‘How many drinks for you to sleep with her?’

[Kidsdontknowwhatswrongwithmum]

God, I feel shit.
Went to the supermarket with toddler dd yesterday afternoon. For context I live in another country, speak the language but not 100% fluently, but more than enough to get by.
The supermarket I went to was full of holiday makers, mainly British.
I went to the meat counter and the guy looked up and as I was going to order in the language of the country, he asked me what I’d like in English, sometimes I answer in the hone country’s language, this time I quickly replied in English.
I then heard him asking his colleague stood with him behind the counter, how many drinks it would take to sleep with me, he asked him ‘Lots?’ and he started laughing, his friend sort of shrugged it off. It was almost like a joke to the holiday makers I’m sure…see what you can say that they obviously won’t understand, but I understand. I just sort of stood there in shock.
I’m 2-3 stone overweight and hate the way I look currently, I was once a gym bunny size 10 and had men always checking me out. I’m older now, so I don’t expect that, but equally, what he said has made me feel so very low and disgusted with myself. I cried in the car on the way home.
I keep wondering if I had it wrong due to the language and he was talking about something else, but I really don’t think I did.

It's unacceptable and shit, I'd ring the manager and make a complaint.

Uggh. Some men are vile and like humiliating women. This has nothing to do with what dress size you are and everything to do with him being a knob.
I imagine he hasn’t had a girlfriend in years and blames women for this rather than his unpleasant personality.

He was youngish and good looking, but a cocky shit. I’ve never seen him there before so is obviously new. I recognise all the other butchers every time and they’re so lovely.
I can’t believe I’ve now become a person with looks that men say that about

I agree they should be ashamed, not you! Vile misogynistic behaviour

So they are frustrated lowlives who will never achieve anything better than incelling women from behind the safety of their coutertop, telling each other stories of what they would do, if only they had some dutch courage (obviously they cannot even muster that). You're so above their league they cannot even bring themselves to face it.

Cherish your body and the amazing things it did to bring your DC into the world. If your health is a concern, there is always the option of safe diet management and exercise to start, and see where it goes. But never, EVER fa to appreciate yourself for who you are and what you've accomplished so far. Hugs of support!

Why are you ashamed that they are cocks?

you definitely need to complain about this. it is not acceptable at all

Sounds like even his colleague was embarrassed by him.

I'd have spoke in the local language and ask them if they'd like to repeat that. I second contacting the manager.

Agree - this isn't a reflection on you whatsoever but the disgusting, low life this pathetic individual is!

I feel like complaining about him
I put on weight after years of fertility treatments and then pregnancy. Admittedly I should be working out but have Dd full time and it’s hard to even have 5 minutes alone and I get so tired
He didn’t even say it quietly, just brazenly. They’re usually so professional there

I'd like to think I would have responded to him in his own language so he knew I understood his disgusting joke but I bet I would have just wanted the ground to swallow me up in reality. I'd definitely complain to the butcher's manager about this. It's appalling and they'd surely want to know what this little gobshite is doing in his shop?

Are you going to go back in /call up and make a complaint? I wouldn't even hesitate.

What an absolute shit. I would make a point of ordering in fluent local language next time you're in there, and then staring hard at him.

I hope you make a formal complaint

@Carboncheque

Why are you ashamed that they are cocks?

Sounds like it was just the one guy tbf.

That's awful OP, If I were you the next time you go in there you should speak to him in his language, if you're feeling brave say something like there's not enough drinks in the world that would make me sleep with you

@romdowa I thought that on reflection, I should’ve just asked what the hell he’s saying-in his language, but I was just so shocked at the time.

He was showing off to his colleague. You should have cut him down right there and then, but now it is too late.
You could make a complaint but he will deny it.

Don't shop there again. One you will always be uncomfortable and two you will wish you complained but if you did you would still be uncomfortable.

Bastard

It's sad that your focus is what you look like rather than his disgusting misogynist behaviour

The other guy just stood there, not really saying anything, he didn’t look embarrassed but he also didn’t laugh. Never seen this new guy there before. God, I felt so crap afterwards! Never had anything like that said about me, yes I’ve put on weight and don’t make as much effort since Dd came along, I know that, but my god I had my little girl in the shopping trolley with me. What a nasty guy

Next time you go in start talking to him in his language.
Oh and make a formal complaint. It’s disgusting behaviour and I can guarantee it’s no reflection on how you look, you were the handy Brit there at the time. I’m sure he would have said the same about anyone.

Men are so vile sometimes it makes me sad.

Build up the courage to go back and tell him in his language that you know what he said and that you will be putting in a complaint.

He will feel far shittier than you when his boss finds out.

OP you had my full sympathy until this point

I can’t believe I’ve now become a person with looks that men say that about

So you think women out there deserve to be treated like this if they aren’t good looking?
I think you are viewing this all wrong, talking about gym bunny and size 10 etc. Those men are vile and need calling out of their behaviour and you didn’t do that, you went home and thought about your weight as though any woman overweight deserved to be treated so shit. I’m appalled at those men but I’m also disappointed that women shoot each other down over their weight and do nothing to make a stand and call out this horrid misogynist behaviour.

I can’t believe I’ve now become a person with looks that men say that about.

Not men, these two particularly unpleasant little shits. Plenty of other men would find you perfectly attractive just exactly as you are now. Women who are overweight and not "gym bunnies" are attractive too.

I would definitely make the management aware of their staff's poor behaviour in front of customers. They should obviously not be so horribly misogynist, nor should they assume that people can't understand them when speaking their language.

Yes, do what pp said ( after complaining of course. Why should he get away with it?)
I've had similar on 2 occasions. The 1st. My dh and I on holiday in Spain and went into a restaurant where I heard the waitress say, ' These are British. We'll get a tip.' My dh ordered the meal and I paid the bill ( no tip) but told a gobsmacked waitress ( in my best spanish), how beautiful the meal was etc. Was fun.
The 2nd was when we went away with another family. The 17year old - an absolute beauty - a bit wild, wanted to go to a nightclub. I didn't want her going on her own ( her ma couldn't be bothered !), so I went with her just to keep an eye on her. A bloke ( English) said something similar to me. I shrugged it off but it has stayed with me. He was a prick, as was this man. Report him definitely.