That's an interesting question StarlightLady, I know in other threads there have been a mix of opinions on things we're meant to be upfront about.
@trancepants I was one who commented on being fetishized as a bisexual woman by straight men.
I think there is a difference in finding something attractive and fetishizing it. The latter tends to involve people who push for intimate details purely for their own arousal, who treat you like their ideal of a bisexual rather than an individual and get put out when we don't meet those expectations (because as a fetish, we're an object to them rather than a person), and in more extreme versions pushing for threesomes or trying to recreate particular acts with the 'you did this with your ex, why not with me?' sort of thing.
It's kinda like finding something interesting about a person vs wanting someone with a particular experience to entertain based on that. People who find my past with both sexes interesting or attractive can be lovely, those who think it means they can push past decent boundaries for their own amusement or pleasure are the type who tend to escalate into something risky. Likely for many social reasons, I've found straight guys tend to be riskier in that regard.
@EpitomeofAnOldBattle I mean if you have a strong political/emotional motivation to feel that gender is meaningless you can choose sex to define these terms.
My issue with using gender is that we've decades of research across thousands of species showing the normality of homosexual and bisexual behaviours based on observations involving biological sex.
Making sexuality (rather than sexual preferences) about gender or gender presentation involves applying current certain ideas of gender universal to not only all humans but to all sexually reproducing animals sexuality and/or basically calling into question all that research based on current ideas of gender that are very much not universal since, while we can observe some gendered behaviour in some social animals, we can not really observe gender as that certain framework current defines it.
I think on a cultural level there has been a push for sexuality to mean every part of our personalities or interests possibly related to sex, which means many people end up talking at cross purposes when discussing sexuality, but I think there are areas where it's important to separate sexuality as in the sex(es) one can be attracted to and the rest of the sexual preferences, how we experience and process emotions around sexuality, and so on. Maybe we need better language around that as right now it can all end up getting mushed up together.