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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think WTF at him?

221 replies

RainbowBriteUk · 08/08/2021 13:16

I've started dating someone. I've known him since last year but things have only started to get a bit romantic with dates for the past four or so months.

We both love nice food and on most of our recent dates we have eaten out. He's staying with parents at the moment waiting for his house sale to be completed but what gets me is that he never stays over, presumably because his parents would question where he was and they don't know about me yet, but what pisses me off more, is if we go for something to eat he'll only have a bit to eat, a starter or something because his dad will have made his tea. He says his dad prepares it early. It's fucking mad!!!

OP posts:
LadyInParis · 08/08/2021 13:19

Well, is it attractive for you that he still relies on his parents like that? At the detriment to a really nice (full proper meal) date with you now and then?

If so ditch now. It’ll only get more unattractive (and more things like this will pop up trust me) once the honeymoon lovey dovey phase wears off.

Funnylittlefloozie · 08/08/2021 13:20

Are you certain he is single?

LadyInParis · 08/08/2021 13:20

Oh and no you’re not unreasonable! I would find it so very unattractive too and confusing. How old is he anyway? Why is he living with his parents and being cooked meals for (presumably also doing his washing and all sorts) by his parents?

It says a lot about his personality..

WitchBaby · 08/08/2021 13:20

How old is he?

arethereanyleftatall · 08/08/2021 13:21

Eh? This literally makes no sense. You go out for nice food mainly, but he doesn't eat? Why on Earth would you have gone on a second date? Does he just sit there whilst you have your dinner?

namechange30455 · 08/08/2021 13:21

How old is he?!

Are you sure it's his dad making his tea not his wife?

Original poster
RainbowBriteUk · 08/08/2021 13:23

He'll eat starters or light bites. It's starting to do my head in. I think it will change when he moves to his new house but who knows when that will be?!

OP posts:
Original poster
RainbowBriteUk · 08/08/2021 13:23

He's definitely single and staying at his mum and dads.

OP posts:
Stichintime · 08/08/2021 13:24

'Light bites' love itGrin

Original poster
RainbowBriteUk · 08/08/2021 13:25

@Stichintime

'Light bites' love itGrin
Ha ha ha ha
OP posts:
WitchBaby · 08/08/2021 13:25

Well tell him you won't go out again unless he tells his parents about you and eats a proper meal. What is wrong with him?
Why hasn't he told his parents about you?

SilverRoe · 08/08/2021 13:25

Have you asked him why he hasn’t told his parents he’s dating and why he can’t say to his father he’s eating dinner out so won’t want any cooked?

Is it definitely his parents he’s living with? Because the only two things that seem to make sense is A. he has a really weird relationship with his parents or B. He has a romantic relationship you don’t know about

Original poster
RainbowBriteUk · 08/08/2021 13:25

@Stichintime

'Light bites' love itGrin
Light bites are on lots of menu's round here! Grin
OP posts:
DurhamDurham · 08/08/2021 13:28

How do you split the bill? Does he just pay for his starter or light bite? If so he may well be tight/frugal/mean and that a very unattractive trait in a person. I'd want to find out sooner rather later.

HilaryBriss · 08/08/2021 13:29

Is he not capable of saying 'Hey Dad, I'm off out for a meal later/tomorrow so don't make me any tea!'

And also 'Hey mum/dad, I'll be staying over at a friends tonight, don't wait up and I'll see you tomorrrow'.

How old is he, 12?

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 08/08/2021 13:32

Stop dating this man child.

pinkyredrose · 08/08/2021 13:34

he'll only have a bit to eat, a starter or something because his dad will have made his tea

Grin oh my gosh, how unsexy! Surprised you even want him to stay over!

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 08/08/2021 13:35

Sounds like a married man playing away to me too, sadly. Have you seen any evidence of this 'house'?

Sparklesocks · 08/08/2021 13:39

I don’t think I could carry on fancying someone who can’t say to their parents ‘I’m having dinner out tonight so don’t worry about doing anything for me’.

GrrRightBackAtYou · 08/08/2021 13:41

Why can’t he just tell his parents he is going out to eat? Why don’t they know about you?
Weird that you are some big secret tbh.

Withgasoliiiiine · 08/08/2021 13:41

Could he be broke/ stingy?

ssd · 08/08/2021 13:42

Op is going to come back and say the guy is early 40s.....

Dishwashersaurous · 08/08/2021 13:42

Why are you even dating Him?

Someone who can't tell his parents that he has plans

vivainsomnia · 08/08/2021 13:43

He's definitely single and staying at his mum and dads
How can you be so sure when you haven't met them?

BlueSurfer · 08/08/2021 13:45

Even my four year old is able to say she is eating at a friend’s house so I don't cook a meal.

How old exactly is he?