its a one-off, I'm not sure its acceptable to be having a party to 2am + wind-down time.
It certainly isn't reasonable not technically legal. They're supposed to stop at midnight. We used to have neighbours who did this, once a year. It was truly awful and resulted in loads of complaints. I'm truly glad not to live next door to them any longer.
MyShoelaceIsUndone · 26/08/2021 19:50

Wish my neighbours were considerate. 10:15pm every other night they have sex. The bed sounds like a bouncy castle. They go fast for a few minutes then nothing then it’s starts again. She might ooooh, once one during it..else it’s just the bouncy castle sound

bubblepond · 26/08/2021 19:52

It's polite to let you know, but 2am is too late.
Lots of people work weekends, so even if it was on a Friday or Saturday it could still really affect someone the next day. I regularly work 13 hour shifts at the weekend and would be very annoyed at being kept up until 2pm before a shift.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 26/08/2021 20:00

@Evan456

But if it’s only once???
What are you not getting? You don't get to keep other people up until 2 am, ever. People who have been up since 6 am to deal with the kids and get to work, people who may be starting their shift at 6 am the next day, like the people everyone was stood outside clapping for last year.

Do you realise how dangerous it could be for a nurse or doctor to be running on 3 hours of sleep before a 12 hour shift? Or for a Tesco driver to drive a van all day, running on barely any sleep?

daisybrown37 · 26/08/2021 20:11

It is polite to let you know, but I agree with others that 2am is late. It depends what it is - chatting and low music would be okay, easily ignored or covered by white noise or ear plugs. Thumping bass and screeching not so much.

Rainbowsandstorms · 26/08/2021 20:17

I’d agree with others 2am is far too late for noise that will keep neighbours awake. It may only be a one off but if all the neighbours did this, there would be a lot of sleepless nights. If it’s a big noisy event they need to hire somewhere appropriate or keep the noise to a reasonable level for a residential area and reduce any noise likely to keep others awake by 11pm. I’d appreciate the heads up and wouldn’t mind if the finish time was earlier.

Notebooksarefabulous · 26/08/2021 20:24

@BSideBaby

I wish my neighbours would do this! They regularly have parties and barbecues with no warning whatsoever, at all times of day and often going on until 2-3am. Advance warning would be great so I could sleep in a different part of the house and not go to work on two hours sleep.
We must be neighbours! This is exactly the situation I have. Sometimes the kids are out playing from 8am all day and then the adults drink and party all night until 3am. Then the kids are up and playing in the garden again 8am the next morning. Its only about once a month thankfully but no peace for me when they are having fun.
Notebooksarefabulous · 26/08/2021 20:25

2am as a one off that they were kind enough to warn you of - no I wouldnt mind a bit. I wish my own neighbours were as considerate.

Medievalist · 26/08/2021 20:35

But if it’s only once???

Really?

I live in a heavily built up area. If everyone in my neighbourhood 'just' has one loud party a year, running until 2am, that could easily work out as one night a week I have to put up with other people's noise.

opalescent · 26/08/2021 20:39

Whilst I think it's polite that they sent a note- I'd hate this. I'm permanently knackered with young kids and a puppy. A sleepless night has a massive knock on effect for me. My kids wouldnt be able to sleep through it. I'm not sure what the party throwers are thinking here- do they just expect all their neighbours (with all their various circumstances) to stay up till 2am?

I think anything past midnight is a piss take, note or not.

Maryjane3227 · 26/08/2021 20:40

It's polite and (even if it goes on a bit later) as a one off, I'd be tolerant. Families with kids shouldn't get priority over other neighbours in a fair world. We choose to be parents. Why should younger, or child free people not be allowed to go wild on a bank holiday weekend?
If it was a work night, with no warning, that's different.
Live and let live. Life isn't easy for anyone, let them enjoy themselves.

Barney60 · 26/08/2021 20:46

Yes agree with others, good manners. My neighbours dont do it!

TatianaBis · 26/08/2021 20:47

What does this one off mean? If you allow it for one person you have to allow it for others.

I live London. On many of the weekends in the summer someone has a party. They have marquees and sound systems. It's loud.

If you don't think music to 2am every weekend is ok, then you can't condone it as a 'one off'.

Medievalist · 26/08/2021 20:47

Families with kids shouldn't get priority over other neighbours in a fair world. We choose to be parents. Why should younger, or child free people not be allowed to go wild on a bank holiday weekend?

Sigh. Because some people in any neighbourhood still work on a bank holiday weekend/are ill/need a good night's sleep for innumerable reasons ..... Is it really so hard to grasp?

PopcornMuncher · 26/08/2021 20:52

Why should younger, or child free people not be allowed to go wild on a bank holiday weekend?

So you think people who are happy to disrupt others' sleep should be prioritised?

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 26/08/2021 21:22

@Maryjane3227

It's polite and (even if it goes on a bit later) as a one off, I'd be tolerant. Families with kids shouldn't get priority over other neighbours in a fair world. We choose to be parents. Why should younger, or child free people not be allowed to go wild on a bank holiday weekend? If it was a work night, with no warning, that's different. Live and let live. Life isn't easy for anyone, let them enjoy themselves.
It's not about them getting priority?! Every one, from 0 to 1000 years of age deserve peace between midnight and 7 am at least. Everyone. No one has the right to disturb anyone else during these hours. Not even once.

Live and let live. Said it before and I will say it again. Only ever said by the dickheads who make unreasonable noise.

SycamoreGap · 26/08/2021 21:24

@Maryjane3227

It's polite and (even if it goes on a bit later) as a one off, I'd be tolerant. Families with kids shouldn't get priority over other neighbours in a fair world. We choose to be parents. Why should younger, or child free people not be allowed to go wild on a bank holiday weekend? If it was a work night, with no warning, that's different. Live and let live. Life isn't easy for anyone, let them enjoy themselves.
It is a work night for many people - I’ll be working all weekend.
JesusIsAnyNameFree · 26/08/2021 21:24

And furthermore, Dear @Maryjane3227, not everyone works Monday through Friday. Many people work weekends. They deserve sleep too. You absolute numpty.

LibbyL92 · 26/08/2021 22:00

It’s really nice of them to send a note.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 26/08/2021 22:02

@LibbyL92

It’s really nice of them to send a note.
Omg, I feel like this thread exists to make me doubt my own sanity.
recededpronunciation · 26/08/2021 22:11

We had this. They kept going until 4am and kept the entire village awake - we are at the other end of the village and could make out every song lyric. Opinion was split between ‘let them have their fun’ and the rather less impressed ones who had to get up for work the next day having barely had two hours sleep.

I was ready to murder someone by 2am.

Bertiebiscuit · 26/08/2021 22:16

This is Not OK and "warning" you does not change that - most residential areas have byelaws forbidding this type of noise after midnight - let them know that you are not ok with this, remind them that other people need their sleep and would they please stop the noise after midnight - report them to environmental health if they ignore you p s I guarantee if they say 2 pm it will beuch later than that because they will all be p*ssed and there will be shouting and car door slamming long after the party is officially over - I speak from experience

Imy06 · 26/08/2021 23:08

Growing up Mum always did this for the neighbours if we were going to have an event. However our notes always promised that we would stick to the rules regarding loud noise and have everything turned down by 10 or 11pm (I can’t remember what the regulations are).

CirqueDeMorgue · 26/08/2021 23:33

I dunno, 2am seems a bit stupid.