To give up my kids?

[rghltifndn]

I’m a single mum of 3.

One a toddler, one with additional needs.

I just cannot cope anymore.

I have no support network.

No family or friends probably because I am a horrible person with mental health issues.

No input from ex.

I fantasise about committing suicide on a daily basis because I can’t cope with how relentless my life is.

I never, ever get a break.

Oldest and youngest have sleep issues so I barely get any sleep.

I can’t go on.

They would be better off without me but l don’t know how to go about doing this.

Wow OP this is such a wonderfully positive thread, people are always terrified that SS are going to take their kids away but it sounds like they have been a really useful support to you and I'm sure there will be others that will find that really heartening.
I only just read all your posts and as soon as i read the first one I was going to ask if it might help to co sleep with some or even all of the kids in the same room, even if it meant moving their beds in or whatever. I'm glad that has really helped. It sounds like you're doing really well OP and focusing on your needs and your mental health.

Well done OP! I have been thinking about you and wondering how everything was going x

I’m so happy to hear that you are doing much better.

Well wishes and I’m praying for you and your family.

This is so good to hear OP!
This will be such a supportive message to those who are currently feeling how you felt when you started this thread.
All good wishes to you 💐

This sounds like a big improvement OP, well done! I'd like to volunteer for something like the telephone friend service. Is it a local or a national thing do you know?

@Phineyj

This sounds like a big improvement OP, well done! I'd like to volunteer for something like the telephone friend service. Is it a local or a national thing do you know?

I’m not sure but I could find out.

That would be so kind of you to do that, it could really help someone.

Excellent update OP, hoping things keep getting better and better for you

Well done, you have come so far

Oh darling, I can give you no professional advice but there are people who can. You need help to find them. Maybe start with your HV or GP?

You’re not a terrible person. You’re possibly
unwell, certainly exhausted and lacking support not just because of your personal circumstances but because of the times we are living in. You very obviously care deeply for your children.

Sending love and hoping others will give you sound advice.

❤️ so pleased to hear your update. I hope things continue to improve.

Thank you for updating OP. I was trying to find this post a few days after your initial post but I couldn't find it in searches. Have thought of you and am so glad you are feeling somewhat better
Co sleep as long as you need to. I get the need to be untouched for times. I know that's hard. But the sleep is most important right now. Real hugs and hope to you. Thank you for sharing here x

What an inspiring post. I’m crying just reading your journey (or atleast part of it). You must of had Incredible strength to pick yourself up like that and get the help you needed. I hope you feel proud that you recognised where you were in your life and what your needed to do. Your kids a bloody lucky to have a mum like you. Keep smashing it you’ve got this xxxxx

What an inspiring thread OP.
Well done.

Lack of sleep is just so hard for some people.
I was on my knees from it a couple of times and it was just awful and I had support.

I'm so glad you are getting some useful help.
Keep posting.
Stay well.

Amazing op - you should feel so proud of yourself! You are taking amazing steps and shouldn’t underestimate how impressive this is and wonderful for your family!

Just really really glad you're better. Hope things continue to improve.

OP my DS has additional needs, it's fucking hard work, you're far from alone! Facebook might be useful for support groups?

You must get in contact with the crisis people, and talk through your worries with them.. Please don't harm yourself in any way. You can keep talking to people on here, as many people have been in the same,or similar situation to yourself.

Couldn't help by notice a few things that might help, does your employer have an employee assistance program (EAP)? They can provide counselling for a short period and you mention of leaving work whilst you get well. Don't use you sick pay recovery from this type of issue is typically 6-8 weeks before most people are back at work, with the holidays this will cut this further.
Check your employers special leaves and ask for an Occupational health referral, and ask if there is a carers passport which is help by employers to accommodate you with with managing caring responsibilities.
Early help really helped me.

So glad to hear your update and things are getting better for you.

Thanks so much for your updates, really glad to know support systems are in place.

I second Homestart & Gingerbread as suggested by pps as well as Contact. They're a specialist disability charity for families of children with SEND. They have a helpline & can advise you on what you're entitled to etc. contact.org.uk/

Also get in touch with your local parent carer forum for families of children with SEND. They're run by parent/carers of kids with SEND so can be a good source of specialist SEND advice & support available in your area. They work in partnership with the local authority & clinical commissioning groups. Check here for your local one:
nnpcf.org.uk/?amp

www.gov.uk/disability-living-allowance-children

www.gov.uk/help-for-disabled-child

www.carersuk.org/ - support for unpaid carers.

www.gov.uk/apply-direct-payments

www.mencap.org.uk/ - SEND Help

www.mind.org.uk/ - Mental health dupport

www.autism.org.uk/

If you worked p/t you might be eligible for carers allowance but you should be claiming DLA for your child with autism & possibly direct payments. So it will help you buy in short breaks/respite support, speak to Contact or Mencap about claiming this.

Good luck.

There is a special needs board on Mnet which is a great source of support from fellow parent/carers of children with SEND. Worth looking out for it.

Hi OP where abouts are you?

Definitely look at a voluntary foster placement for your kids- call your local council and speak to social services.

Apart from that, consider having an au pair for example, if you have a spare room? Could help out with kids!

you’re an inspiration. So happy to hear things are getting better.