Partner wants baby, but I'm 38!

[BusyMum84]

My new partner wants to try for a baby, I already have 17,13 and 7 year old from previous relationship. Is it selfish to have a baby at 38? Is 38 to old to do it all again?

Any advice much appreciated x

My youngest was nearly 6 when I had a dc with a new dh
. I was 43!!

38 doesn't seem to old to me. There are many babies being born after 40. But nowadays 30s is normal.

The bigger question in here is do you want another child?

38 is not too old. But what do YOU want? It's your body.

It depends... Would you like another baby? ... Could you afford another baby? Do you really think partner will be around in the long term?
Not that unusual to have baby at 39/40

Do you actually want a baby OP? Or would you be doing it for him?

38 isn't too old if its what you want

How new is this partner?

You're not too old biologically if it were your first but why would you go back to the beginning again?

What are the finances like? do you own your house? would it benefit you to get married or would it jeopardise your financial stability to get married to him? And if it would benefit YOU does he want to get married to you?

Or does he just want to talk you in to having a fourth child at no risk to himself financially?

38 isn’t too old but what do you want? How would a new sibling impact upon your existing children?

How new is your new partner?

It's not too old, but it's also ok for you to feel that part of your life is over for you, and not to want to do the new baby thing again.

I don’t think you are asking yourself the right question. The right question is do you want to have a baby.

@ItPearl do you need to own your own house to have a baby?

38 isn’t too old at all. It’s a perfectly normal age to have a baby, my last was at 36 and he was my 3rd but if I was having more I wouldn’t have hesitated at 38. Having said that, do you actually want a baby? Starting again with such a gap would be a no no for me and I wouldn’t have wanted 4 full stop

Your age is not a particular issue but I would personally not have another child with a new partner if I had three children already.

Your children are big now. Why would you want to start at the beginning again?

You haven’t said whether you want one. Not wanting a baby is good enough reason for not having one.

How new is your new partner?

Go for it, OP. If it’s what YOU want

Does your partner already have any children from previous relationships?

It's definitely not too old but you have to really want to have a baby yourself. You don't do it just to please your partner.

Could you cope raising it as a lone parent ? I had a similar dilemma at 37. Thankfully I decided against. The relationship failed. The relationship you have may be amazing and lifelong but I think its always wise to have that in the back of your mind.

I’ve just had twins at 41 and I was nearly 38 when I had my first. So no it isn’t too old.

I have crap sleep and a three year old. I’m already in that baby/small child chaos. Don’t know if I could do it if I had an older family. It’s whether you want to go back to it.

How long have you been together?
He'll do 50/50 from the off without quibbling if the relationship fails yes? Does the other DC father?

Don't have one just to please him if you don't want one. What happens if you split up? You'd be a single mother to 4, not 3!

Not too old generally but maybe for you as you've done it all before.