Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think WTF at him?

221 replies

RainbowBriteUk · 08/08/2021 13:16

I've started dating someone. I've known him since last year but things have only started to get a bit romantic with dates for the past four or so months.

We both love nice food and on most of our recent dates we have eaten out. He's staying with parents at the moment waiting for his house sale to be completed but what gets me is that he never stays over, presumably because his parents would question where he was and they don't know about me yet, but what pisses me off more, is if we go for something to eat he'll only have a bit to eat, a starter or something because his dad will have made his tea. He says his dad prepares it early. It's fucking mad!!!

OP posts:
EverybodyIsInteresting · 08/08/2021 13:46

This is really suspicious. I mean, does he not have friends he spends the evening with? Or does he not do that because Dad has made his tea...

DamnUserName21 · 08/08/2021 13:46

@Sparklesocks

I don’t think I could carry on fancying someone who can’t say to their parents ‘I’m having dinner out tonight so don’t worry about doing anything for me’.
This!

How unappealing.

Zealois · 08/08/2021 13:47

I briefly dated a guy like this. I got the ick so quickly. He stayed over one night and his mother rang him in the morning asking where he was. He was 26. I broke it off later that day.

I also then stopped dating anyone who was still living at home. Some friends thought I was being unfair but I absolutely hated always being the host, we always had to hang out at mine, sleep over at mine etc. It was much nicer to be able to go to either house.

QueenBee52 · 08/08/2021 13:47

@Sparklesocks

I don’t think I could carry on fancying someone who can’t say to their parents ‘I’m having dinner out tonight so don’t worry about doing anything for me’.

this ...

what a dick he sounds 😳

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 08/08/2021 13:49

@WitchBaby

Well tell him you won't go out again unless he tells his parents about you and eats a proper meal. What is wrong with him? Why hasn't he told his parents about you?
This! Does he do this with friends, colleagues, anyone else, or does he never go out to eat - despite loving nice food - because his dad is making tea?
Inthesameboatatmo · 08/08/2021 13:50

He is either a man child or he is not single sorry .
Block ,delete and move on .
If he was interested in you he would be more keen to see you ,stay over and stuff.

Maskedrevenger · 08/08/2021 13:51

He doesn’t even need to announce he’s dating, surely just meeting a friend for a meal is enough of a reason for not eating at mum and dad’s? Also agree with PP does he only pay for his, if so does he have any money is he tight? I can’t imagine any grown man thinking that having his din dins cooked by a parent is going to make him an attractive prospect.

arethereanyleftatall · 08/08/2021 13:55

You know - you don't HAVE to go out with him or anyone. If you don't like him, don't go out with him. Bizarre.

TheWeeDonkey · 08/08/2021 14:02

I also want to know how old he is?

Ideasplease322 · 08/08/2021 14:12

I dated a man like this in my early twenties. He lived his life to please his parents and often was late to dates etc because his mum asked him to do something round the house.

He would put go away on holiday or stay overnight because his parent would know we were having sex.

I bumped into him years later and he has bought a new house, which his mum was decorating for him in her taste.

Lucky escape.

Never date a man who keeps you a secret from his parents.

RickJames · 08/08/2021 14:17

He sounds like Malcolm Merton Grin

Just tell him straight he's being ridiculous.

alltheemptyfields · 08/08/2021 14:20

He sounds desperately unattractive

but

Has he lived alone before?

if he really genuinely is days, weeks possibly, from buying his property and he's walking on eggshells around his parents to keep the peace, I could forgive him I suppose. I'd want to see the paperwork and what is going on with house purchase though!

MauveMagnolia · 08/08/2021 14:29

Do light bite and nice food go together?

BeeOnADandelion · 08/08/2021 15:01

@alltheemptyfields

He sounds desperately unattractive

but

Has he lived alone before?

if he really genuinely is days, weeks possibly, from buying his property and he's walking on eggshells around his parents to keep the peace, I could forgive him I suppose. I'd want to see the paperwork and what is going on with house purchase though!

I wouldn't, because in the future he might be the type to tip toe around his parents feelings instead of standing up for his wife if they interfere with bringing up DC or something.
Imnothereforthedrama · 08/08/2021 15:17

He is a man child I’ve adult dc that live at home and I stopped cooking for them years ago unless it’s a occasion or they want some of fear I’m cooking . I wouldn’t dream of cooking every night for a dc and I certainly wouldn’t mind if they wanted to stay at a friends . They are adults and they have their own lives to live . It’s bizarre that potentially his parents think this is normal and that he does too . Sorry op get rid I also think it will get worse he will always put his parents before you for everything.

Imnothereforthedrama · 08/08/2021 15:18

fear should be ‘what I’m cooking ‘ I’m on my phone .

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 08/08/2021 15:21

he'll only have a bit to eat, a starter or something because his dad will have made his tea

This would just make me cringe.

they don't know about me yet

After 4 months? This would have me running for the hills to be honest.

LargeInCharge · 08/08/2021 15:54

@HilaryBriss

Is he not capable of saying 'Hey Dad, I'm off out for a meal later/tomorrow so don't make me any tea!'

And also 'Hey mum/dad, I'll be staying over at a friends tonight, don't wait up and I'll see you tomorrrow'.

How old is he, 12?

This.
Comtedemontecristo · 08/08/2021 16:19

@WitchBaby

Well tell him you won't go out again unless he tells his parents about you and eats a proper meal. What is wrong with him? Why hasn't he told his parents about you?
I dated a *man like this. He was in his 40s and still lived at home. I once phoned him and his mum answered. He was 8n the shower. She took the phone into the bathroom for him, ick
nocoffeenobooze · 08/08/2021 16:21

How old?!?

NigellaSeed · 08/08/2021 16:22

What year was he born

MrsFlinch · 08/08/2021 16:25

Come on op, how old is he?

30degreesandmeltinghere · 08/08/2021 16:26

Does his outfit look like his dm chose it?

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 08/08/2021 16:27

He sounds like a child .
Deeply unattractive.

KeeOe · 08/08/2021 16:28

Ohhhh, OP, this sounds awfully familiar. Please don't tell me you live in the North-East of England and his initials are N B. There can't be more than one of these around, surely 😂

For the record, I binned off my terrible man-baby. It was just too bizarre for words.