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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think WTF at him?

221 replies

RainbowBriteUk · 08/08/2021 13:16

I've started dating someone. I've known him since last year but things have only started to get a bit romantic with dates for the past four or so months.

We both love nice food and on most of our recent dates we have eaten out. He's staying with parents at the moment waiting for his house sale to be completed but what gets me is that he never stays over, presumably because his parents would question where he was and they don't know about me yet, but what pisses me off more, is if we go for something to eat he'll only have a bit to eat, a starter or something because his dad will have made his tea. He says his dad prepares it early. It's fucking mad!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
RainbowBriteUk · 09/08/2021 12:04

@vivainsomnia

He's definitely single and staying at his mum and dads How can you be so sure when you haven't met them?
He is. I just know he is.
OP posts:
Original poster
RainbowBriteUk · 09/08/2021 12:08

His sister is on social media and often teases him about a new gf when he posts locations of our dates out. He's single.

OP posts:
PidgeInAPud · 09/08/2021 12:39

Sorry but I would find this deeply unattractive. A grown man who can't tell his parents he's eating out?

acolderwar · 09/08/2021 12:46

Ugh, how can you bring yourself to kiss him!

OhGiveUp · 09/08/2021 12:47

A grown man who for some reason, can't live in a house that he's selling?
Daren't tell his parents that he's dating?
Daren't tell his dad that he won't be home for tea?
Do you help him with his homework too op?

Nope, this isn't real. Good try though.

WitchBaby · 09/08/2021 15:20

@RainbowBriteUk

His sister is on social media and often teases him about a new gf when he posts locations of our dates out. He's single.

His sister teases him about going out with girls?
They sound like my kids but they're all teenagers not fully grown adults Confused

WitchBaby · 09/08/2021 15:25

You also haven't said HOW OLD IS HE?

nocoffeenobooze · 09/08/2021 16:01

@burritofan

How did your vagina not spontaneously seal shut the very first time he ordered a “light bite” because his parental tea was waiting at home?
Hahahahaha
Original poster
RainbowBriteUk · 09/08/2021 16:10

@OhGiveUp

A grown man who for some reason, can't live in a house that he's selling? Daren't tell his parents that he's dating? Daren't tell his dad that he won't be home for tea? Do you help him with his homework too op?

Nope, this isn't real. Good try though.

Of course it's real. Really rolling my eyes at you. Just deciding someones post isn't real is a bit dickish!
OP posts:
LuxOlente · 09/08/2021 16:31

@Funnylittlefloozie

Are you certain he is single?
Ha, yes. This has a distinct whiff of Family Man about it. He doesn't stay over because his wife would find out, the one who made his dinner.

That or he's a wimpy manbaby who can't tell Mumsie and Pops he has a girlfriend.

LuxOlente · 09/08/2021 16:32

Hm, but reading all the posts, he does sound about 14, and his sister 12.

EverybodyIsInteresting · 09/08/2021 16:35

Is he a brony?

Proudboomer · 09/08/2021 16:39

How do you know he likes nice food if he doesn’t actually eat a meal with you?
Maybe he has issues with food that you don’t know about and uses his dad as an excuse.
No one on here can tell you what the issue is. I presume up you are both adults so speak to him about it.

WitchBaby · 09/08/2021 16:44

@TheWeeDonkey

I also want to know how old he is?

Seems we may be waiting a while Hmm

TempName01 · 09/08/2021 17:05

Next time you make arrangements remind him to tell his parents not to cook for him as you want to have a full three courses! If he still arrives fed you should knock it on the head. Seriously though, does he never eat out with friends or colleagues? It’s all a bit odd.

Lulola · 09/08/2021 17:07

Could he be skint? Is he getting light bites claiming he will eat at home but it is that he can’t afford a big meal and is ashamed to say?

millerpie · 09/08/2021 17:18

Ditch the man child and raise your bar.

wobblywinelover · 09/08/2021 17:26

following because I want to know how old he is too..

REP22 · 09/08/2021 17:27

I'm wondering if he's not permanently resident with mum and dad, and the "house sale to be completed" is the red herring. It's not a situation I'd be happy with, personally.

Hope you get to the bottom of it in a way that makes you happy OP. Best wishes to you.

Bloodypunkrockers · 09/08/2021 17:35

This is so unattractive

Why wouldn't he say that he was going out for dinner. It's so weird

Gardengrace · 09/08/2021 17:39

Do you mean he's selling a house or buying, if it's selling he should be living in it surely not with his parents and if he does live with parents I'd have thought 4 months of dating and he would have mentioned you to them?

Frazzledmummy123 · 09/08/2021 17:52

I admit my first thought was that he isn't single and he has a wife or girlfriend cooking for him at home. I have seen a similar situation before and this was the reason.

However... if you say he posts on social media where you are then that could suggest this isn't the case. There seems to be significant immaturity with him if he is still ruled by his parents so much, and can't tell them not to cook for him some nights because he is going out. His sister teasing him on facebook about your dates is extremely childish too.

My theories, for what it's worth:

His dad cooking for him is a cover for anxiety about eating in public (I know he eats small portions but he might be able to eat smaller amounts easier than large meals).

The dad cooking is a cover for an eating disorder (a bit extreme I know, but could be a possibility)?

His parents/dad is overbearing and controlling and he feels he can't say no so takes the meals every night to save arguments.

Or, he might just be immature and need to break away from the apron strings.

No matter what it is, it isn't really normal behaviour. I am assuming he is in his 20s at the very least? I think you need to have a serious chat with him about it. Tell him it bothers you, and for you to even begin to understand it from his point of view, he has to explain to you the reasons for this weird set up.

LtDansleg · 09/08/2021 17:56

HOW OLD IS HE??!!!!!

Chickychickydodah · 09/08/2021 18:11

I’d bin him. Red flag .

Fimofriend · 09/08/2021 18:18

Sounds like he is still living with the wife

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