Partner wants baby, but I'm 38!

[BusyMum84]

My new partner wants to try for a baby, I already have 17,13 and 7 year old from previous relationship. Is it selfish to have a baby at 38? Is 38 to old to do it all again?

Any advice much appreciated x

58 with 3 year old. Frozen embryo baby. On my own. You are never too old. Much better now when I have time and money. Go for it. X

I had 2nd baby at 38 so you would not be too old. Can you be arsed though?

I had my first at 36 so it's really up to you both...

The op has literally posted nothing in eight pages. Does anyone seriously think they’re coming back?

@TurquoiseDress

* if you really want to have another one, not just because your partner does!

This. I have four children, had the last when I was "only" 33 and that was fine, but when some of your children are almost adults it would really be like starting again. Is it really what you want? It would be awful if you had regrets. Personally I would not do it if I were you. You didn't say whether your new partner already has children, if not you may feel that your relationship is dependent on it? If so that is not a good reason to go ahead.

As has already been said - this is not the question that should determine whether you have a fourth child. Is this a stable relationship- have you been together long enough to feel confident that this is a stable and healthy relationship? Do you have enough time and money for a fourth child ? How will it impact on the children you already have ? What is best for your children - the ones you have and the one you are considering having ?

You say ‘new partner’. How new? Do you mean new, as in he’s not your dc’s father, or new, as in only been with him a short time? How long have you been together (and living together)? Don’t let him emotionally manipulate him.

The big question is, do you want to start again with another baby? Do you feel comfortable with the idea of having 4 kids to take care of on your own if he finds being a parent too much or starts making huge differences in how he treats his kid compared to how he treats yours.

At 38, I felt very broody, in fact I was broody until my mid forties BUT, after raising my child on my own for years there was no way I was going to take such decision with my heart. My head said no, and I’m glad I listened as despite his interest to start a new family together we didn’t last more than 4 years.

Your age shouldn't hold you back if your general health is good. However, the ONLY reason to have a baby is that you, yourself, very much want to be a mother again. If you don't, then you need to have a very honest discussion with your DP about this. Yes, it could end the relationship...however, in the long run, being pressured into having a child, OR denying a person who very much wants to be a father, will erode the relationship over time, anyway. Less painful to do it now, if that is the case.

Surely the time to talk about this was before you got serious with him - but don't whatever you do have a baby just to please him - best case you will be doing all the grunt work worst case you will be doing all the work on your own

I have the most awesome son at 41. 38 is not too old to have a child as long as you do want to have one.

You're not too old but I would not bring a child into this world as it is for anyone.

Your youngest is 7... That's 11 more years of hell then they can leave. Are you insane? 🤣

It's not about age as some others have said. It's not all that unusual for women to be having kids at that age these days after all!

It's the fact OP already has kids... the oldest being 17... the youngest being 7, large age gaps and starting over again!

Also how 'new' is a 'new partner'?

I don’t think you are too old but it’s not something I would want to do.

38 not old. It really depends on whether or not you want another.

It's not so much the age as already having three.

Is it that he particularly wants one of his own/one with you?

1- Do YOU actually want a baby? Had the idea of another child seriously ever entered your head before he proposed it? Thirty-eight isn't old to have a child, but it's the idea of 'starting over' now that your youngest is in school and is able to be a bit independent and needs a lower level of care.

2-How comfortable are you with the idea of raising a 4th child on your own? Statistically speaking you have a 25% chance that you will be. If someone told me the plane I was getting on had a 25% chance of crashing, I wouldn't get on that plane!

You refer to him as a 'new' partner. YABU for entertaining the idea of a baby with someone you consider 'new'.

Not sure Id want to be juggling the demands of teenagers and toddlers at once, personally. But each to their own.
What do you want? If you want a baby, 38 isn’t too old.

@PurpleDaisies

The op has literally posted nothing in eight pages. Does anyone seriously think they’re coming back?

Yep op's too "busy" to bother with anyone giving her their time and effort on here. Or it's a load of bollocks.

Very rude either way.

I don't care if you're 28, 38 or even 48! If you don't want another child it's your choice!

study epigenetics, and then DNA becomes less important than environment - and i don't mean nurture/nature - i mean that kids pick up from all parenting people, and grand parenting people.

I dont think your too old, but I can see why you wouldn't want another. Who wants to start all over again, when your kids are getting older. Don;t do it