To give up my kids?

[rghltifndn]

I’m a single mum of 3.

One a toddler, one with additional needs.

I just cannot cope anymore.

I have no support network.

No family or friends probably because I am a horrible person with mental health issues.

No input from ex.

I fantasise about committing suicide on a daily basis because I can’t cope with how relentless my life is.

I never, ever get a break.

Oldest and youngest have sleep issues so I barely get any sleep.

I can’t go on.

They would be better off without me but l don’t know how to go about doing this.

[FellInLoveWithABanana]

I’m so thrilled to see that things are getting better for you x

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

I'm new to this thread but thrilled to see that you have had support and help from so many, and that it is helping you to work your way through this untenable situation.

Your ex and his parents are grade A shits, by the way, as are your own family members for being so unsupportive and dismissive.

Your toddler being in daycare/nursery is clearly of great benefit to you, as it is giving you that time alone, to catch up on either sleep or housework or just stuff for YOU. All of which is necessary for you to have a more equanimous life - so it's a GOOD thing.

As they say, keep on keeping on and I'm so glad you found the support you needed when you needed it.

[Sally872]

Lovely update, glad you're still making progress, well done

[Doomscrolling]

Wonderful update, OP. I’m so glad things are more manageable now.

[MissVanji]

Thank you for the update OP I'm so glad things are better and you are getting the support you need. You should be tremendously proud of yourself for what you have achieved in these months.

[madmumofteens]

Lovely update OP so glad to hear that you are being supported in RL 💐

[Igmum]

Wonderful news OP. One day at a time and be kind to yourself ❤️

[OnTheBenchOfDoom]

Fantastic update. All of my kids are now in full-time nursery/school. I do feel a bit guilty as my toddler doesn’t really need to go as I’m still off work but the time to myself during the school day has been really helpful and I guess that full-time nursery and a happy mummy is better for DC than how I was before

Do not feel bad about this, you need a break from your children and that is okay. Catch up on sleep if you need to but don't feel like you have to be with your toddler when they are no doubt enjoying being in nursery. Toddlers are exhausting I am a SAHM and still sent mine for two stay and play mornings a week when he was 2 and where I enjoyed 2 hours to myself. Bliss.

[Mcgieml3]

I’m so sorry you feel this way. Reaching out for help to crisis is exactly the right thing to do. It might also be worth calling your GP and social service re. Respite care. Are you maximising free childcare hours to get a break (particularly the child with special needs who might be able to get 30 hours free earlier). It will get better - it’s the age that they’re at. My smallest with special needs just went to school finally! How are you feeling today?

[Polkadots2021]

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this OP, I just wish I lived next door and I'd come round every night so you'd get a couple of weeks of great sleep and I promise you things would look very different then. Sleep deprivation is impossible, breaks you down, nothing feels possible, but I promise you when you get more sleep, the clouds will start lifting.

Just wanted to say please hang in there, you are doing a truly amazing job.

[oatmilk4breakfast]

You’re doing amazingly. I wanted to just let you know that some SSRIs - antidepressants - can intensify suicidal thoughts as an initial side effect. More research is going into it I think but it could be worth going back to GP and discussing that with them if you are still feeling like that. For some people, definitely not all, the risk to them increases a bit when they start taking the medication before it falls and starts to work - it’s not a common side effect but it can be a side effect and it’s not well enough known. So I just wanted to give you that information so you can have the chat if needed. www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/antidepressants/side-effects-of-antidepressants/

[RandomMess]

Such good news.

Don't feel guilty for full time nursery and being off work. These things take time.

[Dontjudgeme101]

That’s brilliant news op. 💐💐💐

[Cam001]

I've just read the whole thread and I'm in awe of you OP. You are an amazing, strong, resilient, intelligent and loving woman. You're children are so lucky to have you so please please never feel guilty about your struggles. How guilty does their 'father' feel?

It's wonderful to read that you have sought and are receiving some support now. Great that your DC are in full time school/nursery and you're feeling more in control. On an aeroplane, when they give the safety talk, they tell you you must put on your own oxygen mask before helping children and you likewise needed to address your own mental and physical health so that you can effectively support your children. Absolutely no guilt necessary - you are amazing and you are the best mum they could possibly have.

[25yearsnhsworker]

What a great update you fabulous mum.

Do whatever you need to to get through being a single mum as it is a tough gig and I admire you. Don't be so hard on yourself you are amazing.

[notapizzaeater]

That's a great update. Do t feel guilty about the full time nursery - you need that down time to recharge.

[Maharajah20]

Well done you! 💪💪💪

You are on a marathon not a sprint. Slow and steady wins the race. Take it one day at a time.

You are amazing!

Thanks for keeping us undated.

[ancientgran]

I'm so glad to read that things are looking up. It is hard with little ones, I had to do the co-sleeping thing with my youngest as it was impossible to get enough sleep any other way. Getting some sleep makes a huge difference and getting some support is wonderful.

I hope things continue to improve.

[GrandmasCat]

Great to hear you are doing so well and please, do not feel guilty about sending them to nursery. There are sometimes that your needs are more important than your kids, it is as simple as the oxygen masks in planes, you have to put Yours on first because if you don’t you will not able to help your children.

I have raised a kid alone with no family around. Little things, as you noticed, make a huge difference, sleep for once!

Take care of yourself and keep the good progress. You have done a lot to improve your life and your kids’ in just a few weeks

[FlamingoQueen]

How lovely to hear your updates. I’m so pleased you are sleeping better (I know not 100% better, but some sleep is great) and that you are looking after yourself.
Don’t feel bad at putting the children into childcare - at this point it’s so important that you feel ok, the children will be safe and get to play all day!
Accept any support from school - they obviously care about you and want to help.

[DoesHePlayTheFiddle]

I'm so glad to read your update. Wishing you all the best.

[RevolvingPivot]

Well done. You should be proud of yourself xx

[LastGirlSanding]

Just adding my voice to say well done. So glad to hear things are beginning to improve for you. Wishing you all the best

[TheHouseIsOnFire]

I didn’t come across your thread at the time but having read through all your updates I’m so glad to hear things are on the up.

Please don’t ever feel guilty about your toddler being at nursery. It’s great fun for them and a necessary break for you. FWIW even before I divorced I had my youngest at nursery a couple of days a week because having 3 young DC, even with a (useless!) H around was such hard work I just needed some breathing space. Once I was a single parent damn right I’d have taken that opportunity and now they’re teens and no trouble at all I still arrange my workload to ensure I get time off in the daytime for myself. As you’ve found - it can literally be a life saver. You’ve got this!

[stairgates]

So happy that things are getting better for you, your posts were so heartbreaking. Is there anything else we can offer random advice on? My best money tip at the minute is seeing if you have a local food pantry, at ours you can get 10+ food, cereal, sugar etc items plus 2 bigger frozen items with free fresh fruit and veg for a payment of £5. It runs a couple of times a week and the people are lovely aswell. Has the idea of xmas been creeping up? Dreading it here but going to tackle it bit by bit, happy to post any bargains I come across if there is anything or age group you need ideas on :)